I Don't Love My Husband Anymore But He Loves Me: Not In Love With My Husband Anymore What Do I Do

Marriage counselors often hear one or both partners in a marriage say, "But I just don't love him/her anymore. When I hear someone say that, I have to wonder if they really loved that person in the first place.

What is love, anyway? Is it that quickened heartbeat when the object of our affections walks by or the agonizing longing to see them when we are apart? Or maybe it's the desire to be with them every minute of every day, and the inability to see any fault, no matter how obvious to others, in that person we care about?

Most experts would say these feelings are not love, but infatuation; that love is a quality that takes time to develop. Even people who believe in love at first sight will admit that those first feelings quickly subsided and were replaced with something else. That something else is difficult to define but I like to describe it as a desire to serve one's mate. A truly happy and loving marriage, one that is likely to survive any problems that may come against it, is one in which both partners have that desire to serve each other.

By this, I mean that each person in the marriage should arrive at a place where they place the needs of the other above their own needs.

Let's face it---we are living in a time when we encourage parents to cater to their children's whims. If a child wants something, they usually manage to whine or bully one parent or the other into getting it for him. Is it any wonder that these same children grow up expecting a spouse to cater to them in the same way?

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You've probably seen marriages where one spouse or the other is demanding and their partner, sometimes just to keep the peace, bends over backwards to fulfill each demand. This may go on for a lifetime, or, eventually, the person who is expected to make like easy for the other reaches the breaking point and calls it quits. The marriage has become a contest where one seems to see how much he or she can "get" from the other and one strives to "buy" love by being the constant "giver."

Real love can be observed in marriages where both partners are quick to recognize a need or even a desire their partner has and do whatever he or she can to fulfill it. There is no keeping score. Giving is just a natural thing. If the dishwasher needs emptying, there is no heated discussion over whose turn it is to empty it. The first one to notice it takes care of the job. If one of the two hates seafood, a loving husband or wife of that person would not insist on going to a seafood restaurant.

So, what about the person who says to a marriage counselor, "I just don't love him or her any more?" Is it too late to save their marriage?

Not at all. Believe it or not, you can learn, or re-learn to love someone. Just think of all the marriages in the world that are arranged by the couple's parents. Many of these couple learn to love each other deeply.

The trick is in wanting to. Forget all the romantic ideas you may have had about love when you first got married. Instead, start incorporating loving actions into your relationship with your spouse. Be thoughtful. If something needs to be done, do it.

Ask for your mate's opinion rather than just making decisions on your own all the time. Watch the news so you will have an interesting topic to discuss with each other over dinner. Don't be stingy with hugs. Refuse to be negative. Ask if there is anything they need you to do for them.

"What do these things have to do with love?" you may be thinking. Much more than you think. When we go out of our way to see to the needs of others---to make life good for them---we become invested in them. and, when they become recipients of unselfish care for them, they are likely to respond in kind.

If the bloom of that first love you had for your husband or wife seems to have disappeared, you can replace it with something better. Decide today that you are going to spend the next month working to make life good for your partner and you may be surprised at what happens.

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Sometimes when you become dissatisfied in your marriage you sometimes aren't sure of what you want. Some women stay and try and save it, others leave to escape the unhappiness of it. The bottom line is that women are more concerned about their marriage than their husbands are.

When the marital problems are created by the husband and he is doing very little if anything to try and help resolve the issues. You will begin seeing yourself as the lone problem solver and sooner or later you give up.

In all fairness to husbands some wives have and do make demands that are totally out of reach. This can add a huge pressure on a husband who is already emotionally exhausted because he just can seem to do enough.

A lot of women take this as an act of mental or emotional abuse and because of this tend to want to leave the marriage more often. Surprisingly more wives will stay with a husband that is physically abusing them and the kids, than try and leave, even when she is threatened.

