This piece came out of a discussion with Nellie Jacobs,, around how people connect and what communication is all about.....
Ultimately this change in understanding can increase the number of contacts and clients you develop by 500%. Read on to find out how.

When we hear expressions like, “It’s a numbers game!”, we have to know this is one of the world’s great half-truths. Whether we are talking about a financial consultant, a real estate agent or a guy looking for a date, the problem is the same. That’s the “Talk to everyone and keep saying, ‘Next’ if it doesn’t work out.” approach and it’s brutal for everyone. The result is a woman saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince….”.

Rejection. And a good thing too. Otherwise we’d be jammed up all day with useless meetings and forced polite conversation!

Enter the ‘Golden Rule of Communications’:

“Communicate with others the way you would like to be treated.” ©

When I ask people ‘how’ they would like to meet new friends or business contacts they say, “I like it when it is interesting, exciting and fun”. So that’s a great place to start.

Interesting could mean talking or learning about something or someone I am interested in.

Exciting makes me think of adventure, new ideas and discovery.

Fun is anything that makes me feel good and smile and makes for pleasant company.

Meeting new people, or old friends, or simply doing business could be like that. It can and it is when it’s done based on “The Golden Rule of Communications”. Basic core principles are like foundations for skyscrapers. They support everything we do and they stand up to the test of time.


The Golden Rule is the foundation, so what do we do with it? How do we build on it?

First, ask yourself a fundamental question about any place or situation you are in or plan to be in:

“What am I doing here anyway?”

It’s a great question for business or social situation. Once you’ve established that you are in the right place, it helps to understand some ‘people’ facts.

Most of us know that in if we look at products, services or relationships, at any given moment some people are actively looking, some will be looking in the next few months, some over the next couple of years and some just won’t be looking.

The numbers used in business can really help:

3-5% Looking

10-15% Looking in the next few months

40-50% Looking in the next couple of years

30-40% Aren’t likely to be looking

Exactly what these numbers are will vary widely from one place to another however the trends are the same. At any given moment in the immediate future about 10 - 15% of the people we meet could be customers. Over a couple of years that number jumps to 50 -75%!!

That means that by making a good contact and keeping in touch I could increase my contacts and business by 500%!

Fortunately there are some things most of us want:

  • Someone who is interested in what they are interested
  • To be genuinely listened to
  • An injection of positive energy
  • To be given the space they need
  • Good information or help when requested

So how do we know who’s looking for what we’ve got? How do we communicate with them and stay true to “The Golden Rule of Communication”. Let me use an example of a business communication.

Here’s how Tom Wood of Mastery TV recommends you do it.

You first meet and introduce each other. “What do you do and how can I help you?” Response is “What do you do?” After a brief description of what you do, ask for more about what they’re looking for. If it’s general then look for more detail – an explanation could be that you know a lot of people & may be able to help them.

The conversation starts and is based on getting to know each other and looking for ways to help each other. This is an example of making contact, no matter how it happens. From there on it is a matter of continuing the contact if you feel it’s a win-win!

It's simple and it works.

Author's Bio: 

Cliff Sutton is a communications and sale specialist. He helps you find and grow the relationships that are right for you personally and for your business. Most of the important things in our lives come from meeting the right people. Here's how to do it. Website is The CD "Get Sales Connected" is available