As a teacher, facilitator and coach, I encourage my students to immerse themselves in a self-study program that allows them to fully realize who they are – that their security, stability and function in the world has nothing to do with what they believe to be true – only what they know to be true. The only way to know who you are is to dismantle your current belief system, to individuate and to differentiate yourself from everything you think yourself to be, do and have. You have to experience the truth to realize the truth. And, you have to experience it personally before you can live it, teach it or coach others to experience it.

As daunting as this sounds, to immerse yourself in a self-study program in spirituality, there is a way to see this that perhaps could have it seem more engaging than overwhelming. I was thinking the other day about language immersion courses, where if you want to learn a language – let’s say Chinese, you go to China and expose yourself to the language, the people and the culture. By doing so you free yourself from referring incessantly to the limited perceptions that tether you to what you believe about language, based on what you learned speaking English. You have to give up the rules used for the one language and come to engage the rules of this foreign language. You don’t have to, but sometimes it’s a lot easier by doing so.

My experience with cultivating fluency in spirituality, or in spiritual practices is that we tend to attempt to transfer the logical and rational, or the rules, from the reality we live in to a reality that doesn’t play by those rules. We absolutely know that we can’t learn Chinese using any part of English language to do so. It is nontransferable. You have to leave outside the door everything you learned about English in order to begin to even see the possibility of making sense of the symbols and the sounds that make up meaning for those speaking Chinese. Initially, its crazy making; however, it doesn’t take much time at all, if you immerse yourself fully in the pratice or the culture to understand the meaning within the symbols and the verbalizations.

Those who immerse themselves in the self-study of who they are realize that the world we live in does not translate into a world that is eternal, formless, limitless and immersed in love. What the heck do we do with the rules regarding security, fear, vulnerability, gain, lack, mine, yours, attack, …?

Our non-spiritual reality – the one we call “our lives,” is void of presence to those aspects of self that you came into human form to experience. We cultivated a language of thought and beliefs within our heads to help us interpret the languaging, the behavior and the reality around us. We developed a persona, a personality with which to interact with the culture and circumstances we are immersed in. We’ve forgotten that we are actually human beings, or for that matter spiritual beings having a human experience. I’ve come to believe that what I think is right, good and true are merely perceptions, and most of them are inaccurate.

Learning to dismantle the culturalized me, in service to allowing the eternal me to be known and expressed is much like giving up the beliefs that the rules that apply to speaking English apply to every other language on the planet. And, I have to be committed enough, to learn Chinese, that I’m willing to let go of everything I ever learned about speaking English. I have found the same to be true for cultivating awareness of the me that lives outside the culturally based reality. The world beyond what I believe to be real plays by different rules.

Some people go off to India to find themselves. Actually, the funny thing is, is that wherever you go – there you are! If you want to immerse yourself in the self-study of you, all you need to do is begin to want to know you, here, now, in this moment. Its FREE!!!

Case in Point
My client Darren, continually experiences his life as not meeting his expectations. He believes that he his living a spiritual life, so he should be receiving the rewards. I began to explore with Darren what and who he believes himself to be, living as a spiritual person, living a spiritual life. I asked: “Darren, let’s say that before you came into this human form, you had an intention for what you wanted to bring into this life. What was it that you wanted to be or bring into this lifetime?” Darren’s response was “Love.” I asked him to put this into a full sentence, and he said “I came to be an expression of love.” I then asked – “To what degree, Darren, are you living your life as an expression of Love.” He answered 50%. I asked why not 100%, if this is what you came to be.

Darren, was quiet for a few moments, then began to share the angst, worry and fear that made up a lot of his life. He had a lot of fear about basic survival needs, his ability to make a living, and that perhaps no one wanted what he had to offer. Though, Darren understood and espoused spiritual principles such as: “I am love” and, “the Universe always provides abundance for me,” he actually wasn’t living as if these were true. He was actually living from “I can’t have what I want; I’m frustrated, disappointed and angered; and why bother trying if no one wants what I want to offer.”

The bottom line was that Darren actually wasn’t trusting the Universe to provide for him. So, he continually thwarted intuitions and internal guidance, which made him nervous and took him out of his comfort zone. He minimized his vulnerability and in that minimized being an expression of love. Interesting how that happens.

Immersing ourselves in the process of self-study requires intention, commitment and discipline only enough to fully engage in what we know to be true. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing; just enough to stay the course, realizing that we are already that which we seek to become. Only by presencing ourselves to ourselves are we able to cultivate the language and culture of that BEING, which allows for easy, effortless expression.

Take the time now to contact me for more information about my Transformational Coaching Training, personal coaching or organizational/leadership development. I’m here to support you in strengthening your intention to live what you know to be true. 360-376-4323

Author's Bio: 

Rosie Kuhn, PhD

Preeminent Thought Leader, Coach and Leadership Facilitator

Dr. Rosie Kuhn, author of the popular ‘Self-Empowerment 101’ and founder of The Paradigm Shifts Coaching Group in Silicon Valley, is the preeminent Thought Leader in the field of transformational coaching, coach training and leadership development.

Rosie specializes in identifying and transforming belief systems that hold us back in business and in life. She empowers individuals, executives and organizations to fearlessly embrace transformation and realize previously untapped potential.

Working with Rosie requires integrity, accountability and commitment to actualize the desired outcome. Her fierce, compassionate nature and grace under fire inspires confidence and cultivates growth.

Rosie began her career over 30 years ago as a clinical therapist for addiction recovery programs in Nova Scotia, Canada. In 1999 she founded The Paradigm Shifts Coaching Group and in 2001, she created the Transformational Coaching Training Program in Silicon Valley, where she facilitated the program for over a decade.

Her unique model of coaching builds upon her understanding of the domains of awareness of our humanity; the foundations of which are systems theory, transpersonal psychology and years of emersion in the field of addictions. Her expansive breadth of knowledge and experience bridges quantum physics to cosmic consciousness.

Dr. Kuhn is brilliant in her capacity to champion transformation within organizations. She has her finger on the pulse of the current global paradigm shift, which gives her an extraordinary fluidity with cognitive, emotional and spiritual acumen.

Rosie has successfully coached and trained professionals in banking, sales, recruiting, HR, health, education, and non-profit organizations, for clients such as Gap Inc., SanDisk, Flextronics, Sun Microsystems and Nike Israel.

Engaging and charming, Rosie is a popular speaker, facilitator and blogger. She captivates audiences, often moving them to both laughter and tears. She has appeared at the podium, on television and radio, at the San Francisco New Living Expo, Santa Clara University and the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Her blogs can be found at

Outside of her career, Rosie makes her home on Orcas Island in the Pacific Northwest. She sailed across the Atlantic Ocean, aboard a 93-foot schooner. Her second book The Unholy Path of a Reluctant Adventurer tells the story of her choice-making process that took her to the far reaches of appropriate womanhood and closer to her own true essence of being. Her third book the ABC’s of Spirituality in Business is now published and like all her books, is available at and Rosie’s upcoming book, Dilemmas of Being in Business, will be available November, 2012.