How To Tell Your Husband You Want Marriage Counseling: My Husband Refuses To Go To Counseling To Save Our Marriage

How can I get my spouse to agree to marriage counseling advice? Although marital counseling is highly beneficial and will help a couple handle their marriage issues at the beginning, when they first start experiencing marital problems, it is a pity that most couples only consider seeing a professional marriage counselor when they are at the verge of divorce. This is usually because it might be hard to get your spouse to agree to marriage counseling advice.

A couple should not be timid to undertake counseling, even if their problems are relatively trivial. Often handling petty issues early with a counselor can help keep the problem from becoming colossal later on. Getting marriage help is one good way to prevent divorce in the future but how do I get my spouse to agree to get professional marriage counseling?

In the past many couples were wary of getting help from marital experts as anyone who considered counseling was probably thought not to be in their right mind. This stigma made people shy away from seeing marriage advisers. Luckily things have changed in today's world and couples are more open to try counseling as a good option to solving their marital problems.

Even so, couples that married a very long time ago are more likely to struggle with this new approach, maybe because it was not something common in their days. It is harder for an older person to adopt new ways. It is a shame that these days couples that have been married for as long as 30 or 40 years may end in divorce whereas the marriage could probably have been saved had they been more open to seeing a counselor.

If you have struggles in your marriage and you feel the need for marital counseling, try talking your partner into going with you but do it in a way that does not make them feel judged so that they are more open to the idea. If for whatever reason your asking them to go with you feels like an accusation or a blame, they are likely to resist. It is better to tell them that you need counseling for yourself but would be glad if they would be willing to accompany you.

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My husband was very resistant to the idea of getting marriage advice. He was not willing to expose things he considered personal to a stranger( referring to the counselor). But when I told him that I had issues I needed to work on and needed help to be able to contribute more to the marriage and to learn how to be a better wife, he viewed the idea more favorably and it was easy to get him to agree to marriage counseling advice.

Even though there were many issues for which I felt he was to blame and I believed most of the problems in our marriage were his fault, I avoided all reproach. Once we started our marital counseling, he was open to learning and changing without being coerced.

Relationship counseling is essential for every relationship. Never be afraid to try to get your spouse to agree to marriage counseling no matter how long you may have been together. One of the things that has helped keep our marriage intact is the fact that we even got premarital counseling for months before marriage. It's never too early to try counseling to resolve problems. And it's never too soon to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones.

At the beginning of our relationship, I was afraid to mention my need for marriage counseling because I felt that meant I was conceding to problems and confessing that our relationship would be a rough one. But that is so not true. Instead the sooner you stop overlooking the handicaps in your relationship and start doing something about it, the higher your chances of making your relationship stronger in the long-term.

My husband was angry at me for proposing counseling as he felt that I was trying to say that because our relationship was not flawless it was doomed to fail. I simply explained to him that pretending that everything was super was a sure recipe to a failed relationship. But by admitting that things were far from perfect, being willing to work on those issues and make the necessary changes was proof that I believed the relationship had great potential to succeed. My goal was to make him happy by making our relationship as good as it could possibly be. This made it easy for me to get my spouse to agree to marriage counseling advice.

If things are explained to your spouse in this way, it will be somewhat easier to get your spouse to agree to marital counseling. Nevertheless, if they are adamant and won't go with you, go by yourself. Though it would be more profitable if you both went, by going alone, you can start working on improving yourself.

When your spouse sees the positive changes in you as a result of the counseling, they will eventually be curious and at this time it will be easy to get your spouse to agree to get counseling.

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You will find marriages today that are truly happy marriages and then there are those marriages that are on the brink of ruin. Some couples have tried to deal with the many problems that come up in married life but simply can not resolve the differences between the partners.

It takes work on both partners part to have a great marriage. It takes work just to understand what a marriage should be.

A couple needs to understand what the reasons are for a failed marriage and then work to avoid loosing their marriage.

Some of the biggest reasons for trouble in a marriage include misunderstanding which results from poor communication, infidelity, and money problems.

It takes a lot of effort, understanding and patience to have a successful marriage. A marriage relationship needs to be renewed to prevent a failed marriage.

There are several factors that can aid in renewing a marriage relationship including:

• Shared interest
• Scheduled time for each other
• Communication
• Avoid criticism that is offensive

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Sharing interest in marriage is important. Sharing interest provides for a time of building a relationship with enjoyment of things that both partners can enjoy.

Our schedules today can get full of things leaving no time for each other. You must schedule time to spend with you partner otherwise the opportunity to become disinterested and show disregard to each other can occur.

Communicate, communicate, and communicate you can never communicate enough. The lines of communication must remain open for a marriage to survive. Lack of communication leads to misunderstanding and misunderstanding leads to trouble in the marriage.

