A divorce can feel as though there was a death in the family. In a sense, there was; the death of a relationship, but it is also an opportunity to get in touch with yourself and start living a new and better life.

Being prepared, especially during the divorce proceedings, can be extraordinarily beneficial. Once everything has been finalized, you can start putting the past behind you and moving forward; however, getting past the pain from a divorce can be challenging. Fortunately, there are remarkable and healthy ways to rebuild your life from the inside out.

Take Time to Reflect and Learn

Every marriage has times of conflict, but taking time to reflect on how you can learn from past mistakes and possibly unlock and see the unhappy relationship signs that were there, but maybe you did not want to see them at the time. Learning is growing, and that is a great place to start finding yourself after a painful divorce.

Keep a Journal

Writing down your feelings can help you process your emotions and allow the venting of your thoughts to be on paper rather than at your ex. Jotting down your thoughts just before going to bed can help empty the mind of all the emotional thoughts which could prevent you from having a good night’s sleep. Use a journal as a means of catharsis and a means to let your mind find some quiet.

Let Go

Sometimes it’s hard to let go when you have lived a certain way for so long. Not having a partner to take care of and spend time with can be devastating at first.

Let go of regrets and negative thinking - Holding on to “what ifs” and “if only I had done this” does you no good because the past is done. Ask yourself if your thoughts are positive or negative and if negative thoughts do arise, replace them with positive ones.

Let go of anger - Following a painful divorce, letting go of the anger, not just at your partner but also yourself, can feel almost impossible at times, but it can be done. It is essential to let go for yourself, but vital if you have children.

Being a Parent After Divorce

Co-parenting is a significant challenge because actions and words will also be affecting your children. Thankfully, there are positive ways to show etiquette while co-parenting. How you speak and behave toward your ex is not only seen but also felt by your children.

Be Kind to Yourself

Allowing yourself to grieve when the emotions arise is imperative to the healing process. Permit yourself to cry if you need to, but once the wave of emotions has settled, do something nice for yourself, like getting a massage or a facial.

Make a New Life for Yourself

Take this time to learn something new, like taking a cooking class or learning tai-chi. Maybe now is the perfect time to write a book, learn to quilt, paint or take up tennis? Ask yourself what you have always wanted to learn to do, and go for it!

Join a social networking group to interact with new people, such as a hiking group or a book club. Groups like these can be found by searching on the internet.

Live in the Present Moment

Learning to be mindful can be extremely enlightening. By simply taking a deep breath and refocusing on the present moment, which can be done during your daily activities, is a great way to quiet the mind.

Practicing mindfulness can be extremely beneficial when dealing with the tumultuous emotions that may arise during and after divorce.

Make Healthy Choices

The stress following a painful divorce can lead to unhealthy thinking and behaving, but you can change that by choosing to eat healthier, exercise, and get better quality sleep.

Healthy choices also include things to help your mind de-stress, such as meditation and yoga.

When you make healthy choices, you help both your body and mind heal and get stronger. You will have more energy and feel better about yourself, and in time, you will start feeling as if you have a new and happier life.

It is Alright to Ask For Help

Sometimes the stress resulting from a painful divorce is too much, and no matter how strong we want to be, we find ourselves struggling to stay afloat. Reaching for a life raft is ok to do and can give you the added support you need to get safely ashore.

Getting the help you need can be done through family, friends, joining a support group, or finding a therapist who can assist in your healing process.

Finding yourself after a painful divorce can feel like an impossible task, but it can be done. Divorce may feel like an end, but it is also an opportunity for a new beginning.

You are in the driver’s seat on the road to a new life. It is natural to reflect on the past, so long as you strive to live in the present. Be kind to yourself and let go of any negativity that is holding you back. Start taking positive steps on the road to living your new extraordinary life!

Author's Bio: 

Katie Tejada is a writer, editor, and former HR professional. She often covers developments in HR, business communication, recruiting, real estate and finance, but also enjoys writing about travel, interiors and events.