How to Stop Being Petty (especially in moments you don’t know you are)

It doesn’t matter what age or how intelligent you are we can all be petty at times. We may not realise it when it’s happening, but hindsight tells us otherwise. If you ponder the incident you can learn your lesson and behave differently next time.

I think the best way to avoid pettiness is to think ‘high energy’ thoughts and rid yourself of low energy. Read a book about high energy such as “The Power of Intention” by Wayne Dyer or watch the movie “The Secret”.

The best way to grow away from pettiness is to regularly ponder times you’ve behaved in a way you weren’t thrilled about in hindsight. If you don’t ‘dissect’ yourself in this way you will never see alternate ways of responding.

When you aren’t being petty you have more energy to focus on what is actually important in life. Become a big thinker – don’t dwell on the little stuff. When something peeves you off, list what the positives about the situation are. Choose a different way to think about it.

The situations we find ourselves in are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ as defined by us. It is OUR THOUGHTS that give events in our life meaning. We can choose to change them at anytime to something that serves us better. For example if you decide that your friend not calling you means you are not important to them or they think they are too good for you it is ‘bad’.

Alternatively you could choose to think “gosh they must be really busy at the moment” which is positive and not dragging you down. Anytime you think such a negative thought ask yourself “how can I be absolutely sure of that?” chances are you can’t. And so begins a new way of thinking.

Anytime a negative meaning you create pops to your head, ponder the opposite and then take that on as your view on the situation. It will eventually come naturally.

So many times the meanings we give to things are way off the mark…

Finding a receipt from an ‘alternative’ shop means your teen has been buying herbal highs…. No it was a bracelet.

Your daughter is an hour late for curfew – she must be drunk and comatose in a gutter somewhere…. No they got a flat tyre.

Your favourite vase is smashed on the floor – your son was smashing the basketball around inside carelessly again… no he was bolting to catch your 3 year old who decided it was high time they jumped off the stereo speakers.

If you know in what areas you’ve been petty in the past you can watch for triggers to ensure it doesn’t happen again. It might be in certain relationships, certain work situations or arguing over a trolley with a stranger at the supermarket. Having a strong and wonderful self esteem is very important, but you should balance self honesty about what you can improve on. If you don’t recognise your flaws you can’t fix them.