A physically abusive marriage or one that is filled with infidelity, alcoholism, verbal, mental or emotional abuse are reasons that make you want to get out. Threats or acts of violence is never a reason to stay, when your life is in danger, seek help. Never allow yourself or your children to be targeted as a means to keep you keep you in an unhappy dangerous situation.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Saving a marriage when things are on the rocks is a challenge. Fortunately, it is possible to preserve your relationship even when it looks utterly impossible to stop a divorce. It's not a matter of love finding a way, it's a matter of you taking action to protect love.

Taking action. That's where it all starts and it's the toughest step in the process. You're emotionally raw and drained. Things seem so bleak. The idea of rebuilding your marriage into something wonderful feels like such a long shot. It can be difficult to find the spark that will convince you to take another chance. It's hard to find the motivation to strive for something great when everything feels so rotten.

Nonetheless, action is required. Faith, hope and wishful thinking won't be the deciding factor in saving a marriage--action will be. You need to find it within yourself to take that next step and to be proactive. Love can't find its way through this maze without your help.

Saving a marriage isn't just a matter of doing something, though. It's a matter of doing the right thing. The exact nature of the required action will undoubtedly vary based on individual circumstances, but there are patterns and general blueprints for action that work for almost everyone. These expert-devised plans should guide your actions, not your instincts.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Your hunches and best guesses haven't worked so far and now the stakes are higher than ever before. This isn't the time for guesswork. It's the time to rely on an expert approach with a track record of success. Your marriage hangs in the balance--it only makes sense to listen to those who really understand human relationships and marriage repair.

Having a good plan will help on the motivation front, too. It's much easier to find the inspiration to take necessary action when you know you have a good shot at saving a marriage from divorce. It's empowering and motivational, capable of providing the spark you need to take action now.

Saving a marriage isn't always easy, but the rewards are great. You can preserve your special connection and build a lasting, stable, fulfilling and loving marriage. You aren't stuck in the status quo and you aren't doomed to face a divorce. You have an alternative. Take a second chance on love and stop your divorce.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Have you been struggling to make your marriage work but it looks like nothing is working? Here is an account of my personal experience in overcoming marital problems and saving my marriage. And hopefully, you will learn something vital from this keep your marriage review.

I was a happy girlfriend to my husband for five years before we decided to get married. And on our wedding day, I was thinking that that was just the start of our wedded bliss. I knew that we will go through struggles like when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. But since we have already spent 5 years of being together, I knew that we can overcome any struggle.

Little did I know that things can change once we get married. The little things that we used to fight about are now causing friction in our marriage. Our fights started happening more frequent and we even started to avoid seeing each other around the house. And our spats get so big that we end up playing the blame game to no end.

I never thought that our marriage will become a nightmare. I never thought that the day would come wherein I would consider our marriage a mistake. I always thought that my husband and I will never ever think about getting a divorce. Unfortunately, the thought of getting a divorce crossed both our minds. And to make the situation worse, my husband does not want marriage counselling.

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I did not know what to do anymore. I have tried asking for advice from family and friends but all these were not effective. As much as I did not want to admit it, divorce crossed my mind for a lot of times.

One day while I was reading one blog to another, I saw a post about the eBook called Keep Your Marriage. The blog post was about another woman's struggle in her marriage and how the eBook helped her in saving it. I looked for other published testimonials and user reviews. And I was amazed at the number of happy users who published their testimonials about the book.

With hope, I bought the eBook and started reading it right away. At first, I was thinking that I have tried some of the tips there and they failed. But as I got deeper into reading the book, I was able to get more insights on how to save my marriage.

While reading the eguide, I immediately applied what I learned from it and I was amazed at the results. In just a few days, my husband was talking to me again. A few weeks after, my husband asked me out on a date and I was even more surprised when he told me that he was sorry for thinking of getting a divorce. The eBook was indeed the answer that I have been searching for. You can look for another keep your marriage review to see it how it has changed so many marriages.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

Looking for love and romance can be challenging. Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com