Scoring a second chance with your girlfriend might be the hardest thing you do. However, when you feel you’re right for each other, and that it is meant to be, you will not be afraid to put in the work.

Here’s what you can do to win that special girl back:

## Give Your Girl Some Space

The first thing you need to do is give her time and space to process everything that has happened.

By giving her space, you also provide yourself with space. Plus you give her a chance to miss you.

Tip: You don’t want to chase after her; you want her to *want* to come back. This outcome is only possible when she misses you.

## Let Your Ex Girlfriend Make The Next Move

Show her that you have patience and self-control by giving her ample space to make the next move.

Win her over by showing you don't need to chase!

Let her see you as a contented and calm man (who maybe lost his way for a while, but who is now back in the driving seat.)

Moreover, in letting her initiate contact first, you allow her to have all the time she needs to get her composure back.

You don’t need to *crowd* her because she is not going to forget you. If anything, your composure will intrigue her.

Ergo, your job is not to let your emotions take over. It is to get and stay *composed.*

## Make Use Of Your Alone Time

Use this break from each other to better yourself.

**Get better, not bitter.**

Maybe go to the gym, pick up a new hobby, or take your career or business to the next level.

Frankly?

It is better to be distracted than it is to give your brain all the time in the world to think about your girl.

Getting busy is plain smart.

So, use the opportunities available to you!

For example, join groups to connect with new people and learn new ideas. Re-kindle friendships that went cold during your relationship. Also, make time to learn a new skill.

These are the kind of activities that will keep you busy after the break-up while adding value to your life.

Pouring energy into your own affairs will help you stay in your lane (and not in hers.)

Consider this the prime time to get on with your life.

Living well can be the best revenge (if applicable) *and* the best path to becoming the man she can miss. Plus, by becoming a better person, you also become a better partner, too.

Putting yourself first and making wins in your own life will make you more attractive to her, and to the other girls whose paths you cross.

Bottom line:

You want your girlfriend to feel like she is missing out on something, and feel a growing desire to become a part of that.

## Upbeat Communication

Whether she initiates contact with you, or you decide to take charge: this is where things can go wrong fast.

Some tips:

If she asks you what you’ve been up to or how you’re doing, consider this an opportunity to tell her about one of the fantastic things you have been doing for yourself.

Yes, just ONE thing (don't overcook this.)

Aside: if you haven't been moping around since the break-up it'll show.

It's essential that you don't whine or complain. It is even better if you are upbeat, and speak about the good things in life.

This is not the same as faking happiness, however. You can express regret over the loss of the relationship. However, it would be best if you did not dwell on it when speaking together.

So, whatever hobby it is you got into, or goal you pursued, etc.? Express *that* to her.

She might have thought you were wallowing in self-pity and were too busy being depressed over the break-up to enjoy life. You want to break that illusion.

Next:

If she asks if you’re seeing someone, do not lie if you are, because she deserves to know, even if it does not concern her.

Tread carefully, though, as this may make her feel like you moved on quickly.

Women love what they can’t have, just as we all do (assuming we already have a desire for it.) She won't necessarily feel that way, though, if she perceives you were only too keen to sleep around.

Think about how she may perceive your actions.

Last:

Avoid talking about the problems you had in the relationship. Not for a while at least. Serious talk can soon turn sour.

## Ask Her Out?

If the conversation goes well, ask her to join you for coffee or something similar so that the two of you can catch up in person.

Note: Only ask her out if the conversation has been going well. You do not want her to feel pressured.

The mistake many men make is asking for a second chance too soon.

They skip the process and go straight to the event (the big question.)

Relatedly, some men will frame their invite as "a date." Using that word is also a mistake!

You should take your time and enjoy the communication you have together for what it is.

I suggest you make it your goal to enjoy the time you spend together, and nothing more. At least for a good while.

This way, you won't put pressure on her (or you) for the time you spend together to lead to any particular result.

Doing so will help manage your expectations while ensuring she feels as little pressure as possible.

So, ask her to hang out with you just so you *can* hang with her, and have fun together.

Because:

If she can enjoy the *moments* together for what they are, she may well consider taking things further with you.

Whereas, if she does not enjoy the interactions, then she will be looking for her escape!

Therefore, your job is to help her feel good when spending her time in your company.

## Finally

While you may want things to progress faster with her, have respect for the process you are working.

Enjoy the journey rather than fixate on the destination, and you may find she enjoys the ride with you (and that is the point.)

So, why not give it a go if you feel that she is worth a shot?

I wish you luck.

Author's Bio: 

Michael Fulmer is a relationship consultant who specializes in breakup recovery. He founded undoabreakup.com in 2011 and works with clients from all over the world.

Are you stuck? Read Michael's free ex-back guide for clarity on what to do next.