Most people, at rational level, accept that life is the sum of our own choices. Yet, there are some moments when every one of us feels like being stuck. Life feels like a never-ending struggle to deal with things that seem to happen to us and we are in a constant rush to manage the consequences.

Why is it happening?

Most of the time, it is purely because we let others to control our life. We start chasing others dreams and desires. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is a common syndrome in today’s society. You are pushing up on corporate ladder not because you like the next position or the next job but solely because of the raise that usually comes with it. And you need that increase in your income because you want a new car or a bigger house to prove to your friends or family or others that you are a success. And finally, you find out that the new car or the bigger house is not what makes you happier. You find yourself stuck in an activity that you don’t necessarily like but you need to pay your bills.
How can you spot your fake goals?

As I mentioned in my last article, goals are the diamonds on your journey to success. You may choose to use the techniques used to spot the fake diamonds and apply it to the goals you have.

In the world of technology we live in, it is impossible to find if a diamond is real or not by simply looking at it. It is the same with your goals. Having so many advertising and marketing messages bombarding us every single day with such a great variety of temptations it is difficult to spot the fake goals that come from by others expectations.

For the diamonds, probably it’s easier to choose the real one because you may go only to bonded jewelers and ask for certificates and return policies. In setting goals and putting all the effort to achieve them you have to make the choices on your own. However, there are some tips that you may use to avoid getting a fake diamond or running after a fake goal.

First and foremost, take a close look for the setting of the stone. Fake diamonds are usually put in low quality settings. It is the same with your goals. What is the setting of your goal? What is the reason you want to achieve that goal? How deep inside that goal touches you? Is it really make you feel something deep inside or is just some shallow appearance that will fade after you achieved it? Fake goals raise from shallow wishes.

Second, check for the stone itself. Fake diamonds are not resistant and natural diamonds are the toughest stone on the earth. Look for scratches or chips. Take a close look to your goals. How resilient are you in achieving them? Is it really keeping you motivated and engaged? Fake goals like fake diamonds will scratch and chip with the first major obstacle.

Last but not least important, after choosing a diamond you should show it to another jeweler for assessment. In fact, you may want to show it to more than one to make sure that the evaluations are accurately close. You can do it with your goals. Look them from different angles and see how they look like on different aspects of your life. You may choose to ask the important people in your life how they see your goals. First and foremost, you should ask yourself how the goal will affect your relations with people you care about. Then you may ask a coach or a mentor to help you clarify your goals.

As you see, the goals are the diamond on your path to success and choosing the right goals is as important as choosing a real diamond. Find the diamonds in your life and you will achieve total success.

Author's Bio: 

Senol ASAN is an expert on leadership, communication, negotiations, sales and sales management, business development and project management, and performance management. He has published articles on some of the most important websites over the internet and in international publications. He had public speaking engagements on leadership in different countries in Central and Eastern Europe.

Senol is a successful retail banking expert with more than 11 years in retail banking and more than 7 years of management and leadership positions within the most important financial group of Romania. He proved in these 7 years that he natural combines very well emotional intelligence with rational intelligence which makes him a very appreciate leader and speaker.

Senol has participated in trainings with some of the most important international trainers from USA, Canada, UK, France, Spain, Austria, Slovenia and Romania.