How To Stop Being Jealous In Marriage: How To Deal With Jealousy In Your Marriage

Jealousy in relationships can destroy any marriage unless effective ways to stop jealousy are found. Often when jealousy in relationships occur couples don't know exactly what steps to take to stop jealousy. Jealousy in relationships can cause extreme stress and unhappiness if signs of jealousy and jealous behavior are ignored.

What Is Jealousy

Jealousy is common and happens to some degree in most relationships. A little jealousy from time to time may not be so harmful but when excessive jealousy rears its ugly head it can lead to a very unhappy relationship.

It is important to distinguish between excessive jealousy and jealousy that is rooted in facts and reality. If a spouse has been cheating in the marriage then it would be natural for there to be some suspicion and mistrust. Even in such cases the goal is to work towards building trust so that overly jealous behavior is ended.

In order to overcome jealousy it is important to understand what is causing it. Past unhappy and painful relationships can have a negative impact on present relationships. In many cases people who are overly jealous are not aware of how foolish they may look. Fears of loss of their spouse's attention, love or affection fueled by insecurity are major causes of Jealousy.

Being able to recognize signs of jealousy and having some knowledge of its cause's puts you in a position to better deal with it while putting your marriage on a stronger footing.

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Signs of jealousy:

- Being overly critical of other people and putting them down might be a symptom of feelings of insecurity. This is especially true if they are constantly putting down people of the same sex which may reveal a fear of being replaced.

- Feeling threatened by your spouse's accomplishments and finding fault with things like them meeting a significant goal at work, your spouse being invited to join a social organization, or your spouse meeting a weight loss goal could be signs of excessive jealousy.

- Becoming upset and suspicious because someone remarks on your spouse being attractive. Feeling severe jealousy just because your spouse talks to someone of the opposite sex. Allowing the imagination to run wild about what your spouse might be doing with no sensible reason for your suspicion.

- Constant questioning of your partner as to where they have been and have they talked to.

- Being obsessed about friends or acquaintances of the opposite sex and constant questioning about co workers.

- Becoming angry if your spouse glances at an attractive person of the opposite sex.

- Reading your spouses text messages and emails

There numerous signs of jealousy that you or your partner may show. Because jealousy can be so destructive on a marriage it is critical to learn the signs of jealousy and how to stop overly jealous behavior before it destroys your marriage.

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Many times when a marriage is in trouble it is not a mutual agreement between the husband and wife to separate or get divorced. More than likely, one partner initiates the breakup, while the other one is left shocked, saddened and desperate for a better solution. If you want to know how to save your failing marriage when your spouse wants to end it, I have some important information to share with you based on years of knowledge and personal experience.

My wife hit me with this devastating news a few years ago and it looked like there was no hope of saving our marriage at that point. Not being prepared to hear that she wanted a divorce, and with no idea of the correct way to respond, I acted in a way that was natural to me and seemed to make the most sense. The following are very common mistakes that lots of people make when facing a divorce:

- Begging your spouse not to go through with the divorce

- Arguing or yelling at your spouse

- Crying

- Threatening suicide or retaliation of any kind

- Promising to change if they'll give you another chance

- Constant phone calls or texting your spouse

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I was guilty of the begging and pleading, phone calls, arguing and attempting to make my wife feel guilty. You may have guessed by now that these techniques didn't work. In fact, they actually made things worse because they seemed to reinforce in her mind that this obnoxious desperate person was not someone she wanted to be with!

I was to learn later from a very valuable resource that I was doing the complete opposite of what I should have been doing. If you want to save your failing marriage, there are specific things you need to do and say and specific ways you need to act. It's not rocket science but it turns conventional marriage counseling upside down. Most therapists who call themselves "marriage counselors" have about a 20% success rate at saving marriages. There is a much more effective method.

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It's not difficult to spot the signs of a bad marriage. Like most things in life, it can be easy to identify them in other people, but always hard when you are looking in the mirror.

And yet, more than most other things, it's critically important you know how to look out for signs that your marriage is turning sour. Marriage is potentially the most important decision you can make in life. With almost half the marriages today ending up in divorce, this could well happen to you too.

What are the signs of a bad marriage then? Here are 5 common ones.

1. You and your spouse hardly talk anymore

Probably the first sign of things going bad. Couples need to talk, share, discuss, even argue. If you find that you hardly ever talk anymore, you can bet the cracks are forming.

2. You do everything separately

While there's something to be said for individual interests, the couple that does everything separately will soon start to lead separate lives. Smart couples cultivate common interests. Smarter ones even take an interest in what the other person does.

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3. Something else, someone else becomes more important

Whether it's children, work, your boss, your parents, once your priority is no longer your spouse, the alarm bells should be going off. If you want your marriage to work, you're going to have to make your spouse the key element in your life, your best friend, your confidante, your source.

4. You start to think for yourself more than for your spouse

Selfishness is probably one of the strongest signs that a marriage is going downhill. When you think "me, me, me" almost all the time, it's a sure sign that your love is fading. As simplistic as it sounds, when you love someone, you tend to think for his or her happiness first. No marriage can last if the two people are constantly looking out for themselves only.

5. The sex is gone

While some people will tell you that you can have a marriage without sex, it's not a healthy situation. Among all the signs of a bad marriage, this is a big one. Being intimate draws you close, bonds you. Not to mention the fact that temptation is always around the corner!

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Married couples, more so those that have been married for long years, could attest that in order to keep the passion in the relationship burning, both partners have to impress each other constantly. If you let life's responsibilities consume both of you, chances are, your husband would look for passion and attention elsewhere.

Accept him for who he is
If you want to impress his with your good nature, begin by letting him know that you love him for all the goodness in him and that you're also willing to accept his weaknesses. Assure him that he will not hear you rant about the characteristics that he lacks.

Be a creative partner in bed
Is it always the missionary style for both of you? Try experimenting at times. Doing so will extremely impress if not excite him.

Don't let him hear your big voice
No man would want to be yelled at so don't let him hear you shout at the top of your lungs. Discuss matters like two, mature individuals. Once he learns that you will never raise your voice at him - ever - then he would surely respect you.

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To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Clean your home
Although guys profess that they'd love you no matter what, reality dictates that at the back of their minds, they want you to serve them somehow. Begin doing this by keeping your home tidy all the time. Doing so will make him feel that your place is a haven of relaxation and comfort.

Don't just be the queen of his heart, be the Queen of the kitchen as well
Cook wondrous meals for your husband and he'll love you with all of his heart. Let him partake of your best recipes and continue acquiring for more impressive ones. Let him arrive to a welcoming aroma in your dining room.

Set up a date when he's too busy to even invite you out
Who says that dating means you have to go and watch a movie somewhere? You can surprise him when he comes home from the office and he finds your home entertainment system set up with popcorn and all! This is a great and non-serious way of reconnecting with your husband.

Be his mistress
Why do guys keep going back to their mistresses? They go back for want of more attention and sexual encounters - what else. So to deter him from ever finding another woman by playing the other woman role so well!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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