How to Know that your Relationship is Over

Here’s the funny thing about relationships and breakups: we often don’t notice that a relationship we’re in isn’t going to last until it’s already too late. And to make things even worse, after a decent amount of time has passed since this unpleasant emotional event, our friends and acquaintances usually start telling us they knew all along that the two of us weren’t actually good for each other, and that the parting was pretty much inevitable. We’re feeling like complete idiots while trying to figure it out why it was so obvious to others and not to us, and we’re utterly annoyed because it appears that everyone knew it was over - well, except us. What can be somewhat comforting about the whole thing is cognition that you’re not the only one - people, in general, are overly subjective while in a relationship and can’t see for themselves that things aren’t exactly working the way they are supposed to. There are, however, certain warning signs that can help you analyze retrospectively why all your transgender dates left you at some point, for instance, but you can also learn how to prevent some unpleasant situations in the future and improve your dating wisdom in general. You don’t have any illusions about your partner A complete idealization is never good, and there’s no doubt about it, yet the partners who somewhat idealize each other are more likely to stay in a relationship. This usually understands that you have a better opinion about your partner’s looks, kindness and other relevant attributes than he/she has. If you, on the other hand, believe that your partner is average by all items, this could mean that your relationship is in trouble. You think you’re better than your partner This one is directly related to what we’ve mentioned above and is often showcased by unnecessary criticism, a rather defensive attitude etc. On the other hand, one partner usually has this need to explain to the other that his/her problems are more significant in a relationship, while various forms of the passive-aggression might be present as well. You’re considering alternatives If you don’t have a problem at all when it comes to imagining a possible alternative to your current partner, even though you don’t actually plan to replace them anytime soon, this is an obvious sign there’s something wrong with your relationship. You feel like you’re stuck Feeling like you’re stuck if often accompanied by the sense that you want to go out, but don’t know how, or you’re simply afraid of a post-breakup depression and the possibility of having to deal with other similar feelings. This is why you’re holding it off and perhaps hope that everything will magically sort out. The truth is that if you want to go out, you’re eventually going to do it and it’s just a matter of time. Still, if this is your only problem at the moment and you believe that everything else works okay, there is a slight chance this is just a current crisis. You aren’t satisfied with your relationship We all have those occasional crises in our relationships but if the feeling is constant and persevering, it’s very likely that the relationship is going to end eventually. Keep in mind that situation could be just the opposite, and that you might be the one sitting in the dark without realizing that the partner is dissatisfied with how the things work and just waits for the right moment to suggest a breakup. This usually happens after a while and is followed by some of the other signs from this list. Your relationship is full of drama Believe it or not, the most successful relationships are the ones that are completely drama-free. And while dramatic downturns might give you the sense of certain dynamics, you have to understand that healthy dynamics are actually achieved through mutual activities and willingness to try new stuff together. In this sense, clinging on to sentences such as “Other couples fight too” isn’t a valid excuse and thus won’t save your relationship.