How To Grow Your Marriage: Building the Marriage of Your Dreams Together

There was a connection between the two of you that grew into something special because you got married. You both worked hard to build your relationship but then with all too many, once they get married, they stop. I have to admit that always confuses me. You have a great time dating, the engagement cannot have been too bad otherwise you would never have got married, so why stop! Why do couples stop communicating? Why do couples stop spending quality time together? Is it any wonder that far too many couples drift apart and the divorce rate soars if no-one is prepared to work at the basics. Why stop enjoying each others company? If you really want to grow your marriage you have to nurture and guide it along the years, do not just discard everything that drew you together.

If you are going to grow your marriage you have to get used to the idea that there is no more I, you have now become, US. This does not mean that you have to give up your identity. As well as being equal halves in the relationship you are separate individual, each with your own needs and emotions. As well as your looks it was your individual natures that drew you together when you first me, so do not try change each other into something that you are not, you did not marry a clone of yourself, you married an individual. Do not lose site of the fact that it is your individual natures, you different lives, ideas, emotions and needs that make the marriage that keep it alive.

Get to know your partner, get inside their heads so that you know what makes them tick. This means being open and honest and letting another have access to your private spaces. You need to share your lives, needs and emotions. If you need help, do not be afraid to ask for support, that is what your partner is there for and that is what you are there for. Do not be ashamed to let your partner know how you feel, the flip side to that is hiding your emotions away until the point that it becomes a problem, which is not the healthiest of ways to grow your marriage.

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One of the great certainties of the world, apart from death and taxes is that everything changes and there are no exceptions to that rule. That means that you will change, your partner will change and your relationship will change. Change can be a scary prospect, especially if one of you has become far too comfortable with the way things are, it does not have to be like this, be totally honest with each other, communicate effectively and be prepared to compromise. Your lives will change through work commitments, buying a house, kids and it will affect you both in different ways, share these changes with your partner, it will bind you closer and stop you drifting apart. Change is not something to be resisted, as you both grow in your marriage your plans and needs will change, be happy in that as it shows that you have a healthy, maturing relationship.

You need to develop a flexible approach to dealing with any problems. Always approach issues calmly and rationally, diplomacy by screaming and playing the blame game tends not to help grow a marriage, it is more likely to wilt it. Deal with each issue one at a time and work for a solution that you are both happy with, if you are both happy then it strengthens the relationship. Try to view things from your partners perspective as there is no guarantee that they will look at things the same way that you do. One of the great things about talking to each other is that any issues can be identified early on and dealt with quickly, before they become a problem, so please do not ever stop talking to one another.

Once a week would be best. If you have kids send them of to family for a few hours. If you have any other commitments, well, this one takes priority over everything. Do not ever forget that the most important part of your relationship, your marriage, your commitment to each other is you two. At some point your kids will move away but you will still be together for hopefully decades to come. You must spend quality time with each other, not only will it strengthen the physical bond between you, not only will your you time relax you but maybe, just maybe, you might even enjoy yourself and take even more pleasure in each others company.

You can grow your marriage, there is no great secret to it, you just have to keep working at it for the rest of your lives. I say work but being there for your loved one, being their support, letting them know how much you value them, building a lifetime of golden memories together, that hardly sounds like work now, does it?

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You meet the love of your life, you get to know each other more and a relationship starts to develop, you are both convinced that you partner is the one for you and you get engaged, you have both survived the dreaded cold feet syndrome, you have got married and now you both live happily ever after. It would be great if it worked out that way but it does not. Building the marriage of your dreams will require that both of you work at nurturing your relationship, one of you cannot do it all, you are a partnership so you will have to work together. I say work, but is making your loved one happy really work?

You need to have realistic expectations of your marriage. Forget what you see at the movies or on T.V, you need a real world view of what you want from the marriage. If you enter married life with a vision of some great romantic ideal you are going to be disappointed.

If you want to build the marriage of your dreams then begin with honest open communication, share your feelings and emotions, get into your partners head and find out what makes them work. You are supposed to be their best friend, you are their unconditional support when they have problems, if you do not know what they are going through then how can you help and support them. If you do not talk to each other then you are no longer sharing each others lives, you will drift apart and probably add to the divorce statistics. If you talk then you are continually strengthening your bond with each other and if problems do arise then you can deal with them before they become a problem. Life touches you both in different ways and you need to bring this richness of experience into the marriage, along with your partners it will help your marriage develop with new experiences and ideas.

Love is a wonderful emotion but sadly it has a finite life. You can reignite the spark but it will not last everyday for the whole of your married life. If you want to see the years together then you have not only like your partner, you have to be their very best friend. It has been found that couples whose relationships are based on friendship are less likely to divorce as they tend to be happier together.

