How To Survive A Terrible Marriage: Proven Steps To Repair A Marriage

Let me ask you this - has your marriage reached a crisis point and have you got to the stage where you are now feeling lonely and depressed in your marriage? If you answered yes and you want to stay married, then the time has come for you to learn how to repair your marriage.

Never be afraid to admit that you have an issue in your marriage. It makes more sense to put up your hand and seek help than it does to keep it all inside and eventually fall in a big hole.

You know this as well as I do that making a marriage work is not easy. That is why so many couples find it easier to throw their hands in the air and give it all away as a bad joke. Whatever you do, do not take this lightly. Yes, you have problem, but unlike many others in your situation you want to do something about it. You want to find out how to repair your marriage and I am glad to tell you that you can repair your marriage if you follow some basic, uncomplicated steps.

In learning how to repair your marriage, you will find that the first thing that you both need to do is to identify where your marriage is coming off the rails. This will require some serious soul searching between the two of you, but I can tell you that the time that you both spend on doing this will be like an investment in your future. Having identified what the issues are, then you need to do another soul searching session as to what you both need to do to overcome these difficulties. It will mean there will be bit of give and a bit of take for both of you but this is a mature and healthy way of getting over your issues.

Once you have done this, it is a matter of learning to fall in love all over again. Learn to accept each other as you are and learn to love each other again with all your heart. Do this and I can guarantee that you will never have to worry about learning how to repair your marriage ever again.

You will be amazed to learn that when some couples hit tough times in their marriage, they make basic mistakes which makes it even harder for them to repair their marriage.

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Recognizing your partner's differences is one of the first steps to a happy and successful marriage. Before you get married to your partner, you must understand that men and women are different creatures. We think differently, we talked differently, we act differently, and everything about us is almost opposite. We both have different needs and emotions that need to be met at different times. There are a few common things we all share, such as the desire to be happy, to be treated with courtesy and respect, and to be loved and cherished by our partner.

The similarities and differences create a lot of tension and conflict in marriages. Most of the time and are more goal and success oriented, while the woman is more relationship and family oriented. They're always exceptions to the rule, but this is the simplicity to what is generally going on. You might notice when you go to the grocery store with your partner, she may tend to talk to a lot of people while she is there. She is interested in what is going on in their lives and their children's lives. She has probably known the people or families she is talking to for a long time. You, the man, are probably interested in getting whatever groceries are on the list and getting out of there as quickly as possible. This is one of the major gifts that our relationship can offer if you allow it to. You must respect and understand each other's temperament and view or individually. When you do this you can use each other's strengths to become one unit

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Another commonality may share with your partner is watching television. The man wants to watch one thing, while the woman usually wants to watch another. When the man is watching what the woman has chosen, most of the time the woman finds him not paying attention. There is a simple solution to this issue. On Sunday, you need to sit down and play and what television shows each would like to watch during the week. There might be one, one-hour show that each of you may want to watch on each day Monday through Friday. You both have to make a compromise that you will watch and actually become interested in what the other person is watching. Show them you are watching and paying attention by discussing what you have observed after the show was over.

Men can go to the restrooms all by themselves. Women love to go to the restroom with other people. Once again, I am generalizing here and there are exceptions to the rule. I think you get the point when I say we each are very different creatures and you need to love and cherish that difference.

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"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

- Mahatma Gandhi

We've all been hurt by others, treated poorly, trust and hearts were broken. And while it's normal to feel that pain, sometimes it just stays with us for too long and we go through same movie in our minds over and over.

The question is, what can we do with the pain? Ideally, we release the anger and just give it up. While most of us want to let go and forgive, we don't really know how to do that.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you delete the past or forget what happened; it's not even a guarantee that the other person will change; you cannot control others. To forgive means that you disconnect yourself from the pain, let go and move on to a happier place.

Here are several strategies that will help you forgive others and find peace:

1. Express Your Feelings.

Instead of expressing their feelings, most people suppress their anger or frustration. Get in touch with your inner self and find out why you feel the way you do. Gently tell your partner how their actions have affected you. It's unresolved conflicts that lead to resentment, frustration and eventually to hate.

