How To Decide To Divorce Or Stay Married: How Do You Know When Its Time To Leave Your Marriage

You probably will not find many married people who will say that marriage is easy. Any relationship takes effort to make it work well. However, there are times when you may wonder if you can save your marriage and if it is even worth saving. When considering whether or not you should make any attempt to salvage your relationship, there are several aspects you should think about.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

-What attracted you to your partner?
-What made you fall in love with this person?
-Were you really in love or was it just infatuation?
-What is your history together?
-Have you had good times along with the bad?
-Do the good times outweigh the bad ones?
-What are the causes or reasons for the bad issues?
-Do you think you can overcome the obstacles to these issues?
-If you have children, have you given serious thought as to how a separation or divorce will affect them?

Answer these questions honestly and even write your responses down to review later.

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Now, think about what characteristics you envision your "perfect" spouse as having. Write these thoughts down as well. Be realistic in your expectations otherwise, your unrealistic ideals will just set you up for failure. Not every man can be Prince Charming nor can every woman be a super model.

Next, think about how your spouse compares to what you ideal is. Does he or she match up in most areas or is there a severe lacking of deficiencies?

Now, look over your answers to the questions and really examine what you have written down. Hopefully this exercise has given you an opportunity to consider and evaluate your relationship to help determine its worth.

Your marriage is probably the most important relationship in your life. Trying to save your marriage can be difficult, but in most cases, couples should try salvage their marital commitment to each other if at all possible. Yes, it will take a lot of work and dedication, but if you believe your marriage is worth saving, then your chances of being successful are great.

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Who would cry over spilled milk and neglect to wipe it up? The same concept applies to marriage. Save your marriage before it passes a point of no return. By trying to wipe up - or fix - your relationship, you are doing yourself a big favor.

If you are both alert and sensitive, there really shouldn't be a difficulty in identifying the early signs of any breaking relationship. One big symptom you should look out for is the decrease in meaningful communication. If meaningful communication is missing in your marriage, then your relationship is bound to break sooner or later.

You don't have anything to share with your spouse. When you do, you don't have time-you are busy at work. When you have time to spend with your partner, they simply don't have the time to. When both of you have time, you would rather be doing other things that seem more fun than sitting on a couch or in bed and talking things over. This is a big sign that you should start trying to save your marriage.

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Another big symptom that is observed in every breaking relationship or marriage is competition. You would try to outmatch your spouse in every way possible. You debate deep topics, not for the sake of understanding each other, but to prove yourself right. You get into verbal jousts just to get your point across.

Even if you do have these symptoms, you still love each other. You live under the same roof and sleep in the same bed. You respect and love each other, but these symptoms must not be ignored!

The first step would be to analyze yourself and see what mistakes or misunderstandings you have had in the past. Confess these to your partner and this will possibly allow for open communication. Put your pride aside - don't throw it away, you might need it later - and respect what your partner decides to do. What he or she thinks matters!

To save your marriage isn't about moving it down the road. It's about patching the relationship up. There is no logic behind extending a broken bridge. Learn to catch signs of boredom. Love is not passive - you have to learn to water the plant.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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If your husband comes to you with divorce papers, then you may be in dire straights. If you're in dire straits, then it can be up to you to fix the marriage. If you're not up to the challenge of fixing your marriage, then you can become overwhelmed by the looming legality of a divorce that is being forced upon you. You are the only one who can curtail the divorce from happening if family, friends, and relatives have already talked to him. Do your best to ensure that he doesn't want a divorce anymore.

The institution of marriage is a critical institution that is the bedrock of the country, society, and world that creates happier people and better lives all around the world. Without marriage, many people would feel out of sorts and out of touch and ache for something more real and promising in their lives. The statistics prove that marriage is more healthy than not being married. People can lead a more fulfilling life if they're married than if they're not married. You must have a storage of hope to save your marriage, and you have to be willing to fight to the death to save your marriage from the jaws of defeat. If your spouse has zero interest in the marriage, then it is up to you to make it succeed.

