Practicing your confident sexual self

Do you feel confident sexually?

We often think of sexual confidence in terms of “skills.” If someone knows the “correct” hand motions or what to do with their tongue, they should feel confident. But sexual skills can be difficult to acquire if you are single.

And even those who are skilled don't always feel confident. Real sexual confidence starts inside.

Here are some key tips to increase confidence on your own.

1. Know your own sexual self

The first confidence-builder is knowing yourself -- what works for you, and what doesn't. Simple self knowledge can help boost self confidence.

Most of us have not allow ourselves to do understand our own authentic sexual selves. And many of us, especially women, haven't been encouraged to, or had the freedom to explore sexuality in the same way men have. Instead, it is easier to refer to popular stereotypes -- in the latest romcom or erotic novel -- to get our knowledge of sexual intimacy.

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2. Practice, practice, practice

Knowing what you like or don't like is only half of the journey. Experience is the other crucial part. And that can be difficult to do without a partner.

How do you practice without a partner?

As a single person this can be a bit of a hurdle. Luckily newer technology gives us anonymous options – that remove the need for a real-life partner.

Phone Chat lines or Online Chat

Online is one of the safest, easiest ways to start exploring your sexual ideas and thoughts. Completely anonymous and safe, chat and messaging can allow you to say that is really inside you without anyone knowing it is you. The problem with only text-based communication is that some aspects do not mimmick real life.

Phone chat is the preferred place to start. Why? Talking on the phone is unique in that it offers an experience that is close enough to a real-life that the skills can apply to real-life sex, but anonymous enough to be safe and protect privacy.

Practicing with phone, a few top reasons

1. Pace: Talking on the phone gives you a safe way to experience sexual moments in “real time.” Online methods, like chat and email are good first steps, but they fall short when you try and take these skills into a real face-to-face encounter and don't have the pace of a real-time interaction.

2. Voice intimacy: Phone chat lines use the intimacy of voice, something that is missing in online communications. The voice is key, because it adds an element of real life to a situation that is otherwise fantasy.

3. Anonymity: Privacy and anonymity speak for themselves. Chat lines now add an extra layer between you and the person you are talking to. You control who gets your personal information.

4. Immediacy: There is no waiting for someone to get back to you. You are talking to someone within minutes if you want, but can also go at your own pace.

Phone is an ideal way to get the safety of anonymity, while hearing a real person's voice. It is half-way between reality, yet not as impersonal as online. Voice intimacy adds to the experience to increase the energy, while staying completely anonymous.

Find out the best places for phone chat in a safe, anonymous environment.

Author's Bio: 

Beatrice Fox has dedicated her life to makes sure we stay connected with other human beings. She has a BA in Psychology, MPH and sex therapy training from SFSI and in SAR in San Francisco. She is a sex educator and author of many articles and is a member of American Association of Sex Educators and has certificates in liberal art and erotology.

Read more about Bea at The Passion Collective