It can be quite a shock when you realise that your parent is narcissistic, and that your childhood was fraught with narcissistic abuse. Generally you will identify that your parent has narcissistic personality disorder traits when you are undergoing the healing of future narcissistic relationships. The reason this occurs is because a distinct abuse pattern emerges.

The characteristics of a narcissistic parent are that this parent was self-absorbed and made your relationship with them all about him or herself. This parent had little awareness of,or took little or no care towards your emotional needs, placed high expectations on you, and or treated you dismissively and or abusively.

The narcissistic parent tried to hold you accountable for his or her bad feelings. You may have been subject to narcissistic projection, whereby this parent told you that you were never good enough, you were defective, unworthy and the cause of his or her distress.

As a result of your parent’s narcissistic personality disorder traits, your boundaries were crushed, you suffered severe lack of belief in yourself, and in future relationships you tried to adapt yourself to other people’s needs, rather than your own, in order earn safety, love and acceptance.

Having suffered abuse from a parent, means that you will have a tendency to ignore your feelings and inner truth, have a high tolerance to inappropriate behaviour, and you will run a large risk of entering into future narcissistic relationships.

If you have experienced adult narcissistic relationships it is vital to examine your childhood programming. Where you controlled and intimidated as a child? Where your emotional needs unmet? Where you guilted, confused and slandered into acting as a narcissistic parent wished?

Identifying that a parent has narcissistic tendencies is a catalyst to your healing, as is developing self-worth, self-love and healthy boundary function. In order to overcome and heal from narcissistic abuse it is vital to create self-worth and know how to set boundaries. This may mean that you set firm boundaries with the narcissistic parent, (if they are still living) and be prepared to honour yourself and break ties if these boundaries are not respected.

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