How To Deal With Difficult Husband: Hardened Heart In Marriage

How To Deal With Difficult Husband: Hardened Heart In Marriage

Is it possible to make your husband love you again, after the love seems to be lost? This is something that's in the minds of many wives who have doubts about the marriage after the honeymoon ends and realities start kicking in. There's no doubt that trying to maintain a life under the same roof can make it harder to keep the spark of love between you and your husband alive. However, all is not lost, and you can employ several strategies to make him fall in love with you again - this time for good.

To make your husband love you, you first need to acknowledge the fact that your current behavior isn't doing this situation a favor and needs to be changed. Of course the first reaction is usually to blame the other spouse (your husband), but it's no secret that your own behavior must have had an effect on the situation. The usual problem is that, the wife takes the husband for granted. This makes it harder for your husband to stay in love with you. Maybe you don't want to talk with him about things that are important to him. Maybe you aren't listening to him. Whatever taking him for granted made you do; change it and stop being combative. Start supporting him, start listening to him. Your husband would always love to hear what you love about him. Summary: Show him your love, and that you value him above all else.

Another point is to remember your role as a wife. Passing years as a mother might have dulled your sense of your position as your husband's romantic partner. To make your husband love you again you must ensure that this situation changes. If there are children in your marriage, arrange something for them so that they'll be away some time. At least *try* to arrange this to make your husband see that you know that you're still his romantic partner, and that you want to spend some time alone with him.

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A lot of people believe that once one spouse mentions / wants divorce, the whole marriage is doomed and there's nothing the other can do in order to bring the marriage back on track. This is absolute nonsense. Your spouse married you for a reason, things changed after the marriage and now they want out. But it's in your hands to turn yourself back into how you were, and repair the marriage. In fact, I did exactly that!

Unfortunately, what changes after a marriage is one very fundamental aspect. With the marriage, you have officially pledged your life to your spouse. You are now a "piece of cake" because you already belong to your spouse and there's no danger of you suddenly saying "I am over this" and get out of the relationship; like you could have done BEFORE a marriage. This situation works against the laws of attraction: People want what they can't have. Unfortunately, after a marriage, you are by all means, easy to have. But it's not impossible to reverse this.

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What I did, and what you should do; was realizing that I am not my husband's property. Why am I begging him to come back to me? Won't this drive him further away, since it makes me even "easier to have"? OK, I haven't thought that by myself, I received some outside advice; but it chased away the clouds in my mind and gave me a route to take: Making myself less easily reachable by my husband and showing him I might not be that easy to have after all.

What you must do is to enter a similar mentality change. Believe me - once you change your mentality, the whole situation opens up. You calm down, and look at everything from a wider perspective; and make yourself more attractive to your spouse.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed and want to hide from your loved ones? Are you finding yourself even starting arguments, having an accident, or becoming ill so that you can have some time alone? Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a constructive way to have that need met?

As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I have heard the cry for alone time from many clients. Especially in these busy times, it is very important to have a way to satisfy that need, and not at the expense of others or your body.

For example, Dean and Kathy, who were in my office for marriage counseling, were complaining to me about their frequent yelling bouts. When I asked them the time of the day that most of their arguments occurred, they replied, "We have a fight practically every evening when Dean comes home from work."

In their common scenario, Dean would arrive home around 6:30 pm., after what he described as a stressful day at the office and on the road in rush hour traffic. Kathy would greet him at the door, stressed from a full day of looking after their two active young children, and their dog and cat.

Fiasco is a good way to describe what happens when two stressful people meet with different pressing needs. Dean, exhausted and drained, desires time alone to decompress from the pressures of his day. Kathy also burned out by that time of the day from the many demands from her family, wants Dean to help her with the children. She is also desperately wanting to speak to an adult, but she is frustrated because Dean is not listening.

To help them resolve their problem, I suggested to Kathy that she take at least twenty minutes for herself before Dean comes home. Then she would be better able to be relaxed and undemanding at that crucial time.

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Then I told Dean that it would be a good idea for him to briefly greet his family and then to spend at least twenty minutes alone to regain his composure. Dean loved the idea and decided to hide in the bedroom, to change his clothes and to stretch out on his bed while listening to soothing music.

Both Kathy and Dean were able to hear how each other felt during the twilight hours. With understanding and compassion, they were ready to solve their problem. By the end of the counseling session, Kathy and Dean were both feeling acknowledged and satisfied with the plan.

When the couple returned the following week they were very excited with the results. Kathy and Dean realized that they mistakenly believed that the other person did not care about them. Now they accepted the truth that they deeply cared about each other and just needed some space.

The loving couple were experiencing smooth transitions during what was previously a "witching hour." Dean was able to switch gears and be the loving father and husband he wanted to be. Kathy succeeded in shifting into becoming the patient, loving wife she truly was.

Dean and Kathy also followed my suggestion of putting a sign on the closed bedroom doorknob that said, "I Love You and I Need Space." They agreed to display that clearly communicating sign whenever they felt the need to be alone in order to relax and re-group. The children also had their signs ready when they needed them.

The couple succeeded in solving the rest of their problems. They reported fewer arguments, accidents, and illness. The family, including the dog and the cat, were much more harmonious.

No matter what age you are, it is a wonderful gift to yourself and others to explain what you need so that you can be supported. To make sure that they get the clear message, post your sign, "I Love You and I Need Space."

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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How to heal from emotional abuse starts by recognizing that you have a problem. Even if you have already severed ties from an abusive relationship, it doesn't mean that everything will just go back to being alright.

There is an invisible energy stream that still exists between you and your previous abusive partner. It prevents you from being able to move forward with your life as you still unconsciously carry the emotional burden caused by the narcissist. You need to actively work from separating yourself in mind and soul to be able to break free from it. You will soon learn how as you continue to read along.

It is very helpful to regard yourself as a survivor and a winner instead of a victim. It immediately empowers you and gives you back control of your life. Here are some tips on how to heal from emotional abuse:

Understand that it's not your fault

Once you are able to find comfort in the fact that it's not your fault, you will begin to realize that you are not the cause of negative experiences you have gone through as opposed to what your abuser made you believe.

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Confide in a close friend or relative

The people you trust will be able to provide you with the love and support at this critical time of healing. Talking about what you have gone through will help you better understand and accept your experience of abuse.

Discover coping tools

Find out what helps you express your emotions, release anger or grief. Writing in a journal, composing poems or songs, painting, any sport or playing a musical instrument can help you cope and let out your feelings. It will aid you in taking your mind off the pain you suffered and replace it with good and happy memories.

Take care of yourself

Learn to look after yourself first before taking care of others. Believe that you are worthy of respect, love and acceptance just like everybody else. Take pride in your unique qualities and improve on your weaknesses. You have to have faith in yourself first before other people do.

Remain strong and committed to bring in the change in your life. There will be days that won't be as good as the others but continue to be thankful. Look at your situation as being born again, with an even more beautiful soul and a new life to look forward to.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here