Many people start asking “how to save my marriage” when it is already too late; they already have their spouse bring the divorce paper and they don’t have a clue of what’s going on. But if you're at least have ordinary marriage life where you still care for your partner, you’ll realize if the divorce is on its way and you still could find a solution.

There are many causes for marital conflicts; your partner may merely say “I don’t love you anymore”, but there are surely a number of reasons behind it. Below are a few things that likely cause a marital conflict:

1. You both lack communication because you both has time consuming job. When there is no communication, it is like sharing a bed with a stranger.

2. There is other man/woman. Affair can be happen from time to time, particularly if your partner feels that he/she has encountered somebody that he/she can share his/her passions; in this case, the passion that you don’t have.

3. You don’t respect your spouse. You always want everything carried out in your way and ignore his/her thought. It doesn’t matter whether you think you are right or even if you ARE right; the point of living together in a marriage are respecting and honoring your partner way of thinking.

Either way, if you realize the crumble in your marriage, don't panic. Sit back and think calmly; ask yourself “how to save my marriage?” The first thing NOT to do is act on your emotion. You are feeling hurt, so you try to hurt your spouse back. You stop sharing and start fighting with him/her over small issue. You keep searching for your spouse bad side and constantly criticize him/her for that. You won’t acknowledge that you HAVE a marriage problem and decline to seek professional help. These things can happen if you just follow your instinct.

“So what should i do Alan? How to save my marriage when she/he does not seem to care about me anymore?” When the love dies, all you need to do is lit it back. If you think that you still want to be with your partner and you still love him/her, then be able to display your love and make him/her notice. You have to CHANGE.

Here is the idea: marriage is when two people live together and grow as time passes; there is no status quo, you’re either growing apart or growing together. Being live together and knowing each other well, your behaviors have amazing influence in your partner. Don’t believe me? Note that you must have replicated something from your partner; it could be taste on foods or brands, the way you state some things, the way you handle problems, and so on.

Exactly what does it convey? It implies that by putting your best effort to change and fix your marriage, your spouse is going to be affected, whether he/she wants it or not. No, it isn’t a walk in the park, but it is a lot better than sulking while thinking “Is this my fault? When did it begun? How to save my marriage? How to get out from this situation?“

Changing yourself to save your marriage will need effort, determination, and commitment, but you can start by respecting your partner. In fact, not merely respect, show him/her that you admire, trust, believe, and love him/her. Hear his/her thoughts and problems. Don't only see the negative side and ask for a fight, but concentrate more on resolving the problem together.

In essence, be somebody who capable of loving and loveable. Your change will have amazing impact on your spouse: how he/she sees you and the way he/she values your relationship.

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