Article

How To Turn A Girl Friend Into A Girlfriend

Written by Ruth Purple

Topic: DatingPublished March 1, 2009
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You liked her from day one, and she liked you too—as a friend. You’ve tried every trick up your sleeve to make her see you in a different, perhaps more romantic light. Problem is, she’s already had you classified as a friend, and that’s where you’ll be. Getting out of the friend zone is difficult. You’re either a “friend” or a “boyfriend”. Once you are in the “friend” category, it’ll be hard for her to see you as anything more. Imagine that, you ended up being pals with the woman you actually wanted to date. Moving your name from the “friend” to “boyfriend” category can be a slow process for her but it is never impossible.

However, think hard before you even start plotting your devious schemes on how to steal her from her current beau. If things don’t turn out too well, there is a chance that she’ll drift away from you and you might lose her completely. Ask yourself whether your relationship with her is worth risking. If she’s already a big part of your life that you don’t want to lose, then consider looking around for someone else and keep her as a dependable buddy to help you out. (Who knows, maybe you’ll end up together someday) So you want to go ahead with it.

Good for you, because you don’t have to endure the tricky getting-to-know-you stage. You already know what makes her tick, what makes her laugh, and what kind of Mr. Right she’s dreaming of—in short, you hold all the power to turn her around, away from the competition. First things first: she may be your buddy, but she’s a WOMAN. She heard you fart a lot of times already, and you call her “Shorty”. Even if you don’t treat her like a male buddy (well, sometimes) everything about both of you is casual and relaxed. Show her that you can be boyfriend material by being a gentleman.

Make her feel special -- offer to carry her things instead of jamming your stuff into her bag. Start flirting with her in a very discreet and subtle way. It can be simple things, like being more attentive to her during conversations or holding her gaze longer than you normally would. Flirting of the pickup variety may be introduced after a little while, when you see that she’s taking it well. Then, up your game with more physical flirting. Of course, you have been physical with her for a long time already, but this is not the shoving and slapping-the-back type.

Touch her consciously, like gently brushing a tendril of hair away from her eyes. This act promotes positive thoughts in her and builds up intimacy. Friends don’t date each other out, but it doesn’t mean you can’t date her. Do it in a subtle way, since it’s impossible to ask her out without spooking her. You may want to go DVD-shopping together, since you both share a passion for movies. This will also give you more alone time together and she may notice that there may be something about you that wasn’t there before. How long has she seen you in that hairstyle? Since junior high? Change something about yourself that will make her notice you in a different way.

A new hairstyle or a more confident attitude around her will might make her reconsider whether you can be in the “boyfriend” list or just stay in the “friends” list.

Article author

About the Author

The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

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