How The Experts Pick Up Women All The Time!

In his book The Game, Neil Strauss popularizes the Pick Up Artist (PUA). Many men worldwide have had their eyes opened by this impressive book and revitalized their dating lives. Whether you're new to dating, or feel you're pretty experienced, the tips laid out here should help you in your dating life.

Right off the bat, keep in mind that there really are two different kinds of pick up artists. The first kind studies long and hard, committing different PUA routines and stories to memory for later retelling to their targeted women. These stories and routines are each intended to impress women and attract them to the PUA, and to ensure his success, he carefully crafts and polishes them. If you’ve read The Game, you probably recognize Mystery as this kind of PUA.

The "natural game" is how Strauss characterizes the approach used by the second type of PUA. The natural game involves the PUA relying not on memorized lines and routines, but on his own natural charm, wit and personality to achieve success with women. This fellow will approach women confidently, and his conversation will be spontaneous, natural, hence the label. If you've read The Game, you'll recognize this approach as the one used by “Juggler.”

There are advantages and disadvantages to each approach. My preferred approach is "natural game," but I've seen success achieved with both techniques. When you memorize all that material, you're at the mercy of the material - and your memory. I find it far preferable to have a woman attracted to me because of my own wit and personality - who I really am - than to know she's attracted to me because of some tale I spun for her.

Whichever technique you use, though, one of the most important pieces of advice I can offer is this: concentrate on the real you and your inner game. The term "inner game" is used to describe the real you - who you are, your beliefs, and especially your own self-confidence. You see, it doesn't matter how many tips and routines you've memorized, or how many stories you've fabricated - if you feel shy and unattractive, you're really not very likely to approach a woman you find attractive. The other side of the coin is this: if you're confident in your ability to approach and talk with women, you'll be able to approach any woman you want to - even the most attractive - and carry on a nice conversation without fear of being turned away.

A guideline I find very useful is this: take things easy. Don't expect to start at the top. Attend to the basics and develop your confidence and courage - the time will come when you'll be dating multiple women at once. When you find something in your path - an obstacle that keeps you from being successful - you must concentrate specifically on overcoming that obstacle. For me, it was shyness. To overcome my shyness, I devised a special challenge for myself. I had to talk with 100 strangers every week. You're going to run into obstacles, and it's your job to figure out how to overcome them.

I think that of all the guidance I can give, though, one of the most important is also one of the simplest: consistency. Find a style you like and stick to it. Too often, guys who want to be PUAs will spend all sorts of money buying all sorts of books and other instructional material, constantly jumping from one approach to another. After trying many approaches briefly, they'll denounce them all as ineffective. The fact is, though, that dating success was available to these guys if they'd simply stuck with a single approach and gave it an honest trial.

So that's my final advice for you - stick with the style that feels best to you.