How To Deal With An Overprotective Mother-In-Law: How To Deal With A Difficult Mother-In-Law

To many individuals, marriage is a life-long relationship. It starts when a man and a woman decide to live together as man and wife. Normally, there is a little ceremony during such a moment, where a number of friends and family members come to witness the start of the marriage. However, even without such a ceremony, when a couple decides to get married, they are recognized as husband and wife. It is soon after marriage when many couples start to face challenges such as how to deal with an overprotective mother-in-law. This happens when a female parent of the married couple becomes too protective to her 'child.'

To some parents, it is quite simple to let children go and have their own families when they become adults. However, to some individuals, it is not that simple. Some parents refuse to admit their children have grown up and got married. They want to stay close to them to ensure their spouses are treating them right.

Although both male and female can be overprotective to their married children, the case is more prevalent in female. They are the so called mother-in-law. It does not matter whether it is their son or daughter who is married; they always want to be protective. At times they are protective for genuine reasons while at other times they are guided by selfish motives. Nevertheless, there are a number of things you can do to ensure to keep such parents from wrecking havoc to your marriage, in case you are married to their son or daughter. Below are some tips on how to deal with an overprotective mother-in-law.

1. Institute a base of trust between her and you. Give her reasons to trust you and believe you are capable of taking good care of her son or daughter without being pushed to do it.

2. Establish communication channels with her. This way, you will learn why she is so protective. Probably you are not the problem. Rather, she might be the problem and is only overacting because she feels you are taking her son or daughter away from her.

3. Avoid being too possessive of your spouse. This way, the mother-in-law might drop her militant attitude and stop being overprotective to her son or daughter.

4. Cultivate friendship with your mother-in-law. By so doing, she might cease seeing you as a threat and start considering you as a friend.

5. Get people you trust and who she respects to discuss with her how you feel about her attitude and over protectiveness.

6. Do not attempt to stand between her and your spouse. Doing that would make her more protective, since she will feel you are trying to rob her of your spouse's affection.

This list about how to deal with a protective mother-in-law is not exhaustive. There are many other things you can do to effectively to deal with the problem. Finally, it is important to note the protective parent might be doing all that because she loves her 'child'. The worst you can do is taking it personal and make them your worst enemies.

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I have always been against people assuming things; but if you are asking 'how to tell if my marriage is in trouble'. The first thing that alerts you is your instinct. It's easy to tell when there is a change in your relationship or your spouse. The second thing that will alert you is behavioral change.

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'How to tell if my marriage is in trouble' There is no couple that does not fight or have an argument at some stage in their relationship. But when these fights become about anything and everything then you are heading for a crisis. Unresolved conflict is another thing that puts peoples' marriages at risk. Every time you fight and one of you storms off and comes back later and nothing is said it will impact the relationship.

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What do you want

You want to save your marriage. What exactly don't you want to lose? Do you cherish those intimate moments? Do you want to fight less? Do you want to return to those special times when you were newly wedded? When you know what you are fighting for. Your quest to make it work will only get stronger.

Where did it go wrong

When you got married, things were beautiful. You enjoyed each other and could not get enough of each other. So where did it all go wrong? When did you start hurling abuses at each other and sleeping in different bedrooms?

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Compromise is key

Do not apportion blames. It is nobody's fault. Just weed out the problems in your relationship and find a solution. This is easier said than done. Despite the will to change and make things work, some things aren't going to go away easily.

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Spend time with each other

Relationships go stale when two people stop paying attention to each other. When you are married and see each other every day, things get taken for granted. And before you know it a wedge drives you apart. To return to those times you used to pay attention to each other. Set aside at least one day for each other. Go bowling. See a movie. Check out an oriental restaurant. Forget about work, the kids and money problems. And just focus on each other. It will work wonders.

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People always say "Forgive and Forget" what they don't tell you is the hardest part about Forgiving is Forgetting. Mental Abuse, Emotional Abuse, and Verbal Abuse can be heart breaking, but the plus side is once you find yourself, nothing can stop you, just keep forging ahead. Setting your sights on bigger, broader and better things will give you hop, strength and the endurance to overcome many obstacles.

When I found a new home, a place that I could feel at home in, it was like something had been lifted off of me, it had. I had a second chance at life, at being happy really happy for what seemed like the first time in my life. Don't listen to someone else, listen to yourself, you're the one living the miserable marriage, unhappy and sad, putting on a happy face, pretending that all's well. All the while you are crying and dying inside, I Know, I've Been There, Done That and it was not easy. I found me, you'll find you.

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