Husband Shows No Affection Unless Drunk: Husband Is Only Affectionate When Drunk

A healthy sexual relationship is an integral part of a fulfilling partnership, which is reason enough to make good sex a worthy pursuit. The trouble is, while sex often provides great pleasure, it can just as often provoke stress. Are you satisfying your partner? Are your sexual encounters frequent enough? Do they last long enough? There are all sorts of questions you can ask. But really only one is relevant:

Are the needs of both partners being met?

There is no other way to know this than to talk about it. Often people are shy about discussing sex, sometimes because they are not used to verbalizing about it and aren't comfortable with something new. Or they don't have an adequate vocabulary to express their feelings. It helps to start simply, with familiar feelings. Do you both look forward to sex? Do you feel pleasure during sex? Afterward, do you feel satisfied? Is it generally an enjoyable experience? If you and your partner answer positively, then your sexual relationship is working for you.

But what if there's resentment, guilt, anger or even dread?

Negative feelings are often caused by a disparity in sexual desire. One partner has a greater sexual drive than another. When the disparity is minimal, couples can usually find an amicable compromise. But when the disparity is great, the partner with less desire often feels put upon to have sex when he or she doesn't want to, which can lead to guilt or resentment. If the partner with more desire is insistent, the partner with less desire may give in, but perhaps with a bit of anger.

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On the other hand, the partner with more desire may begin to feel deprived and even unloved. This creates a need for a confirmation of love, and that partner may become even more insistent about having sex. That kind of pressure produces the opposite of the desired result because the partner with less desire may push back even more in his or her defense, and at some point, can lose interest entirely.

This kind of impasse often requires help from a professional. The solution may involve taking baby steps to get back to a point where no one is pressured but both partners' needs are adequately met. That can be a slow process during which it is helpful to talk to each other about how you feel. When both partners understand the other's point of view, and want to please each other, they can come to a satisfactory compromise.

What if one partner wants to try something that the other doesn't?

There is a wide range of sexual behavior, and certainly if it is dangerous, harmful or repulsive, no one should be made to participate. But it is useful to have an open mind about trying new things. After all, good sex involves pleasing your partner, and if trying something new would please him or her, why not? If it doesn't work out, or you find you really dislike it, then you don't have to try it again. Or, if this issue becomes a source of serious conflict, then counseling may be in order.

How can couples optimize their sexual relationship?

The irony of a great sexual experience is that it begins when you take your mind off yourself and focus on your partner. You can talk with your partner to determine what s/he likes, or instead of verbalizing, you can encourage him or her to guide your hand while making love. When both partners think of the other first, then chances are both will find sexual satisfaction. Being thoughtful and considerate of your partner is a wonderful aphrodisiac.

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Are you wondering how you can fix your sexless marriage? An all too common situation is where the husband does not want sex, but unfortunately, this problem is very rarely addressed.

Lovemaking is vital to the health of a marriage. It is something that deepens the love of a couple, and makes them more connected. When one of them looses interest in sex, it is a terrible blow to the self esteem of the other spouse, as well as their feeling of security in the relationship. There is also a much higher instance of divorces and affairs in marriages that fall into the category of "sexless marriages". And by the way, that doesn't just mean never, it can also mean that sex happens very rarely.

One of a woman's greatest needs is to feel loved and desired, so if her husband does not want to have sex, a woman will often feel devastated, rejected, and certain that there must be something wrong with her.

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With all of the negative emotions a woman is feeling at this time, it is much too common that she will not do anything about it. She feels that can't speak to her husband about it, as he just brushes her off-- or worse, mocks her for wanting sex. To speak about the issue to a friend would be exposing too much, she'd be admitting that her husband finds her so unattractive and undesirable, that he won't have sex with her.

But the only way to change the situation and fix your sexless marriage is to do something about it, and that's the first step: realizing that you can. You also need to know, right off the bat, that the situation is not your fault, nor does it mean that your husband thinks you're not attractive. A sexless marriage is almost always just a reflection of problems in the relationship that need to be addressed. And very often you may not even have realized that these problems exist. Sometimes they just come as time goes on.

Realize that as a woman, you have a unique power to change the direction your marriage is headed. To start, try to get a cleared understanding of how men think and feel about sex and relationships. Then you can look at your life and see what the obstacles are that have made it so that your husband does not want sex. You can then fix your sexless marriage by making changes in how you are relating to him, and make him want and initiate sex whenever you want to have it.

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Marriage and Attraction: Relation is successful as long as there is attraction between the partners. Attraction of actions, attentiveness, beauty, behaviour, caring nature, sexual satisfaction and etc, contribute to prolong relation. Activities to attract partner becomes slow and casual as involves in normal and daily responsibilities leads to escaping the second role. A person has mainly two roles in married life, one for spouse and the other with Job/ responsibilities. Partner and family attraction influences to conduct responsibilities to benefit the family and thus the involvement in responsibilities intensifies that elapses attention to spouse. Especially women undergo this stage involving intensely in their free services of taking care of children and maintaining house. After reaching from office male partner expects his wife fresh and sexy who is heavily tired of hardship. A disappointment is the major factors for fading attraction towards her.

Men too face this situation when they deeply involve themselves in their responsibilities in office or elsewhere. Failure to give time for the family or wife is the serious complaint, woman in the house does not grasp thus blames husband for the negligent behaviour. Both become responsible for dieing away attraction to keep healthy relation. Attraction of partner normally fades as time passes; this is natural and the real truth.

