Husband and I Hate Each Other: Slowly Hating My Husband

Ideally when you get married you will stay in love forever, in reality a lot of couples find that the love does not last in their marriage. This does not however mean that the marriage has to end. While few people dream of a loveless marriage it may be a good idea to stay together even if you are no longer in love.

Clearly the first thing that you are going to have to do if you are in a loveless marriage is to honestly think about whether or not you want to stay married. While it is certainly not ideal to remain in a loveless marriage in a lot of cases it is better than the alternatives. You will obviously have to decide what is important to you and if staying married is the best option. You will also have to take your spouses feelings on the subject into consideration. The only way that this is going to work is if you both decide that you want to stay together.

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If you decide that it is worthwhile to stay in a loveless marriage you are going to have to have some difficult conversations with your partner about how it is going to work. Clearly things cannot work the same as they would if you were in a loving marriage. Basically you are going to have to come to what is essentially a business agreement that lays out what you expect out of your partner and what is required from you. While hardly romantic this type of practical approach is really the only option if the love is gone.

One of the most awkward conversations that you are going to have to have is the one that concerns sex. It is pretty unlikely that you are both going to want to give up having a sex life so you are going to have to come to an arrangement. Whether that means that means that you agree to schedule and do it at arranged times or if you decide that you are both going to go outside of the marriage is completely up to you. It does however have to be something that you both agree to.

One thing that you may discover if you start having these conversations is that it may still be possible to rekindle the love that you once had. One of the biggest reasons that couples fall out of love is that they are not able to communicate. If you are going to make a loveless marriage work you are going to have to communicate to work out the details. You may well find that this all of this talking brings you closer together and allows you to fall back in love.

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If your marriage seems to be in trouble, don't simply give up and throw in the towel, especially if you have been married for a long time. You and your spouse have put a lot of effort into your marriage, and it would be such a waste to just throw it all away. There are ways and means to stop your divorce, but it will take some effort from both you and your spouse if you want to stay together.

Remember when you first got married how absolutely perfect everything was then? You thoroughly enjoyed each other's company and nothing pleased you more than when you were together. You did absolutely everything for each other - nothing was too much trouble, as long as you were both happy. What happened to those times?

Only you and your spouse know what went wrong to cause you two to still be together, but do your own thing. If you want to stop your divorce, it is vital that you take some time to sit down together and discuss your problems and what you are gong to do to fix them.

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Make a point of doing things together again - even if it is simply to watch your favorite movie together. This will trigger memories of the happy times you had together, and will encourage you to be together more often as well. Maybe you have been so busy with other things, that you have forgotten how to enjoy each other's company anymore.

Another good idea would be for you and your spouse to go away somewhere together. Perhaps you used to do this in the past, but, just like your conversation, it has all but disappeared as the years have gone by. Again, make a point of going to a place where you went to before, and it will probably make you think about the fantastic times you had together as a couple.

Marriage is hard work, but it doesn't mean that it must be ONLY work that you put into it to keep it on the right track. You HAVE to make time for each other as well - this is so important - how are you going to let each other know that you still love each other, if you don't make the time to do this? Stop your divorce - spend time together and remind each other just how good your marriage used to be. There is every possibility that it can become just as good again.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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When you want to save your marriage, you have to figure out why it is in trouble. Many different things cause marital problems. The good news, though, is that most of these can be fixed.

The reasons for marriages in trouble vary greatly. Lies, cheating, boredom, children, jobs or job losses are just a few. If your spouse had an affair, you should really seek professional help. This isn't a secret, but when you're dealing with deep trust issues, a professional will know best how to help you.

If you opt for marriage counseling, the counselor will be able to find out the reason the cheating took place, and will also be able to tell you ways to heal from such a broken trust issue.

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The secret techniques aren't exactly a secret, but most people never try them. They do the opposite of what they're supposed to do, and wonder why the techniques don't work.

The first technique, when you want to save your marriage, is to leave your spouse alone. Give him or her some room. If you have to, stay with a family member or close friend for a day or two. Make sure your spouse knows that you're not leaving for good, but you think the time away will be best for the both of you.

