I Make More Money Than My Husband: My Husband Earns Less Than Me Financially

A recent feature on Fox News told us about the increasing trend among newly married younger couples for the wife to be making more money than the husband.

My first thought was "And how is this a problem, and for whom?"

Apparently it is a big problem for some.

Wisdom from Darren Stevens

Are you familiar with the old '60s TV sitcom "Bewitched" starring Elizabeth Montgomery? It still shows up every now and then on Nick at Nite and was made into a movie a few years ago.

If you are not familiar with the plot, here it is - Darren and Samantha Stevens are a typical 1960s couple, with Darren as the bread-winning architect husband and Samantha as the beautiful homemaker. The only wrinkle is that Samantha has this unique ability to wiggle her nose and make anything happen and/or appear out of thin air and Darren tries to get her to stop using her abilities and be "normal."

Did you get that last line? Here is a guy who has a wife that could get them anything they ever wanted and he was trying to get her to stop!

Don't be a Darren Stevens!

Even as a little kid in the '60s I thought Darren Stevens was a complete idiot!

So my suggestion on how to handle the situation when the wife is making more money than the husband is simply this -

celebrate it and enjoy it!

If you are a man and are intimidated by the fact that your wife makes more money than you, get over it! Get your own ego out of the way and celebrate the gifts of your wife and the gift of your wife.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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Marriage self help is really the only kind of help that there is for marriage. Marriage counseling is sort of a guided marriage self help and is worthwhile. These trained people can often see the obvious, the things that you cannot see because you are so close. In the end going with a councilor or not is not as important as the commitment of the marriage partners to the marriage and to the idea of improving it. Take charge of your marriage, it is important whether or not you seek outside help.

Marriages suffer over time from neglect. Often the two people will sort of go their own ways and the reasons they married are lost with time. When this happens spouses become less involved and develop separate lives. The marriage needs maintenance before this happens and after it does it perhaps needs major repair.

Marriage self help means talking to each other and exploring the relationship. Men are usually less inclined to open up on these issues. A smart wife or a counselor can help at this point. Initiate a conversation about a third party relationship - she might say that one of her young friends is having a relationship problem; she can go on to ask what he thinks the ideal relationship is. Husbands can also use the method it just seemed easier to explain from a wife's perspective. Careful use of this technique can get him to begin opening up since it is easier to talk about others than about ourselves. Care must be taken not to get too close to home too soon or the process will be over.

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The method can be used by anyone, just think out where you want to go before you begin, and you can easily uncover what your spouse sees as issues in the marriage. As you uncover issues you can begin to explore them, you can switch over to asking about your own situation or continue to talk about the third party.

Don't try to control or manipulate your spouse with this method, it is meant only to be a way of exploring feelings to try to find some common ground on the issue that you perceive in your marriage. The two of you may see it completely different you can find your partners feeling safely this way. Just don't go in with a notion that the two of you should see things the same.

The idea is not to trap your spouse into expressing some feeling or belief that you don't agree with and then complaining about it, rather to understand where the two of you are. To understand that there will always be differences. What you might consider special your spouse might think is silly.

Marriage self-help is not about judgment; rather it is about understanding your beliefs about your relationship.

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Let's admit it no marriage or relationship is perfect, they all have their shortcomings. Many women and men complain how they want to change their partner's habits or looks.

Some women complain how there husbands do not want to go out for a drive or to the movies. Some women have concerns about the way they dress or talk in public. "don't do this" the constant nagging, by wives to their husbands and vice versa creates a havoc at houses. This not only effects their own relationship, but also their children. Yes marriage is a sacred bond, and yes you two have to be in love to have married each other in the first place. But a lot goes in to keep a marriage going. And a one word answer to many problems is to let go of your anger, and excessive demands.

The minute you feel your partner's habit is bothering you, try diverting your mind towards other things. Women have said they have literally dragged their husbands or forced them to change their habits. It is fine to do that once in a while, but what if it becomes a habit?. This could be dangerous for any marriage.

