How to Build Confidence.

There’s a common misconception that people have that seriously hinders them from being relaxed and confident around people. It’s the limiting belief that they have no control or influence over the feelings and emotions that they feel throughout their body. That they just kind of happen…and they have no way of knowing whether they will feel calm about their first day in a new job or confident going on that first date…

After all we have good days and bad days right? And we just have to hope that the good ones coincide with the challenges we face?

Wrong!

In truth a lot of the emotions and feelings we experience on a day to day basis occur unconsciously but we still create them and it’s possible to take conscious control of them and re-produce more of the types that serve us and empower us rather than hinder us.

In the late nineties neuroscientist and pharmacologist, Candace Pert wrote a book called ‘Molecules of Emotion’ which was an accumulation of 20 year’s research into the mind body link and the role that emotions play in your health and how we show up in the world…

Pert discovered that the mind is not just in the brain – it’s also in the body. The vehicle that the mind and body use to communicate with each other is the chemistry of emotion. These chemicals are molecules, short chains of amino acids called peptides and receptors that she believes to be the ‘biochemical correlate of emotion’.

The peptides can be found in your brain, but also in your stomach, your muscles, your glands and all your major organs, sending messages back and forth.

Pert’s research has huge significance and pretty much scientifically proves the mind body link and the importance of human emotion. In particular her researched focused on how the body reacts when a drug is introduced to the system. She found that when a person takes a drug, it attaches itself onto the relevant receptor. Ie if it was heroin it attaches onto what is known as ‘the opiate receptor’. Then based on this connection another chemical is released into the blood stream that gives the person the feeling associated with the drug. So in other words, its not the drug that gives you the feeling, it’s your bodies reaction to the drug…That, in actual fact, you already have the chemicals inside you to produce these feelings, its just a matter of learning how.

So how do we start to generate and build pleasurable feelings and emotions in our body?

Well again, there is a lot more to it than what you are about to cover but this is certainly a good start.

What you Focus on Internally

One of the most powerful ways to change and develop the physical sensations and feelings in your body is by direct manipulation of what is known as your internal representations.

Internal representations are what we focus on internally from moment to moment. Most of the time this happens unconsciously but we can do it deliberately if we choose to...

There are three main ways to focus internally. You can do so Visually, Auditory and through feelings (both physical touch and emotional sensations).

Focusing internally through the visual channel involves making pictures inside your mind, usually in the form of slides and movies.

Focusing internally through the auditory channel involves hearing sounds inside your mind sometimes in relation to the pictures you’re are seeing and having an internal chat with yourself…

The pictures and movies that you make inside your mind, the sounds associated with them and the way you speak to yourself can have a huge impact on the emotions and feelings you experience from moment to moment....

For example, stop for a minute and imagine being down a dark alley way…step into the movie, make the image larger, more focused and turn the sounds up…Now start playing Michael Jackson’s thriller inside your mind and say to yourself in a scared tone of voice,

“oh no, oh no…someone’s coming to get me!”

You feel a change don’t you?

Now stop and remember a time when you performed at your peak…
A time where you felt confident, totally up for it and it was almost as if you couldn’t put a foot wrong...

Personally I believe everyone has had a time like this in some shape or form but if you’re struggling ask yourself the following question...

What would it be like if I felt confident, totally up for it and couldn’t put a foot wrong? What would I see, here and feel?

The key is imagination. We all have one it’s just some people have forgotten to use it...

Now close your eyes and imagine this as vividly as you can, step into the movie, make the images brighter, larger and more focused…Then turn the sounds up, hear them in both ears and inside your mind say in the most confident voice you can muster...

“YES!!”

As you do this notice where you feel the physical sensations the strongest...Is it in your stomach, chest, arms, hands, legs, feet, head, back or somewhere else?

It may only be a small sensation at first but the more you imagine it the stronger it becomes and the more it will spread throughout your body...

Now do it again. Close your eyes and bring back this memory...imagine it as vividly as you can, making the images larger, brighter, more focused...Turn the sounds up, hear them in both ears and say inside your mind in the most confident voice you can muster...

“YES!!”

This time, as you feel the feelings, ask yourself the following two questions and notice what happens:

1. What would it be like if this feeling was to double in intensity?

2. What would it like if this feeling was to spread throughout every part of my body?

Allow a few minutes for the response to happen and the feelings to become more intense...

The amazing thing is you’ve only been doing this for a few minutes...The intensity of the physical sensations you feel increase significantly through time and practice. My invitation for you is to practice this for ten minutes everyday for the next week and you will be amazed at the difference you feel.