Importance of Teaching Self-control to your Child

Few months ago, I read a research finding on child development where a study was conducted on a group of kids between the age group of four to six years. This research study was actually conducted few years ago by the students of the Delhi University. In this particular research, the kids were kept in a room for two hours. Kids were offered pastries to eat. But the researchers placed a condition before the kids. According to the condition, the kids can eat the pastries then and there, but in that case they would be given only one piece of pastry to eat. Moreover, those kids who will wait for two hours till their parents come would be offered one additional pastry to eat. After few minutes it’s been observed that 50% of the kids couldn’t resist and eat their piece of pastry. Many waited a short time and then caved; while around thirty percent held out for the doubly sweet reward. The researchers observed the kids for few years after this pastry test and came up with the conclusion that, those kids who resisted their temptation in the during the test in the hope of getting one more pastry, had higher grades, higher SAT scores, and fared better as teenagers with healthier friendships.

Self-control is the art of resisting the inner temptation; it is a feeling that directs us to resist things. But this art we learn in a very early age. We often notice kids annoying their parents in the general store or in the market place for different play items. Kids should enjoy the liberty of expressing their feelings freely, but they should also learn the art of self-control. Being the guardian of our kids, we elders can help them learn this skill. Toddlers often feel frustrated because they do not have means to communicate their feelings. Offer your toddlers the games by means of which they can express their feelings. Offering drawing books with a set of crayons can be a good choice. Parents should never be involved in an argument with their kids. By doing so, kids become annoyed. So always try to make your kid understand your point of view. Moreover, don’t enforce the child to do your desired work. Kids may not find those interesting and thus can lose interest also.

Your actions will show that tantrums won't get kids the upper hand. For example, if your child gets upset in the grocery store after you've explained why you won't buy candy, don't give in — thus demonstrating that the tantrum was both unacceptable and ineffective. Also be involved in the academic activities of your child. Always keep in touch with the teachers of your child so that you can get an idea about your child’s behavior in the school. Be a role model to your child. If you're in an irritating situation and your kids are present, tell them why you're frustrated and then discuss the potential solutions to the problem. If you continue to have difficulties with your child’s behavior, ask your doctor if family counseling sessions might help.