Husband Refuses To Have Joint Bank Account: Married With Separate Bank Accounts - Husband Wants To Keep Finances Separate

Husbands and wives have always fought over money. Mostly when they don't have enough, or one is given to spending and the other is not. Some fight over on what to spend the money. Still many more fight over whether or not to maintain separate bank accounts. It's a problem!

Money and bank accounts are lifeless. They only have the life and power we grant them. It seems that your desire for full disclosure and his desire to withhold full disclosure both fuel the argument when the subject of separate bank accounts comes up.

Certainly, there may be very good reasons to maintain separate bank accounts. For instance, if a husband has been sued for child support and his wages (and assets) are being garnished, the couple decides that they want to ensure the wife's income is not calculated in the judgment. A separate bank account keeps this from happening. Still, the operative words here are, "they decide." This means that disclosure, discussion and agreement has occurred between husband and wife.

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Marriage belongs to God. As such it has a mind and will belonging to God and separate from human agenda. One of the things couples quickly realize and subsequently resist is the unrelenting invasion of privacy that occurs. This is by design and not without purpose. Marriage is about reducing husband and wife to their lowest common denominator that is Christ. This is true, even if one or both spouses do not agree. This is the God ordained direction and flow of much. To this end, we are blessed, broken and reformed.

Your willingness to participate in such self-disclosure in the area of finances is admirable. Yet, I assure you that there will be areas in which you will just as strongly resist such disclosure. Often there is some underlying fear that maintains our resistance. I John 4:18 says:

"There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection]."

Also, II Timothy 2:7 which reads,

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

In marriage, unwillingness to disclose information may due to fear of rejection or abandonment. Husbands and wives benefit when they pray that God deliver each from fear!

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If you are having marital problems, you are in the right place. Sometimes the simplest advice can do wonders for your relationship, so check out these tips to help solve your marital problems.

How To Solve Marital Problems-1

You're going to argue-get used to it! It's okay to argue and fight, it's when it's happening all the time that you need to think that there is a problem. The important thing is to make sure that you are resolving all your arguments fully - if you find yourselves fighting about the same old thing again and again, then you probably need to get to the bottom of that issue to resolve it.

How To Solve Marital Problems-2

Touch each other! I don't mean in an erotic way, although that's okay too, I just mean don't get out of the habit of being physical with each other. Giving your partner a back massage or a neck rub at the end of a hard day can be rewarding for both of you, and will help you keep that physical contact which is important

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How To Solve Marital Problems-3

Understand the fact that you aren't exactly the same people. Most married couples aren't a perfect match for each other, and in many cases that's what makes it work and makes things exciting - what could be more fun than having a partner who is a little unpredictable and suggests things you don't expect. The differences between you should be embraced, not fought against.

How To Solve Marital Problems-4

Keep your broad strokes to yourself. If you are unhappy because he stayed up late playing poker with his buddies, tell him that. Don't expand things into "You always stay up too late!" or whatever. These expansive criticisms will undoubtedly cause more harm than good, as if you are criticising him for so many thing at once, he has no hope of defending himself sensibly, and will resort to plain old arguing.

How To Solve Marital Problems-5

Give your man a break. This is especially valid if you happen to be the homemaker while your husband works. Just give him some time when he comes home from work. All your news and everything may seem super urgent, but if you attack with it as soon as he comes through the door, you'll do more harm than good. Most men need a few minutes to relax and unwind before they want to get involved in anything.

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Divorces can be really ugly. That's why if you want to avoid them, you either do not marry at all or you do everything in your power to avoid it when you do indeed get married. It's crazy but marriage is really like an on - going battle between perfection and committing mistakes. No matter what we do or how much effort we try to put into clouding our eyes from the truth it always sticks out. Marriage is not fun and games. It is all about living the real life. Sure, the road leading towards the pre- nuptial reception and everything are the only fun parts. Everything that follows has a slightly "serious" tone. That's where the scary part happens because you start to see yourself change. With all the trials and challenges that will come your way, it will always be hard to keep your sanity level in check. Nonetheless, do not let it eat you up. Otherwise, you'll be hearing that dreaded word from your wife. You wouldn't want that would you? So, how do you stop your divorce from ever happening to you?

1. Keep the fire burning

This sounds tad bit cheesy but you need to do things for your wife that would maintain the passion in your marriage. The problem with most of the members of the man's club is that they think that their wife will only have eyes for them. Everybody wishes that but if you slack off, those eyes will be yours' no more. So one prescription that I would like to give is to surprise with gifts or saying "I love you" every now and then. Women appreciate even simplest things and one small gesture that really go miles. In addition, never forget special occasions that involve the heart such as Valentine's Day or your Wedding Anniversary. Men who forget will always find an enemy in their wife along with her friends. This is a great way to stop your divorce from every materializing in your life.

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2. Never let your problems be your life

Men have this nasty tendency to bring their problems to the dinner table. Instead of talking about happy things, it becomes a regular routine week after week. Your wife may take the first few occurrences as an outburst but continuous happenings of the same thing may lead to something not pretty. Remember, it is OK to involve your wife in some brainstorming sessions to kill those problems but do not let it be the focal point of your life. You let problems beat you up and you will end up looking worse than Rip Van Winkle.

Doing the aforementioned may just stop your divorce from every happening. Just remember, if you want more tips then it is always safe to consult a marriage counselor for pointers.

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What makes a good marriage is more than hard work. Many happy marriage tips focus on staying aware of the fact that marriage is a partnership. Many times couples lose their focus and feel like lone rangers in their marriage. That's why finding ways to keep that special spark alive is so vital to a marriages' success.

Avoiding temptations to do things that will hurt your partner is another thing to focus on. Always respect your partner, either in opinions, or in ideas. Keeping things on an even basis and not getting involved in power struggles. Compromise, forgiveness, understanding, and leaving pride at the doorstep are some key elements to a good marriage relationship.

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One of the most common happy marriage tips is in the area of communication. When a couple loses the ability to express their ideas and opinions, then a one-side relationship can occur, which will leave them needing help, and not doing what makes a good marriage. It takes both sides enforcing their commitment to the success of the marriage daily.

Keeping your sex life exciting is a very common area of failure for many. Learning to give your partner the attention they need, in spite of what's going on at the job or around you is also a key component of a successful marriage.

These happy marriage tips are vital parts of what makes a good marriage, and should be taken seriously by all married couples who sincerely desire a successful marriage that will make it until death does them part.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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