How to spice up your love relationship
Written by Debbie Haughton, LMHC
I’ve been married for over 26 years and some people ask me how I stay happily married. I believe staying happily married takes commitment, humility and effort.
Stay committed!
Once you spend a lot of time getting to know someone you start to see their flaws. I believe you have to decide which flaws you are able to put up with. If you think you are going to find someone close to perfect you will be very disappointed. Determine the flaws you can live with and be committed. When you first meet someone make sure you don’t overlook their bad traits. Many people ignore them hoping to find their perfect love! The bad traits are there, just keep your eyes open. Once you decide you can live with those bad traits, stay committed. Don’t give up and try to find something better.
Be humble!
I believe that staying happily married requires a lot of humility. Many times when I start to be critical of my husband I have to remind myself of all the things he puts up with and accepts about me. My focus starts to transfer from all of his bad traits to mine. It helps me to appreciate him. I’ve observed many couples where one partner believes they are better. The problem with that attitude is they fail to see their own flaws and only focus on their spouses. Focusing on the negative traits in our spouse can make our heart grow very cold and cause us to feel we are falling out of love.
Make an Effort!
Being happily married takes work. You must make your relationship a priority. You must take time to be with each other where you are able to have fun, laugh, be intimate, talk and grow your relationship. If you don’t put time into your relationship it doesn’t have an opportunity to grow. Many couples make the mistake of putting more time and effort into their jobs, children, extended family, hobbies, money, and anything else that comes before the marriage. A good marriage is like a plant that constantly needs attention or it dies. A good marriage doesn’t just magically happen. It takes effort.
To quote Woody Allen, “a relationship is like a shark, if it stops moving forward it will die.”
Article author
About the Author
Debbie is a licensed counselor in Orlando, Florida that works with couples and individuals. Her passion is to help people change for the better. She uses cognitive behavioral techniques as well as solution focused techniques. Debbie has been married for over 26 years and has two grown children. Debbie also works with couples that need help and direction with parenting.
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