Do you know the one big thing you may do to kill passion and romance with your man?

Criticize him.  
When you criticize your man, he feels like he is inadequate and doesn't measure up to your expectations.  When he feels inadequate, he feels like a failure.  And a man who feels like he doesn't measure up and is a failure in his woman's eyes is NOT romantic or passionate to her!

Often, our criticism is unintentional, subtle or even well meaning.  But criticism hurts a man to the core of who he is and causes damage. That damage has a name.  It is resentment. He may disguise his hurt by being angry, grouchy, impatient or irritable with you.  He may give you the cold shoulder, become quickly defensive or sharply tell you what to do.  Or he may become distant and withdraw from you.

When you offer what you think of as "helpful" criticism or reviewing, your man may hear it as you wanting to change him because he is letting you down or failing you. In other words, he feels he is not enough. He is sensitive to not being enough for you.

Here are 11 ways you may criticize your man and kill passion without even realizing it:

1.  Mock him by repeating what he said in a whiny little voice.
You know, that little yanh-yanh voice.  Sarcasm hurts.  Period.  Rolling your eyes needs to be included here, too.  When you roll your eyes, even if it's behind his back, it implies contempt.  He is your most important person.  Be respectful of him.

2.  Cancel out his good intentions with a "but."
The word "but" after you acknowledge, appreciate or compliment your man cancels out everything you said completely.
"I think the yard looks great but it would have been better if you mowed it yesterday."  You may have to bite your tongue if you feel a "but" coming!

3.  Call him names that you think are funny but he doesn't.
Unless it's a pet name or a nickname, there is no place for name calling of any kind.  Even if you laugh when you call him a name like "Short Stuff, Mr. Fix It or Ronald McDonald" it hurts him, especially if you are being sarcastic.   Choose to be kind instead.

4.  Correct his grammar.
I promise you his grammar hasn't changed since you met him!  Better to leave it alone and not be his mama!

5.  Criticize his choices.
"Out of all the shirts you have to wear, you chose that one?"  Some things you just have to let go of for the sake of the relationship.  He might really like that shirt because it makes him feel comfortable and confident when he wears it.        

6.  Interrupt and stop him because you have heard his story 10 times already.
Your man wants you to listen to him.  He wants you to be into his stories because that means you are into him.  Hold his stories gently and tenderly no matter how many times you have heard them.

7.  Let another male in the family carve the holiday turkey at your home.
Asking another male to do a job that is traditionally your man's job implies that your man is inadequate and incompetent. It takes away his status and respect. Even if you want to extend the job to another male as an honor, remember whose castle it is and who wants to be king in his castle.

8.  Exclude him from decisions that affect both of you.
It feels better to be a partner than to be left out and told after the fact.  Even if it is something that you know he will say "yes" to...give him respect by including him in the decision. 

9. Make him feel like he is not needed.
Your man wants to be your hero.  "I can do it faster myself" does not invite connection.  He loves it when you ask him for his help...even if it is for something you can do better or faster yourself!

10.  Withhold your appreciation.
If it's his job to take out the trash, say "Thank you."  A little appreciation goes a very long way with your man and makes him feel loving toward you.

11.  Say, "I told you so."
Enough said!

And the all time, most hurtful way to kill passion and romance in your relationship is...

Criticize him publicly.
Even if you think it's for his own good, don't do it!  He maybe will withdraw and he certainly will become resentful.  His resentment can quickly turn to contempt if you don't stop because he feels humiliated.  Contempt is hard place to return to passion from.

Men's biggest complaint about women is that no matter what they do, it is not good enough.  Sometimes you just have to "leave it alone" and not criticize him.  Here are my criteria for "leaving it alone."

Leave it alone if...

1.  It is not harming him or anyone else.
2.  It is not on the public humiliation list, like his pants are unzipped or there is something gross between his teeth.
3.  It is more important to you than to him.

Criticism, whether it's intentional or not, kills two of the most important pieces of your intimate relationship...passion and romance.
If you can become aware of and adjust the ways you may unintentionally criticize your man, you can have the relationship that you want and one that you will filled with excitement and all the romance your heart can hold!  Really!

Author's Bio: 

Known for blending her gracious and gentle style of teaching with her intuition and knowledge of relationships, romance and the energy of romance Emily creates simple and fun ways for you to have the romance and passion you so deeply crave. She is the creator of The Romance Principles™, an author, Relationship Coach and Law of Attraction Coach. Please visit her website at