2. Put Yourself In Someone Else's Shoes.

Start from the belief that your partner is a good person, but just made a mistake. Ask yourself, what could they have been thinking or feeling to make them act the way they did? Studies show that empathy is directly connected to forgiveness. What about you? Have you ever made such mistakes? Once you understand each other's perspective, you can start finding solutions together.

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3. Take Responsibility.

Don't put all the blame on your partner. Ask yourself, what could you have done to prevent those things from happening? How do you make sure it doesn't happen again? This isn't to say that you're absolving them of their part of the blame; instead, you realize that you are not a victim, but an active participant in life.

4. The Magic Of Now.

Now that you've reflected on what happened, realize that it's no longer going on. Forgive the person and realize that by doing so, you are allowing yourself to move away from the past and be happy. Shift your attention into the present and find joy in your life right in this moment and stop replaying events in your mind. Feel compassion for the other person and let love grow in your heart.

Here is a simple breathing exercise you can try right now. Imagine each breath that goes out is the pain of the past, feel how you are releasing the anger from your mind and body. Then, visualize each breath that is coming in as forgiveness, entering your body and filling you up with peace. Release the anger and let love come in. Move on, dwelling no more on the past, but living peacefully in the now.

The Challenge

My challenge to you is to find a benefit in every apparently negative thing that happened to you. Try this for just one day. It's a powerful way to eliminate stress and stop focusing on the unpleasant things in life, from rude people, to angry spouses and rainy days. Play this game just for today and you'd be surprised by how many benefits you can find in your stresses.

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You can always tell when things aren't going right, but not that many people know how to repair a broken relationship. This is tricky, but there are some proven methods that always work, no matter who you are. First of all, start fast. Your relationship can go from bad to worse faster than you'd believe. The first step is to decide to fix it. Make the commitment to making it right, and you've already made the first step.

Step 1 - Find The Root Of The Problem

For every battered relationship, there's something that's been going wrong for a while. If you can find that one thing, you'll know your enemy. It could be that one or both of you have stopped trying. Relationships take continual work and effort to keep them good.

It could be that some kind of life changes are getting in the way. Maybe one of you has moved forward in their lives and the other hasn't. One of you gets too busy with their new work situation or activities, and they forget to pay attention to their partner. And I'm going to tell you right now, it could be the guy who's not getting the attention. It's not always the woman.

Maybe you've become judgmental with each other over time. When we first meet, we naturally think wonderful things about each other. But over time, as you grow closer, it gets easier to start judging each other. Those things you found cool at first may start to look silly.

It could be cheating, but cheating is always a symptom, not a root cause. Look for the reason behind the cheating. Maybe it's lost its spark or it's gotten boring. The reason for the problem can be one of many things.

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Step 2 - Deal With It Head-On

Now that you've found your reasons, you've got to deal with them head-on. Confront them with honesty. This might bring out some ugly feelings or some nasty things from the past. If so, so be it. If you're committed to making this work, you've got to lay it all out on the table.

Nobody said it was easy. This part of the process can be tough, because we're all used to bottling things up and keeping things inside. It may be hard to face things from the past. But once you've gotten the reasons out in the open, now you're on your way to fixing them.

Step 3 - Work Them Out With Your Partner

Here, the "with your partner" is the most important part. A relationship is a bond between two people, and both people have to be happy for it to work. The "with" also means that you're in charge of it. It's both of yours. Keep this in mind when you're working it out.

What you need here is total communication. Once you've gotten to this step, you've been through the worst of it. If you have trouble communicating, this can be fixed easily. Most of us aren't great communicators, but if you've got the reason figured out and the commitment to dealing with it, communication skills can be learned.

During the whole process, avoid blaming your partner. Maybe they've done something bad in the past, that's fine. Instead of building up anger and resentment against them, try forgiving them. The power of forgiveness is pretty awesome, and it works wonders when you're trying to fix a relationship.

If it turns into an argument, that's alright. You need to work it all out and not hold anything back. But, never leave off on an angry note. Never go to bed angry. When it's time to stop, call a "truce" or do whatever you need to do so that you won't be seething about it.

Remember that whatever doesn't kill a relationship makes it stronger. After the whole process of fixing a relationship, even if it involves some ugliness and arguing, your relationship will be stronger and healthier than it's ever been before.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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