How Old Beliefs Prevent Success in Growing Your Business

The definition of a contract in Webster’s Dictionary is “a binding agreement between two or more persons.” Contracts have many purposes. We expect contracts to define expectations and purpose as well as limitations. They clarify the parameters in the agreement. Typically, they are explicit and tangible. This is the typical view of a contract.

Then there are the negative contracts. Negative contracts are little known facts which have far reaching implications. They are typically between two or more people. There is no statute of limitations. Negative contracts are not concrete and written on paper. You might be in one and not even be aware of it. The negative contracts are implicit and intangible. They are powerful.

Okay, now I have your attention. Let me explain. This concept has to do with our relationships. They could either be relationships you were in or ones that you observed.

Think about an unhealthy and conditional relationship. You weren’t accepted for who you are. This other person was controlling. You were expected to be someone that you were not. Your needs were secondary. For you, it felt your needs were not important to this person. You wanted this person’s love and attention, but could never get it in the way you needed it.

One example would be Sandy growing up with her critical mother. Sandy was frequently told by her mother that her school grades were never good enough. If Sandy had a report card with three A’s and one B, her mother would ask her why she got a B in that one class instead of being proud that Sandy made the Honor Roll. It was always like this. Sandy was a great student, but her mother always had a way of taking her successes away from her and pointing out the one little detail that was overlooked.

Sandy learned she could never apply herself enough. Even when she did her best and received recognition from others, she only saw the little detail that she overlooked. Growing her business was always a struggle. She tried so hard to get approval from others, affiliates and clients. As a result, she became a hard worker with a full practice. Sandy, however, always undersold herself. Her prices were well below what she was worth. She had difficulty asking for payment and frequently gave services away. What Sandy struggled with was the fact that she did not feel that she deserved to be paid for her services.

Her subconscious, negative contract prevented her from raising her fees. This was due to the fact that as a child she did not feel she ever did good enough. Her mother was very good at pointing out her flaws, but not her strengths. She was always hoping for approval from her mother and was let down time and time again. She continues to be emotionally bound to her mother waiting for approval of her worthiness, which she sadly realizes will never come. Sandy is still waiting for her mother to be proud that she got the A’s. As long as she maintains this need for approval from her mother, she will never feel she is worthy of raising her fees to reflect the true value of her services and what she provides to her clients.

The negative contract which prevents Sandy from growing her business easily and getting compensated for what she is worth is based upon her core relationship with her mother. In order to have a relationship with her mother, she always needed to be flawed in some way. This pattern, this negative contract, has been intact for decades. Sandy is not aware of the core issue which prevents her from stepping into her greatness.

The majority of us have negative contracts. A belief we developed at a much younger age which continues to be seen as a truth. The negative contract is a silent killer to your success. It will contribute to sabotage each and every time until you have taken away its silent power.

Do you deserve success? For how long have you worked hard and not seen the results?

Change can happen. When you are ready to take the next step, you will begin to transform a negative into a positive. You have been in this binding contract for years, change is not always easy, but it is possible.

Identify the negative contract. What do you need to do to move forward? Before you take that next important step you might need to resolve your fears or resistance to change. This is okay, it happens to all of us when faced with something uncomfortable. Change can be very uncomfortable.

Realize you have the ability to be free of this self imposed limiting barrier to your success. You will choose to move forward when the status quo is not working for you anymore. Are you ready? The next step is powerful!!!

This is the moment to take action. Destroy the negative contract. You have been bound by this agreement for too long. Tear up the contract. It is null and void. You have fulfilled those terms a long time ago. Free yourself from this implied contract which has been holding you back from reaching your peak potential with confidence and ease.

Now that you have done this can you feel the change? There is a lightness you might experience by transforming a barrier to your success. When facing adversity, there is a potential for equal or greater success. By making this move you have said “yes” to you. Congratulations for standing up to a barrier and doing the work around this issue.

Activity: The first part of making a change is identifying the underlying factors which prevent you from taking action to grow your business with ease. What keeps you from reaching your peak potential easily and with confidence? Write down everything that comes to mind concerning your barrier to success. On your list, does any one item feel more true, or more powerful, than the others? Is there a particular person who was not able to give you the approval you needed? Is your primary barrier connected to the one person you were not able to get approval from?

Look at the barrier you described. What does it mean? When you look at your new meaning, once again write it down, what does that mean?. Let’s take it one step further, write down what that means. Now you are close to your core issue.

Fill out the contract with your issue. If it is attributed to someone, write that person’s name on the contract. Take a moment and reflect on the feelings you might have about letting go of this belief. You might have anger, sadness, grief or disappointment. What you feel is okay.

How would you like to release yourself from this contract? Do you want to tear it up? Burn it. Or is there something else which would make the release significant? Whatever works for you is okay.

Once you have done that, take a moment to reflect on the experience. Do you notice a change? What is it? Recognize you deserve success. With this action, you have taken one step toward your greatness.