Husband Always Leaves When We Fight: Leaving House After A Fight - How Often Does A Healthy Couple Fight

Marriage is just like any other relationship that has many issues to be resolved. Couples argue for so many reasons. One may be the fault of the other, while sometimes it is simply because they are both humans with different thoughts and point of views about life. However, couples should understand that fights in a marriage can also be useful because it is during that fights that you know more about each other. This may be weird but before you fight, I think you should consider these preparations:

Use the proper place. The street is never a good place to fight. This is only for cats and dogs, and other uneducated creatures. I know it is hard to control yourself but I think it is just proper to use your house as your fighting arena. This is the best place you can have to have a good fight. But you can also choose any private place where nobody can see you and hear you yelling at each other. Even a convicted murderer deserves a proper court.

Be alone. You are not going into a boxing match so you do not need a referee as and a coach. Do not bring with you along your best friend, relatives and parents. They will just be bias over the other. The issue should be between you and your spouse alone. Most of all, do not argue in front of your children. They will be the ones most affected when you fight in front of them. It will not only scare and confuse them; it will also affect their personality and will tend to be war freak when they grow up.

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Be considerate. In any fighting sport, fairness is a must. Never bring back an old issue just to justify the present. Although this is hard to do when you are angry, I think it is only but fair that you inform your spouse prior to the talk. More importantly, avoid using hurting words because it may only worsen the situation. Finally, never hurt each other physically especially if you are the husband. Using your strength to highlight an issue is not necessary. If you have a good point, the scoreboard will be on your side. Give also your spouse the chance to explain his/her side.

Breathe once in a while. Even a boxing match has a time out. If you think the argument is going nowhere, maybe it is time to take a rest. Drinking cool water can help a lot to normalize your blood pressure. Use this time also to think about the points of your spouse. Maybe it is you who made the mistake and you just cannot accept it. Try to analyze the facts which was presented by the other side and do not be paranoid about it. Remember that you are fighting with your spouse, not with an office mate.

Finish it lovingly. The fight will not end if none of you will stop. Fighting with your spouse means you only want to clear things and correct the mistakes. To help you stop the fight, start talking about the solution of the problem and how the mistake should be avoided to commit again. You need not to forgive at once, but both of you should learn from the mistake. If the fight is about principles and ideology, find ways to meet in the middle. This is one of the biggest factors in having a successful marriage.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but you can always find ways to make it a bit closer.

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Do you have marriage problems? Are you happily married or just hanging on? Is the thrill gone or barley a tingle? Given a 50 million dollar winning lottery ticket, would you be upset if your spouse decided to leave? It's just you and I so be honest.

Ok, I know hypothetical questions are way different than reality. Of course I also know that what you say in public might be slightly different than what you think or say in private. Here is what most married folks say in public;

- We have a great marriage. We have our problems but doesn't every married couple?

- Our marriage is not as bad as it used to be and we are making progress in improving our marriage?

- I would do it all over again if I had the chance to (sure you would).

- No one is perfect so we have learned to live with each other's faults.

Here is what some folks are thinking or saying in private;

- We had a good marriage but somehow we have grown apart and don't seem to be going in the same direction.

- Our marriage is not as bad as it used to be but only because I have given up fighting to save our marriage.

- I wish I had waited before getting married.

- I have settled and lost all hope of getting the marriage I once dreamed of.

So how are your public and private conversations about your marriage going? The simple question I have for you is "are you really happy with your marriage"? If you are not happy how important is it to you that changes get made?

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The truth about your marriage problems is that if they don't get resolved they could lead to one or two things;

First, marriage problems can easily put such a strain on your relationship that it results in you or your spouse having an affair. Most married people want to feel connected to and loved by their spouse. If the emotional connection or physical attachment is not there, infidelity just might creep in.

Second, the reality is that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. I haven't tracked the stats but I would guess that a significant number of those folks had unresolved marriage problems. I have yet to hear about a happily married couple divorcing. Yes, there are some sudden breakups where one spouse has a serious lack of judgment that leads to a divorce. However, I would say that is the exception and not the norm.

Please don't think that I'm trying to be all doom and gloom about marriage. Marriage is wonderful and I have been married 28 years and yes I would do it all over again, if given the chance. Of course, I doubt if my spouse would marry me again.

I'm a believer that every marriage can be improved and every marriage can be saved. If I had more time I would tell you about a couple who had an infidelity issue, divorced and later remarried. They are now happily married. It doesn't mean that every marriage will be saved but it shows that there is hope for your marriage.

Your marriage doesn't have to be the pits or a match made in heaven. What your marriage should be is one that is continuously getting stronger and healthier. It's normal to have some setbacks but your good days should far outnumber your bad ones. You should be smiling more than you are frowning.

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If you want to save your marriage, then you are not alone at all. Well, getting a divorce is easy, but trying to take good care of each other for as long as possible is not as easy as it sounds. Actually, marriage is not an easy thing, it does mean that you need to be with each other forever. So, if you really do want to save your marriage, then I may have an answer for you.

Well, I did have problems in my marriage as well and my wife didn't want to stay married to me anymore. She told me that everything was not the same. I didn't know what she was talking about, but I was shocked.

After that, I didn't know what to do, so I tried to beg her (which now I know that I shouldn't have done that). So, if you think about trying to plead her and beg her to stay with you, don't do that because it is not a good idea at all. Think about it. Do you think that your partner would want to be with a weak person like this? I've done this before and it didn't work at all.

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However, that was just the past. Today, I am with my lovely wife. I did save my marriage and now the relationship is a lot better and stronger than before. How did I do this?

It is easier than you think. If you want to save your marriage, what you need to do is to go against your instincts and emotions. At that time, when I was so desperate, I tried to beg her not to leave me. It was wrong and it didn't help me at all! However, when I stopped doing according to my instincts and started to follow a proven strategy, then I found the right way on how to save my marriage.

But first, if you want to save your marriage, just keep in mind that following your instincts by begging your partner is not considered to be a good idea at all.

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You can definitely save your marriage if you know the methods to do it. No situation is hopeless. Every day, couples get back together after a divorce or breakup and I am sure you can save your marriage too.

To save your marriage, you must first understand the reasons why your marriage is breaking down. There are a lot of possible reasons, such as: lack of open communication, lack of healthy sex life, spending too much time at work, lack of trust, etc. You must find out the underlying reason that causes your marriage to break down and address it right away.

Once you know the real cause, find some time to talk to your spouse about it. Open communication is important to keep your marriage going. During the conversation, do not get into an argument with your spouse. Stay cool and talk nicely.

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One thing that you should never do is to beg your spouse to come back to the family. Begging destroy all chances to save your marriage. It will just make the matter worse and drive your spouse further away.

Next, you should try to rekindle the romance that brought the both of you to tie the knot at the beginning. Small gestures of love and appreciation mean a lot and you can make your spouse remember the time when the both of you were dating.

These are just a few tips to help you save your marriage. Remember, no situation is hopeless.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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