If, on the other hand, the problem in your marriage is that you don't spend enough time with each other, then you should do the opposite. Plan a weekend getaway, or simply stay home, but devote time for both of you to talk, or do something you both enjoy doing.

These two 'secret' techniques work wonders for marriages in trouble!

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Lizzie and Stu had been married for almost 15 years. Overall they'd both describe the marriage as having been a good one. Now, though, Lizzie was feeling hurt and angry.

Lizzie was on the phone with her sister, trying to explain how she was feeling. Alexis immediately started peppering Lizzie with questions, trying to ferret out the reason for Lizzie's unhappiness. "Is it another woman, Liz? Has he started to drink too much? Is he keeping too tight a grip on the purse-strings? After all, you earn as much as he does? Who does he think he is?!"

"Lexie, stop. It's none of those things. He isn't cheating, he doesn't beat me, he isn't cheap or restricting my spending. You know he doesn't drink. He hasn't started holding up 7-11s either. It's not like that."

"Well, what is it then, Lizzie? He sounds like he's still a great guy."

Lizzie sighed. "He is still a great guy, Lexie, at least to everyone else. It's more that he's just not that nice to me anymore. It's nothing huge; it's more an endless series of small unkindnesses and disrespects."

Just then Stu yelled from upstairs. "Lizzie! Do not tell me that you're on the phone again. You know I wanted the car to be all packed before the night was out."

It was his tone as much as his words that set her teeth on edge. This nasty new habit of his of yelling to her, or at her, from across the house felt so disrespectful.

She turned back to the phone in her hand.

"Did you hear that, Lexie? He's just so... rude. He doesn't treat anyone else like this. He's nice to other people, just not to me."

"So why do you think he's acting like this? Is there trouble at work? Is he not feeling well? Is he worried about something?"

Lizzie sighed again.

"I could probably answer 'yes' to all of those questions, Lexie. His back's been bothering him; the company's having a rough year; and we just don't know what's going on with Sam and school. I get that life isn't all a bowl of cherries for him, or us, right now. I don't need him to be Little Mary Sunshine all the time."

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"What is it that you want, Lizzie?"

"Lexie, I just want him to be nice to me." Lizzie sighed again and said, "Lexie, thanks for listening. I'd best go help get the car packed before he bites my head off."

Lizzie headed upstairs, where she was met at the top of the stairs by Stu, who promptly said, "It's about time!"

Lizzie found herself grinding her teeth rather than striking back at Stu.

Just then Stu's cell rang and he turned to answer the call.

He was talking to their neighbor, Justin, who was apparently asking to borrow Stu's leaf blower.

"No problem, Justin. Come on over; I'll meet you at the garage. No, now is fine; I have time. No, no, just bring it back whenever you're done with it. No problem at all."

Lizzie couldn't help but think that she'd wandered into a remake of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

When Dr. Jekyll hung up the phone, it was Mr. Hyde who spoke to her. "Move it along, Liz. Did you really need to be talking to your sister when I wanted you to help with the packing?"

Lizzie stared at Stu for a moment in disbelief. "Excuse me. You were just as warm and friendly as could be to Justin, with whom you are at most a casual friend, making it clear that you have plenty of time for him. As soon as you speak to me, your wife, you seem to lose any shred of respect or kindness."

"Liz, you know perfectly well that we're running out of daylight for getting the car packed."

"Stu, this is not about getting the car packed. This is about why you can be the nice Stu I married when you're interacting with anyone else, but you just can't seem to be nice to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Liz."

"Look, Stu, you're a good man. I'm just asking for you to treat me with as much consideration and kindness as you would anyone else. Be as considerate of my needs and wishes as you are of Justin's. Is that so much to ask?"

Stu, who really was a good man and who loved Lizzie, could feel the impulse to try to defend himself. But he was also an honest man who recognized that he'd gotten careless and insensitive in his treatment of the person whom he loved most in the world.

He fought down the defensive words and said simply, "I'm sorry, Lizzie."

Now Listen Carefully-

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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