I Don't Respect My Husband Anymore: When Respect Is Lost In a Marriage

Did you know that the song, "Respect" by Arethra Franklin was actually sang from a man's point of view to a woman first, before it became a smash hit for the feminist movement in the 1960s?

Pretty crazy, I know, but it's the truth. Us guys want respect as much you do. However, this isn't the focus of this article. This point is about self-respect, from the female point of view.

Regardless of how long you've been in a relationship, you can never learn enough about understanding men. We often regarded as the intellectually inferior gender but ultimately, you have chosen to be with us because there is something of value that we have that you want.

If we've chosen to be committed to you, be careful to not let yourself go. A lot of women simply lose sense of themselves and dedicate themselves too much to the one man. They stop having a life and their friends get distant from them. Not a good thing to happen.

Women who don't respect themselves are viewed and pushovers. They're the ones who are called "easy" and who always get dumped in a relationship. They're clingy, they're desperate and there's not much that's attractive about them.

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Men WANT to pursue women. A big factor in pursuing women is having the woman being desirable enough to be pursued.

So how does a woman be desirable? She has to always be aware of what she's doing for the man and what she's not doing.

It's something I always do in my relationship with my girlfriend. When she asks me to do something, I just straight out tell her, "go do it yourself, you're a big girl now." Other times, I silently go ahead and do it without her asking.

My sister when she was younger was terrible at respecting herself. She once went all the way to her ex's place to give him a "late" birthday present (by 3 months), only to have him say that he can't take it home because it's too big.

She was on a train for an hour and walked with this huge, collectible, toy race car track for half an hour to his place, only for him to turn her down.

He didn't ask for it, she thought she'd be an awesome girlfriend for doing it. No self-respect, not a good look.

Make the effort, but get your head on straight and only do it if he respects you, because you're respecting yourself. See, understanding men isn't difficult. Respect yourself and we'll respect you in return.

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You may be in the position of seeing your marriage falling apart and need help to save your marriage. You need some professional tips to save your relationship, if in fact you do really want to keep your marriage alive and thriving.

One of the most interesting things about marriage relationships is that often when they are in need of saving the person who wants to keep the marriage intact believes the way to do that is to try and change the other person. When in fact the opposite is true. You must look at yourself and your role in the marriage and change yourself first. Maybe your partner is the problem but if you don't change as well then you will only make the problems worse.

You see, when you only blame the other person and don't look to see if there is some way you can change too then you are being selfish. And being selfish in the marriage relationship will doom your marriage. Remember that the two of you married to become one. If you are only thinking the world revolves around you alone then your selfishness is contrary to the vows you took as man and wife. So if you sacrifice a little bit of your thinking that you are the one and only one and the marriage should revolve around your needs then you will be on your way to saving your marriage. You can choose to live as one or you can choose to live as two joined as one. The choice is yours.

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To help save your marriage you also have to communicate with your partner. If you hold your feelings in then one day you will explode and say things that will destroy the marriage permanently. Now, this doesn't mean to open up about everything all at once. Choose your time and your words wisely. By starting to share with your partner how you are feeling about the current situation in your marriage you will release the steam valve that is building up between the two of you. When you release the pressure of how you are feeling you begin to heal the marital problems.

Now is the time to see what it is you can live with and what you need your partner to change.

Don't make something small into a bigger problem than it needs to be. Sometimes, if we love our spouse and want to save the marriage we can decide to overlook some of the small things that are bothering us and work on only those big issues that, if they are not changed, will end the marriage for good. Start to make a list or just think of what it is that you really want in your partner. Things that if you didn't have them you would not be able to exist within the marital bounds. Find the root of the problem and try to change it in yourself or your mate. Do not make too many demands for change all at once. Go easy on each other.

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It has been my experience that relationships periodically need an infusion of renewed attention. People need newness and pleasure because without it life can become rather routine. Frequently couples who have been together for many years find that their lives have settled into routine comfortableness but they have lost passion and excitement in the process. However at some point one or both feel a restlessness and the struggle to infuse change in to their lives begins. Any action taken by one will affect the balance of the relationship and hopefully together they will find ways to add newness into their lives.

I am a firm believer that when the internal voice says: "I want something more" it is important to listen. It could that it is time to develop new interests as an individual and/or it could be desiring more fun and closeness in the relationship.

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These are healthy desires because we all grow when we stretch our minds and bodies. In reality is is necessary for optimum life satisfaction. Without challenging ourselves life becomes routine. I see this desire for change as a necessary positive step in a relationship. When one person wants change it does affect the other. It is how they handle this as a couple will make all the difference. This is when it is important to talk about this need for change with each other. Whenever any change is introduced it affect both. They question to ask is what do I need to do personally so I can be happy and what do we need to do as a couple that will bring us closer and recharge our relationship.

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There is no way to predict whether or not true love can come into our lives.

It is next to impossible to try to determine the exact time and place where it will occur. All we know is that when it happens, we know it is the one love we've been waiting for. This is why when and if something goes wrong with the whole experience of loving, we experience pain. Why does true love hurt and can we truly protect ourselves?

When expectations and reality don't meet

Many of us have erroneous beliefs regarding love. This leads us to create false expectations about the whole experience. In our minds, we build an idealized version of what we think true love should be and how it should happen in our lives.

The problem is, the reality of true love is much more complicated and very often, far from being the perfect experience that we have created in our minds. When our expectations and the real experience of love clash, we are hurt and disappointed.

What we don't realize is that by creating a false representation of what love should be in our minds, we actually make ourselves more vulnerable to pain, merely because we aren't ready for what reality can give.

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When loss causes pain

Once we experience true love, we do all we can to keep it in our lives because we realize its value and importance. We invest in it, giving it our time, effort and good intentions.

For some, it can sometimes be consuming. This is why if love is lost, we feel the loss so badly that we hurt. This is because we know in our hearts that the experience is unique and may never happen again, at least not in the same way.

Protecting yourself: is it possible?

The one thing that is unique about the experience of true love is that it allows you to open yourself up to another human being. This act is meant to reveal yourself so the other person could get to know you. This openness is also expected of you, particularly if you're in a relationship.

The drawback is that by allowing another person to find out about you, you leave certain parts of yourself exposed and fully vulnerable. Should your loved one commit a mistake, that could hurt you in many ways.

But can you truly protect yourself?

The irony is that the only way you can prevent from being hurt by true love is to refuse the experience. But by doing so, you miss out. So the key is to let love in, do your best to keep it and if it hurts you (and it will somehow), to just accept that it is part of the whole experience.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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