How to Save Marriage After the Loss of a Child: Can Marriage Survive the Loss of a Child

How to Save Marriage After the Loss of a Child: Can Marriage Survive the Loss of a Child

This is a mother or father's greatest fear -- to lose a child. Not one person could explain the pain and anguish that you go through when faced with a situation such as this. That is why many people are faced with the added stress of how to save marriage after such an awful thing happens. On the day that your child is born, you don't envision ever burying him or her.

Many people think that when a child is lost to death that the couple's marriage dies too. It's not true -- there are studies that have proved that only 16% of these marriages will end. Most of the time when these people could not save their marriage, they felt that losing their kid was one of the main reasons that the marriage died.

Sometimes, just having their spouse by their side to go through the pain with helps to ease it a little. It has also been said that the first six months after losing a kid is the most sensitive time for a couple, this seems to be when most couples split up, they feel that there is no marriage to save anymore. There are a few things that can help to keep your marriage together and sometimes they will even help to make the marriage stronger.

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1. Educate yourself on the stages of grief that a person will go through after a loss like this. There are 5 stages, they are: denial, anger, shock, depression, and acceptance. The longest stage is depression, this is the most important and this will be when your spouse needs you the most to help you get to the next stage.

2. Remember that of the human race females and males will be very different in their grief. Men of course will do everything they can not to show that they are hurting. Women will be able to show how they feel. Be sure that you talk to one another and keep your lines of communication open.

3. Don't sit there and point the finger at each other. If you have lost your child at the time that it was born or an accident or even if the child was sick you have to remember that it is nobody's fault. Try to keep in mind that you and your spouse need each other right now and should not blame one another.

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Saving your marriage is not always easy, but it is well worth the effort! The first step in saving your marriage is for both of you to admit that there is a problem. This is absolutely the hardest thing to do. Once you both admit that there is a problem, you can easily move on to fixing the problem, and have a happy marriage again!

In order to save your marriage, you have to find out what is wrong, and why! Your marriage wasn't always like this, so what changed? When you were first married, it was exciting. It was new. The bills weren't piling up yet, you probably didn't have kids yet, and there was a lot less stress for the both of you.

In order to save your marriage, and have a happy marriage again, you have to find the problem and fix it - NOW! Don't procrastinate, in hopes of your problems resolving themselves. They rarely do. If you put it off any longer, they will continue to escalate, probably resulting in divorce.

You both have to sit down and calmly talk about your problems. Both of you should openly discuss your thoughts on how to fix the problem. Don't be defensive towards each other, as this will only lead to more problems. You both have to be supportive. By really listening to each other, and understanding each other's wants and needs, you can work out a solution together.

All marriages have their problems. And when couples know how to address these problems, and fix them, their marriage grows stronger.

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When things just don't seem the same as they were in your marriage, then please do something about it immediately. There is something wrong, and if you want to save your marriage then take action now, before it is too late.

If there seems to be tension between you and your spouse, then the best way to find out what is wrong is to simply ask, and then figure out how to solve the problem. It could be that every day pressures are all that is causing tension between the two of you.

However, it IS causing tension, so something should be done about it before real resentment sets in. Having children is great and are a real joy to have around. But, they are a lot of work, and can cause you and your spouse to drift apart.

It could be your job too, that is making life become a little unbearable, so look into that aspect as well. Maybe you have a circle of friends that you really like being with. Well, it might be that you enjoy being with them too much and your spouse feels left out of things. Take time out from your friends sometimes, spend time with your spouse instead, and save your marriage.

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Now, what you should do is sit down and talk to your spouse if any of the above have become problems in your lives. If the children are taking up too much of your time, then get help from a friend or family member. Have someone in to baby-sit while you and your spouse spend some quality time together.

If it is your jobs that are taking up too much of your alone time, then make an effort to cut down on your work load, so that you can spend some time alone together at home. It might do you the world of good to sometimes take a few days off and just get away from it all, without your cell phones. That way, NO ONE can get hold of you and disturb your time together.

Whatever the reason for your uneasy feeling you have at the moment, communicate with each other as much as possible, and save your marriage. You won't know what the problems are if you don't talk about them. Also, don't let every day pressures come between you and your spouse - show that your love for each other is really strong, and conquer those daily pressures together.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Why do a lot of women leave their husbands and file for divorce now a days? Compared to the old days, the number of these women is significantly higher. There are many reasons for these actions.

- The husbands don't bother to put effort into making the marriage work. They feel that working hard to earn a living is their contribution to the marriage, and forget that marriage needs more work (physical as well as emotional) than that to survive and flourish. It doesn't have to be big or expensive; a rose, a box of chocolate or a nice card can go a long way in making the wives happy.

- The husbands don't show affection, don't demonstrate their love to the wives. They believe their wives know that they love them, that's why they still stay married to their wives, so there is no need to say it out, and don't realize that people, especially woman, need and want to be reassured of their spouse's love time and time again.

- The husbands don't pay attention or listen with half an ear to the wives when they want to talk to the husbands. That makes the wives feel their husbands don't care enough about them or don't respect them.

- The husbands are abusive.

- The husbands are lazy, don't try to earn a living to support the family. That makes the wives feel their husbands are uncaring, selfish, useless, and lose respect then love for their husbands.

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- The husbands are alcoholic and/or drug-addicted and refuse to get help. That makes the wives feel their husbands don't care or love them enough.

- The husbands are gold-diggers. The wives realize the husbands don't love them for themselves.

- The husbands are not able to give the wives what they need and want.

- The husbands' status in life and wealth go down, for the wives value material things more than love.

- During the course of their marriage, the wives start making more money and become more famous than the husbands. Many times, these in turn give the wives a superior feeling, and eventually they lose respect then love for their husbands, no matter that it is no fault of their husbands.

- The husbands cheat on the wives.

- The wives are attracted to or fall in love with someone else.

Etc.

Whatever reasons that the wives decide to leave the husbands for and file for divorce, the main thing is because they can. The majority of our cultures and societies now, after a lot of hard work from many women in the past and still in the present, bestow on woman the rights that only man was privileged to in the old days. Now, man and woman are or almost equal; woman can choose and has a right to pursue happiness as man, so if things don't support her happiness and/or make her suffer, she has a choice of staying or leaving.

Now Listen Carefully-

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