I Was The Undecider

There are just too many decisions to make in a day. Don’t you think? I am reminded of my mother, when pressed about why she had made a decision that befuddled her children, would declare, “I am the parent that’s why.” There is no getting around that is there? There is an ultimate authority that seems to trump all other reason.

On a teleclass I bemoaned the fact that I just had too many ideas floating around in my head. How to choose? What is most important? Which one will be the best decision of all time? This is not new for me. I have an idea mobile that hangs over my desk. When I get an idea I hang it from my mobile. My hope is the ideas will float there for me to work on instead of mucking up the workings of my brain.

I talked about being a creative vagabond. There isn’t just one thing that draws my complete attention. Ok maybe I have something else that might require pharmaceuticals, but I contend that I just overflow with creativity.

How to choose? The laundry room in my building is closed. I went out and stood on a street corner with my shopping cart of laundry trying to decide which Laundromat to drop off my clothes. The one in front of me was closer, the one to my left was on the way back from work, and the one behind me I had been to before but was too far away. I was anxious. What if they used bleach on my new 300 count sheets I had gotten for free? It came down to making a choice and taking a chance.

I have been the undecider, afraid to make the wrong decision. I have done it before and paid the price. It is much better to be right. A crystal ball would help. The state of indecision has let me off the hook. If I don’t decide I am not wrong. I am mulling. Thinking. Weighing my options. Here is the rub, it is tiring hanging onto all that possibility and never bringing it into fruition.

I won’t know until I get my clothes back if this new place was the right one. If I am wrong I will pick another place. Maybe I will have to buy news sheets. Is it really the end of the world? Most of the time, our decisions are not life-threatening. Maybe we will be uncomfortable or we might lose some money but for the most part an error can be corrected. Can’t we just admit we were wrong?

My mobile floats above me. My ideas circulate like birds ready to land. Hopefully I will always be full of ideas. Occasionally I will follow the wrong one. But mostly I will take a chance and learn from the experience. I have decided. nnwww.writing-for-life.comn