How To Let Your Husband Know He Hurt You: How To Make Your Husband Feel Bad For Hurting You

Do you find that you have a pattern of concealing your negative feelings from your man when he isn't treating you the way you wish he would?

When we women love a man deeply and feel that his feelings for us are not as strong as ours, we feel A LOT of intensely scary feelings, most of which are negative. We are bitter, sad, scared, anxious and even angry.

We also feel like we have to hold these emotions inside. We feel we have to stuff them down and keep them under wraps so that our man doesn't get turned off by our draining emotions.

We don't want to burden him with our pain, fearing it will all be too much for him and he will leave.

So we ignore our feelings and needs and start to busy ourselves by doing for him. We start to act like the most loving, able and hardworking girlfriends and wives that ever lived all in an attempt to quiet our negative voices and make him love us again.

We cater to our men by giving them things and slaving to do what we can to make their lives better. We labor in the name of love, trying so hard to look like the nicest woman that ever lived-the kind of woman that a man would be crazy to lose!

We either pretend that nothing is wrong and force a smile when around him, only to cry when we are alone and safe to feel our true pain in private.

Or we start trying to manage and control our feelings by managing and controlling the relationship. In between breaking our backs to please him, we coolly and calmly express our dissatisfaction with his behavior and take every unassuming moment we can to tell him how ineffectual he is as a boyfriend or husband.

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The problem is that these two alternatives to expressing our true feelings are off-putting to men.

A man doesn't want you to "grin and bear it". He doesn't want you to lie to him and act like everything is fine while continuing to be a loving wife.

See, it's impossible to fully hide your feelings from him. Your discontent will show it's ugly face somehow. Your body needs to dispose of these feelings. They aren't healthy to hold onto. You may start acting passive aggressive or manipulative with your actions just to release them.

And he also doesn't want you to act like a calm and collected "cold fish" while you constantly tell him that he is messing up in the relationship. This will make him feel worthless and unimportant to you.

He wants you to share your feelings. He wants you to stop pretending and start SHOWING HIM HOW MUCH power he has over your heart.

He wants you to TRUST him enough to give him the opportunity to make things better between the both of you.

He wants you to talk to him about YOUR feelings, not about HIS shortcomings.

So how do you do this?

First, you must give yourself permission to feel everything you feel and embrace the fact that you and your feelings are not perfect.

You aren't perfect, no one is. And thank goodness for that. Everyone's imperfections are beautiful. We fall in love with movie characters with serious flaws and with friends whose quirks touch our hearts.

No one has a perfect attitude either. Every women suffers inside at some point and has deep needs that must be met.

I tried for YEARS to appear emotionally perfect. I tried sooo hard to keep a smile on my face and a giggle between most my sentences when my marriage was falling apart and all I really wanted to do was scream in his face, "I'm so lonely and I hate you so much for making me love you and for treating me like crapola!"

I didn't want to "annoy" him with my heavy emotions and I also didn't want him to know that I cared THAT MUCH.

So many women do this and if you do, honey, you are NOT alone.

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Second thing you can do is to get brave and talk with him about your feelings!

Take a moment when you are with him and feeling strong in your convictions, and share your feelings.

Keep it about YOU and what YOU feel instead about him and all his faults.

Make a point to talk from your heart instead of your "adult self"

Instead of rationally expressing your feelings like you are pitching an idea to a team of office workers, risk exposing your vulnerability to him.

In fact, if you aren't feeling "on the verge of tears" you are probably guarding your heart too much when talking to him.

So, the third thing you can do is "bleed out" your vulnerability in front of him.

Look at him, connect with his eyes, touch his hand, and tell him how much he means to you. Tell him why you love him and what his love truly means to you.

Allow your "emotional dam" to crack and then to slowly break. Allow yourself to warm-up to him and let your numb, rational feelings to melt into a raw sensitivity.

To do this you have to trust him. You have to think about his "good side", about the positive moments you two have shared, and about the wonderful things he has done for you. (Every man, no matter how toxic, has some good qualities.)

Once you feel more vulnerable, share your needs with him. Tell him what you want from a relationship. Again, don't point out his inability to provide, just stick to expressing your desires in love.

Now...

Your man may close off. He may shut down and say nothing. He may even get grouchy. Don't worry.

See, your emotions may overwhelm him and make him feel vulnerable. He doesn't want to feel this way, it's too revealing to him as a "man". Your emotions may also make him feel inadequate to helping you. Men want to be knights in shining armor, they don't want to watch a woman experiencing pain because of them. But their initial feelings of being overwhelmed and possibly inadequate will subside.

If you patiently accept ANY reaction he gives you and make things about you needing to "bleed out your feelings" and not about attacking him for shutting down or pushing him to open up, he will come to you eventually and share his feelings with you. He will do what he can to be there for you once he "emotionally recuperates" and feels less incompetent.

