I Don't Feel Loved By My Husband: I Don't Feel Important To My Husband - How To Feel Loved By Your Husband

My friend came to me and said, "I feel my husband doesn't love me anymore and wants to divorce." If you find yourself in the same situation, this condition doesn't mean the end of your life. You must remember the glorious days of courtship and the dreamy days of honeymoon soon start fading after some time in marriage. For first few days or months both the spouses try to impress each other by being overly sweet with each other. Then there arrives the situation when both start taking each other for granted. This is the point when husband starts distancing himself from his wife. This is the signal that your relationship is about to experience some stress and strain.

Sometimes you notice that your spouse has started spending more time out of the house or has picked up new activities so that he can stay away from home for maximum period of time. Men generally do not want to face strained relationships and try to avoid their partners. It is a signal that he doesn't love you anymore.

If your husband is trying to avoid any kind of conversation with you, big or small, it is another signal for you that there is something wrong with your relationship. However do not jump to the conclusion that he wants divorce. In most of the cases it is not true.

My advice write on a piece of paper," I feel my husband doesn't love me anymore and wants to divorce. I can win my husband's confidence and love back". A simple but powerful psychological trick that will help you to put your mind in a place of happiness and relaxation. All you have to do is to take few steps back. Always keep in mind that your husband also needs some space just like you do. Therefore try not to be a nagging wife. Try to understand that there must be some work related stress that is causing all these unpleasant changes in your married life.

Show your husband that you care about him and are interested in his hobbies and other activities, but avoid being too persuasive that may result in further damage. Change yourself to bring back that spark in your married life.

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Counselling is the first step you should take if you want to save your marriage and sort out conflicts with your partner. Even though it might feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger about your problems, this initial fear will disappear once you realise that such professional help and thoughtfulness are really effective. It is natural for either one of you to be sceptical at first. And in a worst case scenario this intervention might even cause tensions to deepen further. In such a case it will be of great help to simply address your conflict by making use of the advice normally given to couples in a similar situation. However, every conflict comes with different sources of disagreement, meaning relevance is something to consider when absorbing such advice.

1.Forgiveness Goes Further Than You think

When couples argue there are always the usual disagreements which never really come to a fair resolution. Generally disagreements are blame games whereby couples point fingers at each other. Regular fighting always leads to serious bitterness during which painful words are spoken in the heat of anger. If you both want to see your marriage work you must agree to forget past mistakes and arguments. Of course it is natural to remember hurtful words and comments, but if you take a little time to forgive each other for what you may have said to each other, you will actually be able to fix any prior damage.

2.Think Before Speaking

Take a little time to think before you speak, especially when past bones of contention are brought up carelessly. Breathing is an excellent way of relaxing during the heat of the moment as it allows oxygen to rush to your head, the substance that makes the brain tick. You can also try walking into a different room from your partners' as this helps you calm down. Afterwards you can then have a relaxed conversation without bringing up ant issues. But always ensure that you express how you feel in a way that does not worsen the argument.

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3.Agree to Disagree

A lot of marriage couples labour under the incorrect impression that they have to agree when it comes to easing tensions. Having different points of view does not mean you are headed for the dumpster. You must learn to understand the differences between you and your partner and to accept the fact that you are both entitled to your own opinions. Ask yourself if the source of conflict is really worth putting your marriage on the stake.

4.Avoid The Game Of Blaming One Another

Abstain from pointing fingers at each other's faults or blaming each other for certain things that happen. Generalisations like: 'you are always...' and 'you never' do not serve the purpose of making communication better between the two of you as you will start to resent each other more than in the very beginning. Dwell more on your strengths instead, while accepting the fact that none of you is perfect.

5.Listen In Order To learn

It is always hard to pay attention when someone is talking about your weaknesses. Listening skills are important in any relationship because they show respect and that someone is appreciated. It is far much easier to reach a solution when someone speaks and they feel they are being heard.

If you have reached a stage in your relationship where you have to work on it working you cannot expect to see results the next day. It is very important to be steadfast and patient.

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If, in the first place, it was you who decided to divorce and now you are wondering "How to stop my divorce" you are probably well placed to be able to recuperate your relationship. You will have to apologies to your wife and, so doing, suffer a little embarrassment. Say you moved without thinking, too fast, and that you are sincerely sorry. Tell her you no longer wish to divorce her, or that you acted because you were furious and you never wanted to in the first place, but say you made a mistake and excuse yourself.

This is always difficult to do but you owe it to your wife and yourself. It was you who talked about divorce, and you have set your wife thinking and she might also be thinking this is the way to go. You must find out what your wife thinks of our suggestion and explain to her that you made a mistake if you wish to know "how to stop my divorce." You will likely save your relationship just by doing this, unless your wife has taken the time to think things over and has concluded that a divorce was the best solution for you both.

You are likely going to have some serious explaining to do if you are asking "How to stop my divorce" when all the time you did not wish to have a divorce. It's probably not the first time you have asked for a divorce only to realize your mistake, and a lot will depend on how you have spoken to your wife.

Handle matter in an adult manner. Divorces are usually complicated and unpleasant affairs that can hurt both the partners. Imploring your wife to give the marriage another try as you do not want to divorce her and shouting at each other and ending the marriage are two completely different things. If you shout and gesticulate at your wife you may make her realize that she does not want to live any more with you. You must control your temper and resentment you have you have displayed towards your wife by suggesting the divorce in the first place.

You must show your wife you understand she is not happy with your marital situation and that you are prepared to make the necessary effort to improve things. Agree that there must be an improvement if you are to continue living together. Insist that you don't want to divorce, that you will work on your marital problems and suggest that you could both benefit from outside help with marital counseling.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Professional help can work, as long as you know what to look for and where to find it and, after that, how to approach it.

First of all, both you and your spouse need to both be committed to such professional help. If you are dragging your spouse whilst he or she is kicking and screaming in protest, it will not work out. So, both of you need to agree that this is going to drastically improve your relationship and fully commit to it.

There are two types of professional help you can seek: a counselor or a psychologist. If you are simply arguing about money or about why one of you leaves the toilet seat up, a counselor will help you find a better way to understand each other and communicate successfully with each other.

But if your problems are deep, if you have fallen out of love, if you find you hate your spouse at times (or if he/she hates you), then a certified, experienced psychologist will be best for you. They will resolve deep issues you may not even be aware of and truly help you find the love, the passion and the excitement you once had, in a way that is going to be even better than it used to be.

Make sure that your chosen professional has a track record you can check and verify; don't be convinced by a couple of degrees stuck to his/her wall: verify that he/she is truly a registered psychologist/counselor, something that's easy to do. Just type 'find a psychologist's credentials' on your search engine page and you will see several free sites offering such information, such as national registers of psychologists in your area. Choose a professional first, according to your own personal preference and then check his/her credentials.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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