How to Handle a Partner With a Wandering Eye

Relationships are built on trust, but it can be very difficult to trust your partner if he or she has a frequently wandering eye. However, if your partner has a wandering eye, your relationship is not necessarily doomed. There are ways you can remedy the situation.

It is important to realize that, as humans, we are hard-wired to notice things of beauty, regardless of whether it is something in nature, a work of art or an attractive human being. There is no harm in an occasional glance, but if your partner gawks at other people he or she finds attractive, actually comments about others’ appearances or actually flirts with other people he or she finds attractive, these actions are disrespectful to you and your relationship. These behaviors can potentially leave the partner without the wandering eye feeling unappreciated, threatened and insecure—a recipe for disaster.

It is vital to objectively determine whether your partner is simply, and harmlessly, noticing an attractive person, or whether they truly have a wandering eye, and perhaps are even lusting after another person. If your partner does have a wandering eye, it is important to remember that this is not a problem with you, it is a problem with your partner. No matter how attractive or good-looking you may be, if a person has a wandering eye, they will continue to look at other individuals. Therefore, keeping one’s self-esteem is critical.

If your partner’s eye wanders, it is extremely important to address the issue head-on. In a calm manner, communicate your feelings to your partner. Let them know how their wandering eye is affecting you. Allow for the possibility that your partner may not realize the extent of the problem, or realize that there is a problem at all. Expressing this in a calm manner can lay the groundwork for you to work on this problem as a couple. Once your partner is aware of this, remember that he or she may still require occasional reminders.

If your partner fails to recognize the seriousness of the issue and you are not already married, you should proceed with caution, as this could lead to more serious problems down the road.
If you are already married, you and your spouse may require qualified, third-party help to properly address this issue.