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You should use the proven tactic of manipulation to make it work. This is merely a strategy that causes your husband to be more interested in you because he has once again retained that since of mystery that kept him interested in you in the first place. If there is no initial mystery, then your husband will fall out of love with you all over again. It is up to you to create this new sense of mystery for you and your husband. Otherwise, your husband will fall out of favor with you and neither of you will get along very well.

The trick of manipulation is a proven tactic that works all the time. When it doesn't work, it is because you didn't try hard enough. It is logically proven to work because your husband once fell in love with you. If he can re-kindle that first sensation that caused him to fall in love with you, then you are ready to go all over again.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

Okay, how many of you saw that title and thought that it was going to be about how your partner could become a better partner to you? How many thought it meant how YOU could become a better partner? Ah, there's the rub. It's much easier and more comfortable to think about how your partner could be doing a better job.

Relationships need to grow and evolve, which means that the people in them need to grow and evolve. It's not good enough to stake out your spot and expect your partner to grow towards you. I'm certain that your partner is not a perfect person or a perfect partner. I'm equally certain that neither are you.

Since the only person in this world that you can change is YOU, you might as well get busy on Project You. It's no good to wait for your partner to go first. If the relationship is going to be successful, work from the assumption that you need to go first. Ideally your partner will work from the identical assumption.

The first step is to think about the kind of person that you'd like to be in this relationship. You've seen many relationships in your life. Some of them will serve as an inspiration; some will be only a bad example. Either kind of example is instructive.

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In an inspiring relationship that you've observed, what did you see in that partner that was particularly positive and admirable? Was it patience? Generosity? Kindness? Hard work and responsibility? An easygoing spirit? Spirituality? There isn't only one right answer to this question. The point is to think about in what way YOU would like to become more like this inspiring example. This is a reflection of YOUR values. The answer could be different for everyone.

What about in the bad example - what did you observe that was negative, wrong or destructive? Was it anger? Intolerance? Disrespect? Indifference? Impatience? Again, there isn't only one answer here. This is about YOUR values. Sometimes seeing someone else acting out your worst qualities can be more illuminating than anyone else telling you about them. Did you observe something that made you uncomfortable, especially if it hit too close to home? Seeing it play out in front of you can be really helpful in understanding why you want to change a particular behavior or trait in yourself.

Bella and Nick were still avoiding conversation after their last fight. Each was convinced that he or she had been completely justified in their attitude. For this evening out with her parents they'd agreed to behave together as if nothing had happened. Bella found that she kept running over the fight in her mind, even as she made polite conversation at the table. Suddenly she found herself watching her parents have essentially the same fight that she and Nick had just had. The details were different, but the attitudes were frighteningly similar.

Bella watched as her mother criticized pretty much everything that her father did. He sat down too hard, he spoke too loudly, he ate too fast, etc. For awhile her dad had just ignored the criticism, continuing with his meal and the conversation. After her mom had told him that he was an idiot to order dessert when he hadn't been exercising enough, her dad had finally had enough. He'd barked at his wife to, "Back off, woman, or find your own way home!" Her mother, deeply offended by his anger and what she felt was his disrespectful attitude, threw her napkin over her plate and refused to speak another word.

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Bella was horrified. The worst wasn't that this had happened in a public place. Over the years she'd lived through many such events. The worst wasn't that Nick had observed the whole ugly exchange; he'd seen it before.

No, the worst was realizing that she, Bella, had earlier behaved in the same relentlessly critical way toward Nick. Her horror was quickly followed by the rationalization that he had, she was confident, deserved the criticism. And after all, he'd been very rude and disrespectful back to her! But as she sat with her parents in the aftermath of their fight, she understood that nothing Nick had done could justify her behavior. She had been critical and unkind and intolerant and disrespectful. She'd behaved in an ugly way toward the man she'd sworn to honor and cherish. She felt sick.

She swore to herself that she'd learn from this awful evening, that she wouldn't keep repeating in her marriage what she'd always hated in her parents'.

As soon as they were alone together she took Nick's hand and met his eyes.

"I am truly sorry, Nick, for how I behaved earlier. I don't want to be like my mother. I promise to work on changing my own behavior instead of criticizing yours."

Nick, still smarting from the evening's tensions, was both surprised and skeptical. He did however appreciate the obvious sincerity in her words. Time would tell.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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