It has been said that planet earth is the plane of duality and this can be noticed by the fact that there are usually two parts to everything. For example, there is hot and cold, up and down, and fast and slow.

There is also “good” and “bad” in the world, and, just as these two things exist in the outer world, they also exist in someone’s inner world. This means that in addition to the “bad” that is outside them, they will also have “bad” inside them.

Part of Life

Therefore, although someone can create the impression that they are perfect or that they only possess positive energy, for instance, this will be an illusion. They, like everyone else on this planet, will have “bad” inside them.

Likewise, if someone creates the impression that they are worthless and are no good, this will be an illusion too. They will be out of touch with their “good” but it will still be inside them.

A Closer Look

Now, when it comes to what one believes is “bad” and what they are likely to have disowned, it can relate to what makes them feel uncomfortable and what society tells them is “bad”. Feelings such as shame, hate and rage and traits that are seen as being unacceptable can then exist just outside of their awareness.

In other words, these feelings, as well as others, will be held in their unconscious mind/body and their unacceptable traits will be repressed. Denying these parts of themselves will allow them to function and to fit in.

Totally Estranged

As these unacceptable parts of themselves have been pushed out of their conscious awareness, it means that they won’t be aware of them. Or, if they do come into contact with them, it won’t be long until they return to how they were before.

Nonetheless, just because they have disowned these unacceptable parts of themselves, it doesn’t mean that these parts won’t have an effect on their life. In one way or another, these parts will leave their mark on their life.

One Outcome

For one thing, not being in touch with their “negative” feelings can make it hard for them to connect to their “positive” feelings. Ultimately, it is not possible for one to pick and choose what feelings they experience; they either have all of them or they have none of them.

To get around this, they can end up being reliant on external sources, such as food or drink, to experience certain feelings. Another part of this is that not being connected to their feelings can mean that they will live on the surface of themselves, in their head.

The Mirror

When it comes to the traits that they have disconnected from, it can be normal for them to come into contact with people who possess them. But, as they won’t be able to acknowledge, let alone accept, the parts of themselves that are perceived as being bad, they probably won’t see the connection.

How these people behave can really press their buttons and they can judge them, but it won’t occur to them why this is. Instead, these people can be seen as being the problem or as having serious issues.

Another Part

And, even though one will have lost touch with these traits, it doesn’t mean that they won’t still behave in ways that are a reflection of them. For example, they could be uncomfortable with being selfish and although they deny this part of them, they can still act in ways that are selfish.

Thanks to the defences that their ego-mind has in place, they won’t be able to recognise when this takes place. If they were to acknowledge this, it could go against the idealised false-self that they have in place.

Greatly Weakened

Keeping these parts of themselves out of their conscious awareness is going to take a lot of energy. Additionally, each part of themselves that they have repressed will also be made up of energy.

These parts will be made up of “negative” energy but, at the core, they will be made up of energy that is neutral. Thus, if a lot of their energy is being used to keep their darkness at bay and a lot of their life force has taken on a “negative” expression, the less energy they will have with which to create a fulfilling life.

Standing in the Middle

For this to change, it will be necessary for them to accept that they have both “good” and “bad” inside them. To do this, they will need to surrender to what is actually taking place inside them and to be with it.

At this point, they could fear what they will encounter if they were to do this and worry about what other people would think of them if they were to admit to having certain “negative” feelings and traits. By being with themselves and facing what comes up, making peace with each part, not only will they be helping themselves; they will also be helping the world.

Making a Real Difference

The reason for this is that when someone can accept that they are made up of both “good” and “bad” elements and they start to acknowledge the parts of themselves that are not pleasant, they won’t need to project these parts into others. Facing and resolving their own darkness will then allow them to truly be the change that they want to see in the world.

The alternative is for them to be oblivious to their own darkness, to then project it into others and to try to change the world. In reality, they will just be trying to change their own shadow and will most likely do more harm than good.


To engage in this process, one may need to reach out for external support. A therapist or healer will provide them with the support that they need to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves.

Like scaffolding on a building, they will allow one to develop their own presence until they are strong enough to hold the space for themselves. At this stage, they will have the ability to acknowledge the parts of themselves that are not currently an expression of “love and light” without beating themselves up.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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