“I just have to get this article done tonight.” The world might come to an end if I don’t. No one ever told me I had to get it done. The sad part is I may not get it done on time because I had to go to town to get new shoelaces. Do you get my sarcasm and the utter distaste for words like “have” and “had”? We don’t have to do anything. And the reality is I never had to write any updates for any site or anybody. I do things because I want to, not because I have too.

Some would say I’m living in a fantasy world by saying that I don’t have to do anything. Do I have to work? It is nice if I do work, it makes life a lot easier but I don’t have to work. I’ve been homeless and would never want to return to that lifestyle again but I won’t use that as my warden to keep me a prisoner with a job.

What got me going on this was a recent e-mail I received. It is kind of a personal newsletter, set up in a way like a blog. This person made a comment that they had to go and get a funeral remembrance card for their grandmother. To me, that sounded quite cold. If I had to get a card for a church service for someone who I supposedly loved than it was just for show. I would get that card because I wanted to get it. I would get that card because I loved and cared deeply for that person. I wouldn’t get it to impress other family members or for that matter friends that receive my e-mails. If I did it for that reason, than yes, I would have to get that card.

My point being that we are spiritual beings, hopefully strong enough to be free from what the outside world thinks and strong enough to realize that living by what our ego wants is no way to live. The greatest gift my Higher Power gave to me in this life is the freedom of choice.

With this freedom, I have the choice to go to work or stay home. I have the choice to get drunk tonight or stay sober. Did I just say that? I can get drunk tonight? I can, but tonight I choose to stay sober. If I have to stay sober, than eventually I will get drunk. That is to much pressure to stay sober – because I have too.

The next time you think you have to do something, think about it. Does it really have to be done? And more importantly make it your choice to do it. Seven years ago I was flat broke and deep in debt. Today I have some money and live debt free. I lived for nearly two years with no luxuries. I lived on the bare minimum not because I had to, but rather because I wanted too. I was tired of being broke, scrounging around for every penny I could find. So I changed my life. I changed it so I could be free from the shackles of money. I did it so money would not be my god.

Whatever it takes remove the words “had” and “have” from your vocabulary. Don’t write it, don’t say it, don’t use it. They are ugly words and they continue to keep you trapped as a victim.

Author's Bio: 

Dave Harm is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for over 20 years. He is an NLP Master Practitioner, Hypnotist, and Life Coach. He is the author of three books and the creator of two musical CD's.

He shares his experience and journey on his website www.daveharm.com