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O.K so you might be a married couple but you still remain individuals with your own wants and needs and sometimes those wants and needs will clash. Do not ever play the blame game, do not shout and scream at each other, approach each problem calmly and rationally, if that means that you need to calm down first then do so. Work at each problem one at a time and always look to find a compromise that you are both happy with, it will strengthen your relationship and get you into the habit of dealing with problems together.

Give your marriage some kind of shared focus that takes you into the future so set yourselves some joint goals. Your goals can focus on kids, careers, possessions, interests and vacations. As you achieve goals keep adding new ones, if you are always looking to what you will achieve together in the future it will give your marriage a sense of stability and longevity.

You must spend quality time together. This can be anything from vacations, going to classes or a movie, going for a walk or a game of golf, or even just curling up in front of the T.V together. Time spent together with none of the day to day distractions brings you closer, it relieves stress and it gives you an all important opportunity to just enjoy each others company, you might even enjoy it. You need you time once a week. If you have kids then send them of to grandparents or aunts and uncles. If other commitments start to loom then put them of, there is nothing in your lives as important as your relationship is. Your kids will leave home but you will be together for I hope decades to come, so look after each other and enjoy yourselves, you did when you first started dating so why stop now.

Do not forget to spend a bit of me time as well. You both need time to have some space for yourself to pursue your own interests, it also has the side benefit of giving you new things to talk about.

Building the marriage of your dreams will take work and along the way you will probably have to compromise. Take care of yourself and your partner. Give your love, attention and understanding without expecting anything in return. Be honest and open with each other. Be there for your partner when they need you and when you face difficulties then face them together. Be grateful for what you have and enjoy a long and happy life together.

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Do you really want to divorce or save your marriage if you can? Divorce is never pretty and is rarely the best option. In fact, short of mental or physical abuse situations where counseling could not heal the broken marriage, then there really isn't a good reason to divorce.

So, how can you save your marriage and put off the divorce? Well, what are you willing to do to keep your marriage?

Are you willing to fight for to keep your marriage? I'm not talking about fighting with your spouse to get your way in the marriage. I'm talking about humbling yourself and putting aside your interest for the sake of your marriage.

Are you willing to stop arguing to save your marriage? It's difficult to resist hammering your spouse on any and every issue when you are tired and frustrated. You can find yourself arguing over dinner plans, family visits, purchases or anything else. Can you commit to letting your spouse argue with his or herself for the time being?

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Can you ask your spouse to forgive you to save your marriage? If you have not been perfect (and none of us are) there are probably a few areas you have let your spouse down in your marriage recently. Have you been unfaithful? Have you been a nightmare to live with? Have you used your tongue or bank account to punish your spouse for making your married life difficult? Whatever, you have been doing or not doing, can you bring yourself to asking for forgiveness?

Would your marriage survive if you asked for a truce? It's hard to save a marriage when you are in the heat of battle. I'm sure your spouse is probably as tired and frustrated as you are and could benefit from a break in trying to bring your marriage to an end. Why not ask him or her to put things on hold and see how things are 2 months from now.

Is forgiving your spouse or asking for forgiveness in areas of broken vows, trust, or confidence something that has been missing? If you or your spouse has been unfaithful it doesn't mean that divorce is inevitable. If you want to save your marriage, it's just another obstacle. You won't be the first couple able to save their marriage under this stressful situation.

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When married couples drift apart they often seek out a divorce. They look at what they had and where they are now and they come to the realization that the closeness and emotional intimacy has disappeared. Instead of putting in the effort to fix the problems, they hide behind the idea of a separation and then eventual divorce. It doesn't have to go this way at all. Marriage is worth fighting for and if you love your spouse, you need to get busy showing them that. You can change the future for you and your spouse but you need to be determined and focused on doing so. This issue isn't going to correct itself. You have to step up to the plate and take matters into your own hands.

Understanding why married couples drift apart can often be the key to changing the dynamic and getting closer again. In many marriages, once children arrive the couple starts pushing each others' needs to the back burner. They get so caught up in being the best parents they possibly can, that they forget about one another. By the end of the day, after working and tending to their children they are both so exhausted that they don't even put in any effort to talk or interact. Over time this has a negative effect on the relationship and the couple feels like strangers.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Reconnecting with your spouse is all about spending more quality time with them. A marriage can't thrive unless it's being nurtured. You have to make the effort to arrange moments for you and your partner to have uninterrupted time just to be together. This may include having to plan for childcare or maybe just planning time after the children have gone to bed for the night. It's all about finding opportunities to be just a couple as opposed to co-parents.

Talking to one another is something you do on a daily basis but you need to take it to the next level again. When is the last time the two of you had an open and honest discussion about the state of your relationship? Are you two in tune with what's going on in each others' lives? You need to focus on communicating openly with one another again. Think of this as a chance to get to know your partner all over again. You may discover some things about them that you didn't know or you'll be reminded of what drew you to them in the first place.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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