This emotionally charged topic usually generates tons of responses. Many people believe that they were justified in discarding their ex for all the right reasons. I’m sure that most of you have seen the Facebook post by the loud mouthed, blowhard guy that says the best thing he ever did was get rid of his ex, or the article that secretly tells you how to get over your ex in 5 easy steps. Unfortunately, these biased voices leave the thousands who secretly do want their ex, feeling foolish or too embarrassed to actually admit it.

For those of you looking to love your ex again, you are not alone. It is ok to want to rekindle that special something you had with your ex again. Although, it may make you feel as though you have to come out of the closet or join a private support group to profess it!

Don't get me wrong, there are relationships that you should leave and never go back to. The ex that belittles you, leaves you or your children in dangerous situations or that generally diminishes your quality of life.

But is that why most relationships end? No, most relationships end because the problems that plagued the relationship were never tended to. Somehow, over time, happy gave way to struggle that led the way to the end. It wasn't that some catastrophic event happened, the relationship just became more work than it was worth.

Now that reality has set in, you're alone, single and serial dating. Not exactly what you wanted after your breakup was it? Worse yet, you start a new relationship, only to find that the same problems followed you there as well. Realizing that you're starting over from scratch repeatedly can seem overwhelming. This repetitive cycle of serial dating never ends because you take your relationship baggage with you no matter who the catch of the day is. This cycle often leaves you wondering if what you had with your ex was as bad as you made it out to be. Get Your Ex Back By Not Surrounding Yourself With A**holes

Here are the first 3 things that have to happen if you want to get your ex back and have it be different than last time:

1. Acknowledge that the relationship with your ex still has meaning for you. That means if you are still thinking about them.
2. Identify what the problems were and what caused them. This step may be the most challenging because bringing up the old issues may cause one or both of you to feel overwhelmed and runaway. The hurt may be too deep to endure but if you want them back this step must be explored.
3. You must be willing to learn how to create a new relationship with your ex that starts with a clean and vibrant slate. If the first two steps in this process go well then put those old issues to rest. Refuse to live in the past because you can't look ahead if you're always looking over your shoulder.

Email me anytime at and ask me questions so I can help you in this area.

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Author's Bio: 

Lori Pinkerton
Author, Speaker, Coach

Lori Pinkerton specializes in helping woman break through the cycles of relationship disappointments and missed opportunities.
With her innovative process, Lori teaches women how to “grab” the advantages in dating and love.

She helps women rediscover themselves and their dreams. This is easier to say and harder to do. Knowing this, Lori’s coaching products and services take learning one step further by showing women “how to” use these discoveries to have

the relationships most only dream of!

Lori Pinkerton has made a career out of her passion—helping every woman, no matter who they are, create irresistible connections on their dates and ultimately find the love of their life.

Her success caught the eye of TV’s 180 Life and Style Makeovers, a national television show that premiered in the fall of 2010 on the Oxygen channel, and the first show of its kind to account for the whole woman. The producers invited her to share her secrets with America. As the show’s dating and relationships expert, Lori teaches the women how to breathe new love into their lives and she helps women create relationships that leave them feeling wanted instead of feeling wanting.

Her proven tools get to the heart of what matters—showing women how to create the dates they dream of and experience an intimacy that most have given up on ever finding.

Lori doesn’t believe in settling—that’s why she took the scary step of leaving an unfulfilling marriage after 23 years. Tired of her depression and unhappiness, she abruptly took her perfectly imperfect life off autopilot.

Raised by nine moms and three dads before the age of ten, Lori spent her young adult life building a castle of stability around herself.

“I grew up very poor. My granny used to say all the time, ‘If we just had money, everything would be great,’” she says. But once Lori reached the top of that castle—surrounded by multiple houses, a successful construction business, and a model family—she looked down and wondered, “Why do I feel so empty? How come I never feel good enough?”

Lori would find an answer in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a tool for re-envisioning herself beyond the self-imposed limits that had kept her confined for so many years. After studying under NLP expert Richard Bandler, she became a certified trainer and began helping others recognize and act on their vast potential in their personal and professional lives. As a life coach she was wildly successful.

But the now-foreign world of dating made her head spin. She admits,“It took me a year after the divorce to even start dating.” Then the idea to use her business and life-coaching experience in her dating hit her like a ton a bricks. She started Get Up and Date to support women in finding quality dates that lead to lasting love ~ because she understands that settling is too often an easy alternative to fighting for what you want.

This hard-working author, speaker, and coach—now has expanded her reach to help couples reunite and stay together not as the broken shell of what used to be but a TRUE expression of what love is. For more information and transformation as a couple check out her ground breaking programs at: