I Resent My Husband For Not Helping: I Resent My Husband For Not Helping With Housework

Make no mistake about it, resentment is a marriage killer. Holding onto resentment makes a healthy, happy marriage impossible. You cannot feel love while being resentful. Real intimacy is not possible while holding on to resentment. The more resentment you have, the more negative your feelings will be toward your spouse. In order to have a successful, healthy relationship, you must learn to overcome your resentment toward your spouse. If you do not find a way to get rid of the negative feelings, you risk having your marriage fail. Let's look at what causes resentment in the first place and at what needs to be done to overcome resentment in a marriage.

What is resentment? The dictionary definition says "the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult". So, to put it simply, resentment is your negative feelings about something that has happened to you. Resentment can also be thought of as unexpressed anger. We have all had things happen that caused us to feel resentful for a short time, but we soon forgot about it and moved on, The danger to a marriage occurs when resentment builds each time there is conflict or disagreement.

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How does resentment build? Any time small problems are ignored and larger issues are avoided, resentment will build. Unresolved problems and not being able to reach an agreement, (even if that means agreeing to disagree) when conflict arises is the biggest cause of resentment in a marriage. Feelings of being taken for granted or of being unappreciated can also cause resentment. When resentment builds, your negative feelings toward your spouse grow to the point that is is hard to look at them in any way except negatively.

Lack of communication is a huge factor contributing to resentment. If something is bothering you and you don't speak up, you are only adding to the problem. You must identify the issues and openly and honestly discuss them. Approach the issues with an open mind and try to see your spouses point of view. If the real issues are not resolved, resentment will build and you will find yourself resenting everything your spouse does from the way they brush their hair to the way they make a sandwich. Silly, you bet, but it is the truth.

Negative feelings caused by resentment affect not only your spouse but they also affect you. It doesn't matter how happy a person you normally are, holding onto resentment takes away your joy in living making you bitter. It changes how you interact with your spouse and with others, causing you to only see the bad and never see the good that is surely there.

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Today it is common knowledge that marriages are ending in divorces most of the time. But did you know that failure rates of marriages can be as high as 85% in some countries? Yes you read right, we are talking about the vast majority of society here. Though it may sound surprising, it is not upon little consideration.

Marriage is an institution that has its foundations in sacrifice and self-giving. In today's, selfish world this is no surprise that rates of sustaining such a relation are quite low.

Good thing is, you are not such a person and strive to do things right and continue your marriage. Solely your efforts deserve to be congratulated.

However, congratulations won't solve anything. And things are especially bitter, if you are the only one who is trying to set things right. When the other spouse's contribution on the matter is only negative you may feel the burden on your shoulders heavier than ever. This is when things get complicated, and you start to lose your logical way of thinking and give into emotions. This has been proved so many times, that your emotional way of acting won't solve anything.

So WHAT should be done?

Once you understand that your solitude and emotions are getting things worse, you will start to work things out. Do not beg for mercy from your spouse, it won't lead to anything good.

That being said, the way out is clear. You should be getting help from outside. Clarity will prevail once you start to follow a structured plan instead of acting in an emotional and chaotic manner. I save my marriage like that, yes I have been there, and it is what you should do, too.

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Asking the question help me save my marriage shows a willingness to want to work things through. Disagreements are a common occurrence in all marriages. You should start by discussing calmly issues that are affecting your relationship and work out a solution you are both satisfied with.

Making adjustments over the years is a large part of a marriage growing and strengthening. One answer to the question help me save my marriage is to agree to disagree and to always have honest, open communication with one another.

The worst thing any spouse could do is to hide things, little or big from the other. This is where very serious problems start and you will be the one asking someone help me save my marriage. if you don't trust your partner and in return give them reason to trust you.

Get the romance back on track and keep it alive within your marriage. Be sure to show your love for each other every day, even if it's just a quick text or phone call to each other you say I miss you or I love you.

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Great ways to help me save my marriage are to really rekindle the romantic spark you once had together. Experiment with each other and talk openly about each other fantasies then act on them.

If you are both feeling some tense and strain on the relationship then take a few days away from one another to really think things through. Meet later and communicate how things can improve and resolve the issues involved. Keeping these tips in mind you will not ever have to ask the question help me save my marriage again.

Remember trust and honesty play a big part in all relationships whether it be marriage or friendship and it takes a lot of work from both of you. If you love each other then it should all be worth it.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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People have long speculated that those in certain professions are more apt to end up with failed marriages and divorce than other members of the population. Recent research has confirmed this belief. You might expect that corporate executives, military, or medical professions might lead to more divorces due to long hours and stress, but in that you'd be wrong. The highest divorce rates belong to dancers and choreographers followed by bartenders, massage therapists, gaming cage workers, and extruding machine operators. In addition, female workers in the various professions tend to have slightly higher rates of divorce than their male counterparts.

Researchers at Radford University went through the statistics garnered during the 2000 census to put together this list. While some of the top five careers involve close contact with people other than a spouse and could therefore promote extra-marital affairs and divorces, others don't seem to make a whole lot of sense. Why would dancers have a whopping 43.05% divorce rate? Why would those running extruding machines come in at number five with a rate of 32.74%? Some of the findings were unexpected as well as revealing.

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There are also omissions in the list that includes the top ten divorce rates by profession. For example, why wouldn't actors and actresses, professional athletes, and other celebrities, be high on the list? We all know how quickly some of them go through significant others, so it seems like they would be somewhere in the top, but they aren't. What makes a bartender 38.4% likely to divorce while those working in the media and communications equipment field have a 0% divorce rate? Experts can only make guesses at what causes certain professions to have higher divorce rates.

Working closely with other people tops the list of suggested reasons why people divorce. Dancers in particular are literally thrust into the arms of someone other than their spouses on a regular basis, and it's surmised that all of this physical contact creates extra-marital attractions. In fact, the majority of professions in the top five involved working with lots of people. Another factor may be in professions which require long hours and a great deal of dedication. Although the old adage says that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", this university study seems to refute the truth of that belief.

The moral of this story is that you need to choose your career with care if you are hoping for a long, happy marriage.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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