How to Make the No Contact Rule Work

If you’ve been dumped and you’re trying to move on with your life, it can be very difficult. Maybe you’ve heard of the No Contact Rule.

It basically involves cutting off all contact with your ex boyfriend and focusing on yourself for a while. It can be quite frightening if you’re eager to save your relationship. After all, how can cutting off all contact bring the two of you together?

Well, first of all, it gives you the time to focus on yourself for a bit. If you’re like I was after my break up, you’re probably not quite yourself these days. If you can distance yourself from your ex, you’ll be in a much better mental place to pull yourself together without doing something you’ll later regret (I’ve been there myself).

And secondly, it will give him the space to actually start to miss you. If you back off from your ex boyfriend, he’ll get to feel your loss in his life. If you are constantly in touch with him, he essentially gets all the benefits of having you around, but without any of the commitments that come with having a girlfriend. So, if you do a little vanishing act, he’ll really get to appreciate having you around.

No Contact isn’t easy though. You really have to commit to doing it. It often helps if you have some sort of friend who you can talk to openly about this. Let them know that you’re going to keep yourself from talking to your ex boyfriend for a whole month and have regular check ins with them.

Tell them how you’re feeling and if you’re having any urges to talk to him. They can encourage you and offer you valuable advice during any moments of weakness you might have. It should go without saying that this friend should be someone you can trust with a lot of personal information.

It will also help to motivate you if you have some sort of incentive to do No Contact. Sure, you might want to save your relationship, but it will help even more if you decide you’re going to reward yourself with something you enjoy at the end of the No Contact period.

Maybe you can get yourself something nice, go on a trip you’ve wanted to take, or do anything else that really speaks to you.

No Contact can be extremely challenging, but it is also a great way to overcome a break up. Even though it is hard to do, if you set yourself up for success by getting the right support and incentives, you can make it easier.