If both the partners make an effort to keep the spice in the marriage voila!, but that does not mean that one person can not try. Have weekly dinners, plan the things you both enjoy doing. Always look at the positive attributes of your partner, and remember nobody can be perfect.

The idea of trying to make things perfect leads to problems in a marriage. We are so used to of doing things the most extravagant ways that, we no loner realize what we truly want. Doing things the way others want us to do is not an answer to any problem. The ultimate solution to stop you from fighting with your partner over his or her bad habits is to look at your own bad habits. Whenever you feel this is a flaw in your partner or this act irritates you, think about how many different things can irritate your partner. So always remember on changing your own self. Or trying to correct things that you might be doing which are off. Always remember to look at he brighter side of every human being, since that is the best way to keep a marriage or a relationship going.

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It's a fact that more marriages end in divorce than those that last. It used to be that marriages really were forever. The phrase "till death do us part" was actually meant when it was uttered during wedding vows.

Now, we see or hear about celebrities who marry for 18 hours and couples that get hitched only to get legal status in one country or another.

Marriage is not a word that should be taken lightly, yet it is on a daily basis. But what do you do when your marriage is starting to fall apart, when everything you want is slowly slipping away?

You rescue it.

1) Rescuing the Relationship

To save your relationship, you must first figure out what is causing it to fall apart. Do you and your spouse talk about things, or are you too busy working and raising your family to discuss what's going on?

Have you gone on a date in the last six months? Do you fight and argue all the time, or has one of you cheated on the other?

What is causing the relationship to break down? Let's face it; you don't just wake up one morning and say, "I think I'd like a divorce today."

In order to figure out what's going (or gone) wrong in your relationship, you need to take a step back from your feelings to observe what is going on.

If you fight frequently, write down the things you fight about. Write down the amount of time you've spent together in the last few days, and write down what you were doing when you weren't spending time together.

You will want to get everything straight in your head before you start to talk to your spouse about your problems and what you think might be damaging your relationship.

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2) Talking - It Is Not Overrated

After you have gathered your information, approach your spouse. Make sure you go into the discussion calmly and rationally. You also want to make sure that you're not accosting or accusing, but rather asking and questioning.

If you go into the talk too aggressively, you are going to turn them off and nothing will get answered or resolved. Make sure you lay everything out on the table, from the things that are bothering you to the things that you wish you did more of together.

Explain that you want to know how your spouse is feeling, and that you care about where they want the relationship to go.

3) Scheduling

If you have a busy schedule, you may want to make an appointment to have this discussion. Actually, making a schedule for the two of you on a weekly basis is an excellent idea.

All parents know that children thrive on routine, which is why they have a time to wake up, a time to eat, and a time to go to bed. Relationships thrive on a somewhat of a timed schedule, as well.

For instance, I have a friend whose husband and herself spend every Saturday night together. They have young children, so most of the time they stay in instead of going out. They will rent a movie and either get take-out or some quick meal they can throw together once the kids have gone to bed.

They would leave the lights on in the living room long enough to eat their meal, and then, once that's done, they put the dishes in the sink (they will still be there the next day, so there's no reason to spoil the mood by doing them), turn the lights off and snuggle together to watch the rest of the movie.

They don't talk about anything except the movie, and make sure that they are touching each other as much as we can.

It is not "un-romantic" to schedule time to be with your spouse. Make sure that you get some time together, whether it's going out together, or staying in watching a movie. Sometimes you can pull out a board game, add some alcohol, and have a great night being silly together.

As you get along in your relationship, you come to take each other for granted. Spending fun, relaxing time together is one great way to get your relationship back on track.

If you're thinking about filing for divorce because you can't stand the fighting anymore, stop. Think about why you are fighting, and try to put yourself in your partner's shoes.

When you love each other and put a little work into it, marriages really can last forever.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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