How to Overcome Self-Sabotage

Greetings!

Especially for service-oriented business owners navigating business expansion, career change, and retirement, self-sabotage holds the potential to create frustrated havoc instead of joyous satisfaction. From my perspective, based on my own experience and decades of observations working with mature service-oriented business owners who are stepping into new realms, the core obstacle is simple and fairly easy to overcome once an effective shift in a common habit is changed.

What’s that obstacle? Over-processing. How to overcome it? Stop delving into what might go wrong and take action before you turn your brain and your business into Velveeta! Yuck! Receive those small, negative internal messages as signals of impending increase of what you’ve desired enough to invest in. Your subconscious mind at that time is being obedient to your ego self’s attempt to maintain the old status quo instead of letting go of what has been. Embrace what is to be instead, and – most importantly – take the inspired action steps to put it into place.

Don’t give over your power to the voices of internal haters; life is challenging enough without holding yourself back for nothing. Most worries are imagined and never come into being. Think about it: What things have consumed your attention with worry regarding, “OMG, what if________ happens?” How many times did it actually occur? See what I mean? Stop tripping over nothing.

If you’re visual, make it small in your mind’s eye. Literally. Create a picture of what you’re worried about, shrink it down to minuscule, put it inside of a helium balloon and let it float away. Then immediately fill your vision with what you DO want. (Yes, for those who recognize the process: transmutation at its most practical.) That type of visualization is one technique of many to silence or at least diminish the power of self-sabotage. Discover what works best for you. But do it.

FEEL the passionate connection to your desire. If you don’t feel it, then it isn’t in alignment with your purpose, but rather an ego-driven imposition superimposed by outdated conditioning. Don’t waste your time pondering it. Get in touch instead with what you DO feel passionate about. Then go about taking the inspired action steps to put it into place.

Of course there’s a difference between a clear indication that something is wrong for you and the anxious feeling of stepping outside of your comfort zone. Especially for sensitive service-oriented business owners, huge feelings of impending dread coupled with negative physical symptoms in your body clearly let you know when you do need to halt. That’s different than those nagging internal mosquitoes telling you you’re not good enough or you’ve never done anything right, or you’ve mixed stripes with flowers again so you’re not worthy to be seen in public. Know yourself and know the difference. It’s clear.

Per usual, my perspective is appropriate for mature adults who take responsibility for handling their “stuff,” and not applicable for individuals just figuring out who they are, what they want, or brand new to self-awareness. Do the early work first; often a career guidance counselor is helpful in assessing what professions are in alignment with your skills. A qualified mental health professional can support your therapeutic process in addressing any experiences that have created the conditioning that traps you into a box that feels out of alignment. A seasoned mentor and community business resource references can help guide you in your early steps. Mature individuals have already done that work, so may confidently let go of those inner voices that detract from efficient decision-making during business expansion, career change, and retirement. Anxiety needn’t thwart you.

In summary, for mature, responsible adults, halting the process of self-sabotage is uncomplicated: Stop buying into your internal negative feelings and take inspired action instead. If you’ve already done your internal work you don’t need to keep spinning the same wheels. If I tweeted, I’d tweet: Let go the status quo, and take action, yo!

Blessings on your path,
Dr. Renee