If you’ve been struggling with jealousy in your relationship, I know how difficult it can be to battle with the green-eyed monster.

Your imagination starts to paint all sorts of pictures in your mind and you find your thoughts flooded with what-if situations. This can be enough to sent a jolt of panic through you or send you spiraling off into a flight of anger.

But you need to realize that jealousy is 100% entirely in your mind. Jealousy can destroy a relationship, but it doesn’t have to if you can get your thoughts under control.

Your thoughts are your own and you can actually control your thinking with a few of the tips, I’m going to talk about here.

Any time you feel an emotion like jealousy or anything else that you may not like such as sadness, anger, or anything else, you have to realize that these emotions are coming from you. Other people are not responsible for how you feel. Sure, they are responsible for their own actions, there’s no doubt about that. But how you view and respond to their actions is completely on you.

You can control your emotions by controlling what you focus your mind on. All bad emotions (yes, all of them) come from focusing your mind on what you don’t want. This includes jealousy.

When you feel good, you are focusing on what you do want.

So the question then is, how can we focus on what we want?

We do this through the questions we ask ourselves. If you ask yourself a question like “What is she doing while she’s out to lunch with that ‘guy friend’ of hers?” you will ultimately start thinking about your wife or girlfriend getting romanced by this new friend of hers. This will start the balling rolling for the gremlins of jealousy to take over your mind.

On the other hand, if you start asking yourself questions like “If she’s out with a friend right now, what can I do with my free time to enjoy myself?” you will immediately start to find things that will make you feel good.

The point isn’t to turn a blind eye on a problem. The point is to let go of trying to control things that are outside of your control. If your girlfriend is out to lunch with a friend, no amount of thinking is going to change what happens, so why worry about it?

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