Criticism that is constructive can be beneficial but if you are not careful the criticism can be given in an offensive manner and this must be avoided. Paying attention to the tone used when criticism is given can make all the difference in between constructive and offensive criticism. Constructive criticism builds up whereas offensive criticism tears down.

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If you want to save a marriage, it's absolutely critical to avoid some of the common pitfalls others experience. It boggles the mind to think about how many potentially wonderful marriages die in divorce courts every year when they could have been saved. Don't let your marriage suffer a similar fate. Avoid these two blunders at all costs.

Mistake One: Betting On A Hunch

Marriage is a very personal thing, as are your emotions. You assume that you understand the situation better than anyone, so when it comes to saving your marriage, you feel as though you should trust your instincts. That's a common perspective. It's also a horrible mistake.

Consider this. You don't study human relationships for a living. You don't have extensive experience as a counselor. You don't carry a PhD and your only real connection to the field of human psychology is a few entry level classes from back when you were in college (if that).

This is a high stakes situation and one of the most important facets of your entire life is hanging in the balance. Where does it make more sense to put your trust--with an expert who knows the right way to save a marriage or with your own gut instincts? The answer should be obvious.

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You don't necessarily need to enroll in marriage counseling. You do, however, need to follow an expert-written blueprint for rescuing your marriage from divorce.

Mistake Two: Early Surrender

Things might look bleak. It may appear as if a divorce is inevitable. You might think that you have no way out and that you are doomed to be another ugly divorce statistic. Things are sliding irreversibly into disaster and there's nothing you can do now. It's too late, right?

Wrong. Until the ink is dry on that divorce decree, you have a fighting chance to save your marriage. There are couples who actually broke through and made another go at love while standing in the courthouse. One expert recounts the story of a couple who were driving to see divorce attorneys when one of them finally took the right first step to saving the relationship.

It's never too late. Don't give up early. If you want to preserve your marriage, you need to start now--even if now is late in the game.

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Compatibility means being capable of existing together in harmony. It means to be free of adverse or unwanted effects when present together. Compatible plants are able to fertilize freely. In the marriage relationship harmony is a key ingredient. We must have a common ground of existence. The marriage union is communion with God and one another. Look around you, despite the plethora of material comforts and gadgets available there are many unloved, unfulfilled, unhappy people.

When pondering marriage consider how compatible you are with the potential spouse. If we perceive life to be a pursuit for happiness we invite frustration. Instead we should see it as an opportunity to pursue our God given purpose. Marriage will provide a lifetime companion to pursue God's purpose with, one to enjoy the fruits of your labor. But, we must be certain that the one we are considering is willing to remain through the "thick and thin" or should I say for better or worse.

Marriage is something that must be cherished and nourished. Some people take better care of their pets and possessions than their marriages. We must have our priorities right. Remember to keep the embers burning. Embrace the courtship and continuously reflect and ignite the flames of love. Not the surface infatuated love. The deep unending love that God has prepared for the undefiled marriage bed.

Mature Christians should realize we are stewards of whatever God puts in our possession. We are held accountable for whatever he puts in our possession. The exuberant attention gradually dissipates. But do not allow the relationship to become like a pair of old comfortable slippers.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Take a good look at your fiancée! Is this just a surface attraction? What happens when the evening of life begins to bloom and the wrinkles are quite apparent? Will the attraction still be there? Do you enjoy the same things? What really irritates you now?

Who will do the dishes? Who takes out the trash? Who cleans the toilet? Where do we squeeze the toothpaste? Who walks the dog? Who cleans the bathroom? Who sleeps on what side? Who takes care of the finances?

Although petty in thought these issues can become the catalyst to enormous battles. We must; learn to agree that compatibility is a desired atmosphere. We must strive to resolve any conflict that hinders the development of a healthy relationship!

We tend to subjectively view life from our own experiences. This can cause conflicts misunderstandings and disagreements to surface. We must take time to carefully listen to each other. We must be committed to developing good communication skills.

We must learn to be accepting and forgiving of one another's shortcomings. Everyone has shortcomings. But we must never reinforce wrong behavior in one another, nor should we attempt to justify our own wrong behavior.

We must practice sincere humility towards one another. We must become passionately sensitive to the point we can relinquish a wrong point of view. We must commit to seeking godly counsel when resolving relational conflict. We must acknowledge that God's way is the right way.

God will never lead us to do anything that destroys a relationship that He has truly ordained. Take a good look at the person you want to marry. Can you truly put him/her first in your life? Can you honestly forsake all others?

Are the two of you ready to allow God's Word to direct your marital path? Remember marriage is a commitment to God as well as to your partner!

When we fail to readily follow His leadership we display a lack of TRUST and FAITH in HIM! If you are not discouraged at this point and you sincerely want to make a commitment you are probably ready to move towards creating a harmonious marital relationship!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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