Marriage and external attraction/infidelity: Fading attraction drives to incline towards fresh and new attractions so can gratify self and fulfil what is lost. Those who are exposed to external environment are easily dragged towards these attractions. Each woman or man working are exposed to external atmosphere, is bound to hate or approve one of many she/ he meets or contacts as behaviour of an individual influences others to observe and analyse personality as good or bad or so-so; (look, character, action and etc) in all conditions of yes or no or so-so has the ability to attract in negative or positive one to like and another to despise, so-so characters generally lack to attract deeply as becomes normal. Escaping from this situation is impossible as the brain reacts instantly to beware for right or wrong. The approval indicates the acceptance of personality that matches own. In the offices and other work places spouses meet their colleagues of both sexes. Working men and women spend more on working hours than staying with spouse. Spend most of their day with them eating, chatting, and joking etc; these develop warm relation to step further to get closer.

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Working woman of strong character having happy married life limits to move forward and strong character with shattered married life will definitely move forward to get closer, will not even care the social impact. On the other hand woman of weak characters are easily motivated to luxury of emotions irrespective of home atmosphere. As far as men are concerned major percentage believe if she agrees I will not miss the golden opportunity but many would wish secretly in order to avoid any clash at home. This is the dream and an expectation of a man, yes, if the relation at home is unsatisfactory becomes journey to heaven. However, no one can stop imagining the dominant personality of colleague (opposite-sex). That means colleague's personality has influenced enough to remember and entered in the life. Now working woman/ man maintains relation with two, one physical relation and the other in imagination. The comparison of spouse and the colleague begins, environmental effect of home and spouse if is stronger he/she inclines towards home and if not the affection starts with the colleague. Colleague's initiation helps to establish union, some manage secret relation and some dare to get rid of old relationship.

Sexual appetite is essential need of an adult. Some are content and some have great desire due to genetic characteristic, for them controlling sexual desire is very difficult. They need to extinguish their hunger so are in hunt for buddy. Most women control their sexual desire despite inadequate sexual appetite; such people are normally upset, restless, tedious and etc; in their life. Sexual appetite is natural process connected with our body and brain functioning, as the relief is by the process of releasing so controlling is not normal can lead to major psychological diseases such as depression, sickness and lifelessness etc; are enough to invite blood pressure, mental and physical problems etc.

Reasons for a woman and man to get involved in extra marital relation may be as I feel:

1. Powerful emotional and physical attraction of a colleague or other associate pulls the mind and heart to submit.

2. Dissatisfaction and boring emotional and physical relation with spouse leads extra marital relation. Dull life especially women live in home waiting long-long for spouse.

3. Lack of motivation for deep involvement in home activities.

4. Fading spouse's sexual attraction is a step to establish extra marital relation.

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5. For woman it is also revenge the spouse in cruel relation.

6. Genetic characteristics of individual for emotional and sexual desire for more sex, variety, addiction, curiosity, drawing opposite sex's attention to become special.

7. Open mind for the relation. "Ok, I do not mind having extra relation as we now in modern society".

8. Weak and submissive behaviour to submit to other's intentions.

Every one is honest as long as doesn't get the opportunity. Most prefer to follow social norms and do not act, who act are either careless or their necessity or desire overcomes the society norms. It does not mean those who follow social norms are honest, they too have the feelings and desires which they repress in order to avoid facing social consequences, indicates they are emotionally prepared for relation but social boundaries do not permit. It is emotional suicide in order to avoid physical suicide; each of us has a desire for fulfilment of emotional and physical needs because our body and brain cells require them for smooth functioning. In absence of emotional and physical attachment, our entity forces us to understand the necessity, so when meet suitable person the brain cells react to inform us, act as this is a need in order to avoid miserable and dull life. We act by direction of the entity and the brain in order to fulfil its requirements depending on the character. Both social accountability and the entity clash in our mind, which ever overpowers directs us to act. For women; in most cases social accountability comes forward and she murders own desires. She indulges only in case of awful relation or vengeance or too strong attraction conquers her.

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For the cheated partner it is infidelity as long as cheater is living and sharing family affairs. It is natural that no one would wish partner to share sexual emotions and relation with someone else, it hurts and gives pain to the heart as both are assets of each other. Relation breaks as no one would prefer to stay together with dishonest companion unless one is so grateful to forgive and forget the dishonesty. As long as there are wife and husband and marriage; extra marital relation will be illegal - deceitful and will be called "INFIDELITY". As for both wife and husband, it is an issue of dependability, security, emotion of togetherness as wife and husband, sharing and sacrificing life to maintain family and status pop and mom. Women are more concerned as family is their security, togetherness and life. All dreams of family and its future collapses in case of any one switches to extra marital relation. This becomes dishonesty married family. Each of find the reasons as why did she/he go for it was he/she not happy. If not, why? What can I or children do for it? I feel some as:

1. In order to avoid partner diverting mind invite and motivate his/her deep involvement in family activities.

2. Revitalize the faded attraction of home and self this is magnet prevents from thinking others. Lifeless homes are not homes.

3. Thinking home and kids before getting attracted to strong characters will restrict to limitations.

4. Emotional involvement of the partner towards family by reminding responsibilities and emotional touch up.

5. Psychological treatment of weak character of sexually addicted partner.

6. Respect the identity and integrity of a partner.

7. Wrong and cruel atmosphere of the home is instigation to find better.

8. Many women in the offices are influenced by bosses for sexual favour. This uncommon behaviour is common in many offices. Under these circumstances husband is best to advise to tackle the situation, risking job is no matter if husband prefers to handle legally with such people.

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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