When he does start to talk to you about your feelings (whether it's right away or after a bit of time) be prepared to be surprised. Allow yourself to TRUST in what he has to say, in his feelings for you and in his deep desire to please you.

Help guide him toward a solution to your hurt feelings. And don't forget to also ask him what you can do to help the relationship grow, too! He may know what he needs from you but has been too timid to ask.

You may be quite happy with the way things turn out and the deep bond of emotional closeness that may begin to form between you both.

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Emotional abuse recovery is never too late for anyone. You can still turn your life around and walk away from any abusive relationship and heal at the same time. This is a process that doesn't just take overnight but with continued effort, commitment and support, you're well on your way to the path of recovery. You have to first understand that you can't simply put the blame on your partner and expect everything else to be all right. You have to take full responsibility for what has happened and start to rebuild your life one step at a time.

Emotional abuse undermines your worth as a human being. It prevents you from growing as a person and never being able to put your talents and capabilities to full use. It is like being stuck in traffic without any option but to stick it out and slowly move along. You are here because you chose to do something about your situation and finally take control. Here are important emotional abuse recovery tips to help you:

Confide with a trusted friend or relative

It is never easy to journey through recovery by yourself. Telling someone whom you matter to will help you cope better. Explain what you are going through and listen to their sound advice. Remember that in the end it is only you who can decide for yourself and bring in the change.

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Build your confidence and self esteem

Emotionally abused people feel robbed of their personality and well being. Start building your confidence by engaging in activities you have always loved doing. Outdoor activities, sports, community service or simply exercising regularly or meditating will help in feeding your self esteem.

Start feeling empowered today

You must believe that you are now in control and on your way to recovery. Positive thinking only brings positive energy and results. You can start with smiling more often and find joy in your blessings.

You will soon notice a difference within yourself by simply employing what you have learned so far. This is a process that involves more work and effort but would definitely be all worth it. Begin the journey to take your life back today.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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I'll get straight to the point when it comes to saving your marriage. You cannot maintain a healthy marriage or save a dying one by drowning your spouse in endless self-sacrifice. I know this because I was in a similar situation before and I was lucky to get myself out such a horrible state.

Let me explain what I mean by this. Trying to talk your spouse out of getting a divorce by reaching compromises is not a good way of saving a marriage. This might be okay if you are in a healthy marriage that may have fights here and there, but it most certainly does not work when your marriage is in serious trouble and your spouse wants to get a divorce.

Take my situation for instance. My husband wanted to get a divorce whilst I wanted to save it. He was very clear that he wanted to get a divorce and when I continually try to talk him out of it, it only seemed like I was begging. I made it seem that I was only trying to reach a compromise every time. This endless self-sacrifice to save your marriage will not work when your marriage is clearly dying.It only takes you look desperate.

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So what should you do in this situation? You need to learn how to play the game according to the rules. Avoid begging and pleading at all costs because it will not bring back the love you once had when performing this desperate action. Don't forget that people always want what they can't have so you have to show that you are independent and inaccessible at times. Once I learned this I made my first step in saving my marriage.

The key to taking this step is to learn to not beg and plead to your spouse. This is the first step on the way to making you a more attractive person - people want what they can't have. If your spouse thinks you are easily "achievable", in his or her subconscious, this will make you a less attractive person. Thus, what you need to do is to stop acting this way and do the opposite - play a bit more hard to get in order to shake your spouse's self confidence and make yourself more attractive.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Infidelity doesn't always have to be a physical relationship. Instead, it can be played out entirely in the mind. Even though the object of your affections may not know that you're having lustful thoughts about them, the person is betraying their mate just by thinking what he or she is thinking. Are you really so bored with your real life partner that you prefer to spend your waking hours thinking of someone else? Is your relationship really so shallow that there's nothing else to fill your thoughts with? Emotional infidelity can be just as painful to your spouse as physical infidelity is, and it can cause your marriage to fall apart, even if you don't really want it to.

It may seem like what you think doesn't matter, but as you continue to dwell more and more on your fantasy lover's virtues, you'll undoubtedly start comparing those virtues to those of your wife. At the beginning of any relationship, there is lots of romance and a couple feels like they are joining into one individual. However, as time goes by, the union can begin humdrum, if you let it. It's important to keep your marriage fresh and alive by doing new things, showing more consideration for each other, spending quality time together, and surprising your spouse occasionally with something out of the ordinary.

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There are basically only two reasons for one partner to lust over someone else. Either that spouse is bored with his or her significant other, or the marriage is beyond saving. Your spouse will know when you begin to turn your emotions inward towards another person instead of projecting them towards him or her. They'll feel your emotional absence just as much as they'd notice your physical absences. It will cause them to wonder exactly what's going on, and if you're in a position to be having a physical relationship with someone else, that's what they're going to suspect even if it really isn't taking place.

While you don't have to think about your spouse constantly, substituting another love interest into your thoughts and having an emotional affair is never going to solve anything and will only do further damage to a marriage that's already ailing.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here

Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com