If someone has a strong need for human contact, it can seem as if they would be aware of it. However, even if they do, this could still be something that they are typically unaware of.

What this means, then, is that this need will generally be outside of their conscious awareness. But, while this will be so, it doesn’t mean that this need will just lie dormant and won’t have an effect on them.


Not being aware of this need and being able to fulfil it can cause them to often feel drained, frustrated, empty and even depressed. But, as they will be missing out on something that is important, this is to be expected.

Yet, as they won’t be aware of what is actually going on, there will be no reason for them to join the dots, so speak. As a result of this, they can believe that how they feel is due to something else altogether.

One Outcome

One thing that can take place, by being this way, is that they can have a strong sex drive. What this will show is that their need for human touch has become sexualised.

They can then believe that they just have a high sex drive and that’s all there is to it. When they do have sex, though, they may have a strong need for physical affection and their need to actually have sex might not be as important.


Naturally, when they do share their body with another person, this will probably allow them to experience a lot of human contact. In addition to the hugging that may take place, there can be all the caressing that may occur.

So, for their body, it will be as if they have been out in the cold and then they will be in the warm, if only for a short while. After this has taken place, they are likely to feel alive and more whole and complete.

A Release

If they do notice that they feel different, they could simply believe that this is due to them having had sex. In reality, this will only be a small part of why they are now in a different place internally.

What took place will have allowed them to let go of a lot of the tension that will have partly built up through them being deprived of human contact. Before long, they are likely to return to how they felt before; that is unless, of course, they have sex again before this happens.

Drawing the Line

If they have only had casual encounters for most of their life and, perhaps, have never been in a relationship or one that was very serious, there could come a point in time when they have had enough of living in this way. Assuming that this happens, they could feel a strong need to have more.

They might even see, at this point, that they have been hiding their need for human contact not only from others but from themselves and that they want to be in a loving relationship. To be with someone they can be affectionate and fulfil a number of different needs with as opposed to simply their sexual needs.


Now that they have become aware of what is going on, they could struggle to understand why they are this way. Furthermore, they might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember.

What this will illustrate is that their conscious mind doesn’t have access to the information that would shed light on why they are this way. Most likely, their brain will have blocked out this information in order to protect them from pain and allow them to keep it together.

Going Deep

When it comes to why they have typically been disconnected from at least one important need for most of their life, it can be a consequence of what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were deprived of the nutrients that they needed to be able to grow and develop in the right way.

From the moment they were born, they may have often been left and when they were given attention, it may have largely been misattuned care. This would have meant that their need to be held and caressed would have rarely been met.

A brutal time

As they were powerless and totally dependent, they wouldn’t have been able to change their parent or parent’s behaviour or to find a parent who could love them. The only thing that was able to take place was for their brain to automatically repress both their needs and the pain that they experienced by not getting their needs met.

Along with this, they could have gone into a shut down, disconnected, collapsed and frozen state. They would have lost touch with their true self and been forced to develop a false self that would allow them to adapt to and survive a barren environment.

A Natural Consequence

Considering what they went through as an infant, toddler and perhaps throughout their childhood years, it will be no mystery as to why they ended up this way. Thus, there is nothing inherently wrong with them and their needs are not bad either.

If they hadn’t had the ability to adapt to what was going on, they most likely wouldn’t be alive. But, what served them during this stage of their life will now be causing them to suffer unnecessarily.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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