How Well Do You Connect With People? 7 Tips to Mastering Communication

How Are You Connecting With People? Let's face it, the connection we have with other people affects our health, happiness, financial worth, and success. Whether that's through close interpersonal relationships with family and partners, business relationships or casual acquaintances. How we connect (or don't) with others affects every area of our lives. Doesn't it make sense then to sharpen our communication skills - to learn how to connect better with people around us?nnWhy it Matters:nWhen people like you, they see the best in you. They become your greatest resource in getting what you want because they like you and want to help. Let's say you have this dream to publish a book that's just burning inside of you. When you mention it to a co-worker while getting coffee, your boss just happens to walk in. As your co-worker leaves the lunch room, your boss says he has a friend that's a publisher - if you're interested he'll give her your contact information. Your first thought may be "what's in it for him", or "what does he really want". Nothing could be further from the truth. You’ve already made an impression on your boss - he likes you. It's because of the favorable impression that you've already made (consciously or unconsciously) that motivates your boss to reach out and support you. It makes him feel good knowing that he's helping you. That's connecting.nnPeople Like People Like Themselves:n"There's something about you that I like about me." We gravitate to people who are like us because it's comfortable and familiar. We also stay away from people that have qualities we don't like - sometimes even ones that we don't like about ourselves. Have you ever had an instant like or dislike to someone that you've just met? It's likely that the person has resonated with either something inside you that you like very much, or don't like at all. It's very much an instinctual and unconscious process - we don't give it much thought at all.nnConscious Communication:nWhat if you could learn the skills necessary to make connections naturally and effortlessly? It's possible - with practice and useful repetition of some key basics, you'll be attracting people, relationships and situations that will improve your life.

First Impressions - you never get a second chance to make a first impression. It may surprise you to know that you have only about 90 seconds to make that first impression. Know that this is the door of future possibilities and make the most of it.n nEye Contact - people feel you have nothing to hide when you can look them in the eye. Maintain eye contact during a conversation and don’t' let your eyes wander around the room - it only makes the other person feel they're not important to you.n nPosture & Body Language - this says more about what you're saying than your actual words. If you say you're happy and excited but you're posture is slumped, it's not congruent with what you're saying. However, if you say you're happy and your posture is strong, you'll come across as genuinely happy. n nIf you're standing with your arms crossed or faced away from the person you're talking to, you may seem angry, defensive or "closed" off from them. Consider facing the person you're talking with in a relaxed (not slouched) posture - you'll come across as open and warm.n nFacial Expressions - this goes hand in hand with posture and body language. We rarely notice how expressive our faces are, and how easily people can read what we really mean. Fear, excitement, concern, happiness, surprise…they all show on our face. Think about the last time someone told you they weren't angry at you but their face told another story. Which one did you believe - their words or their facial expression?n nTone - how you say something is as important as what you say. Try this - say the following phrase "It's late" with these emotions…anger, boredom and surprise. Notice how the meaning changes with the tone you put into the words. It's the same with other words that you say.n nInterrupting - this is about the rudest thing that we can do to someone, whether in person or over the phone. We all do it, and we should all do less of it. When we interrupt the person talking to us, we're saying that what they have to say isn't important to us - they're not important. Remember the last time you were interrupted. How did it make you feel? Are you open to developing a connection with that person?n nHonesty - our bodies don't lie and we shouldn't either. When we lie, our body will react proportionately to the size of the lie. We sweat, our posture becomes somewhat slouched, our eyes will make slight shifts as we tell the lie and our eyebrows may slightly arch. There's energy to the words we say and others will instinctually pick up on it. The best policy is to avoid it.

nnnWhen it comes down to it, life is about the connections we have with other people. The quality of your life will be in direct proportion to the quality of your relationships. People who connect live longer, are happier, and enjoy more personal growth than those that don't. Improving your connections with people is your ticket to improving your life.