How to Turn Resentment To Gratitude

I was in a conversation recently where a story was shared that was one of those WOW moments. It is one that proves the power of turning a resentment into a gift. I just had to pass this story on today.

My friend was sharing that his step-daughter is about to start her Ph.D. education working towards her Veterinarian degree. He shared that when he married his wife many years ago and with the step-daughter living with them; her biological father turned to a financial dead beat.

My friend had a huge resentment about having to take on the full financial burden of the step-daughter. He shared the story that one day when he was expressing his resentment someone told him: “What a blessing you have to be privileged to invest your money into the mind of a young person; especially one that loves you”.

My friend said it was like someone hitting him over the head with a 2x4. He realized he was so focused on the perceived injustice without the realization he was given a gift. He realized the feedback was spot on and shifted his perspective of resentment into gratitude.

It had me thinking of situations in my life where I have been given remarkable life gifts. I can honestly tell you that majority of them came with difficult times and lessons to be learned. In the midst of emotional pain the last thing I was thinking is that this situation is a gift.

For me, the turning point is always when I change my perspective. This occurs when I shift my thinking from “Look what is being done to me’ to “Look what is being done for me”.

I once had a consulting job that I grew to truly dislike. My values didn’t align with those of management and so I was always fighting an uphill battle on client relations. It was a resentment that just kept building over the years and I became a chronic complainer. I finally got to the point one day of realizing they were never going to change and I needed to make the decision to go along with their method of handling clients or leave the company.

I made the decision to change jobs and ended up in a new company whose value system aligned with my own. Of no surprise I flourished in this company environment. It took a while for my resentment of my old company to turn to gratitude. But it did overtime when I realized the powerful skill set I had learned as a consultant and that leaving led me to truly utilize the skills I had learned.