Integrity of Clear Communication

Upon sheer glance, it seems that this title resounds a great deal of common sense, however, have you ever really taken the time to ponder what it means? Yes, it is a fact that communication affects every one of our relationships from the moment we are born until the day that we die! It starts with the relationship we have with ourselves and extends to those that are inter-personal, professional, societal as well as spiritual. With this said, it would be wise to embrace greater awareness regarding the differing communication styles and their inherent sub-modalities since they influence all aspects of our lives. Doesn’t this in itself make it worthy for mindful reflection?

Given the complexity of today’s world with fast paced tele-communication technology, it is essential to take care as we use various mediums for self expression. The advancement in this field brings with it a host of challenges which impact us on many levels. In order to better manage these, an effective, practical approach is to cultivate mindfulness so we may enhance our ability to demonstrate self integrity. By its very own definition, we know that Integrity includes behavior modeling and is not something we just talk about.

Ironically, with the array of choices available to clearly communicate, there is still much too much miscommunication that frequently occurs. Based on the research in the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the meaning that the receiver interprets from the sender is most accurately determined by the response that it elicits, regardless of the sender’s intention. When we communicate long distance or over the internet we lose valuable information that, perhaps at one time or another we’ve taken for granted. It would be an understatement to say that living in this evolving world of change is continually changing our lives.

The basic premise for understanding our interactions is by asking ourselves, what communication is? It is fundamental in any relationship and is very much like art! It is integral to everything that occurs not just on the surface but on all dimensions. It is the natural process of life unfolding in its truest dynamic! It encompasses all thoughts and feelings, sub vocal or verbal, as well as nonverbal aspects of conveying that which we intend. It implies a mutual interaction between two or more individuals or subject/objects. So I choose to write this article not only to provide insight into communication skills, but to particularly recognize the import of integrity as it reveals itself through communication forms.

One practice technique to improve your communication skill set is to adopt the role of observer and ask , if I received this communication, how would I feel or react to it? In other words, pause to stop and think first! It sounds simple, doesn’t it? However, this exercise requires that you adopt a higher awareness (dual awareness) to gain insight into the effects that you may have on the receiver. Many therapists use psycho-education and explain the use of “I” messages for clients who may feel stuck in conflictual relationships. This assertive communication takes patience and practice, though it can make quite a difference in the long run; for example, to say “I am sad because you didn’t call me” is much different than “You were rude by not calling me”. You can actually feel the difference by how it comes across, in that the responsibility of the named feeling states are assigned quite differently. The former shows the ability to take self-responsibility whereas the later infers blame.

Throughout much of the Spiritual, Metaphysical and Business informed literature is the conceptual principle that our current state of mind and thoughts serve as antecedents to what we’d like to communicate. Therefore, in order to begin a mindful reflection process, it is necessary to observe your internal thoughts first. Particularly you may need to further explore the motivations that underlie these thoughts. As you think about this, it is important to recognize that perception & thought ultimately transcends all of what we can ever wish to express through language. What this means is that although language is the vehicle that estimates as closely as possible that which we want to convey, it may not always be received exactly as such. Why might this be so? Words connote slightly different meanings to each of us depending on our upbringing and culture. As human beings we have a myriad of influences that affect how we perceive and respond to others as well as the world around us. Your life experience is certainly different from mine and this is true about all of the significant individuals in our lives.

Our early primary experiences become the database for each of our projected worldviews. These principles back up the conceptual framework that explains how Neuro-Linguistic Programming is used. There is invaluable insight with knowing that it is only our own map of the territory which shapes what we see, feel, experience and respond to. It is up to us to convey with integrity when we communicate. We must realize that we’re always communicating, even when we think or choose not to. As that in itself is also a form of communication. What we say and what we do are part of the whole process.

In light of our personal upbringing, we retrospectively assign meaning to all that we’ve experienced in our lives. Meta-meanings are higher level meanings that we attribute to pre-established meanings that have been organizing our lives thus far. It is up to each one of us to examine our unconscious assumptions. It takes an earnest commitment to truthfully look at these while on the path to self realization. These assumptions can then be de-constructed and re-aligned on behalf of your higher self and for engendering the integrity within clear communication.

Regardless of our own personal experience, it is up to us to assimilate and process what life brings our way as necessary components on our quest for growth. With that said, there is no legitimate excuse not to take responsibility for the words and deeds you choose. You are the only one who can maintain Integrity behind your words and actions. You have the last say in what comes out of your mouth and what is revealed by your actions. Of course we know that this is really nothing new! Being meticulous with your word is a proven Spiritual principle that the highly esteemed Deepak Chopra, Don Miguel Ruiz and others have propounded in their personal literature many times. It is up to you to value the integrity of clear communication. Language is a bridge that shapes your reality, today and tomorrow.

As we all practice mindful communication, we can master the art of language with a much finer precision. In closing, I feel that the beauty of one's integrity is to say what you mean and mean what you say.

Author's Bio: 

Moreen's holistic philosophy integrates both traditional and alternative modalities in all of her creative endeavors. She is a strong proponent for the totality of Mind, Body, Spirit healing. She is a New Jersey Licensed Social Worker who has earned her MSW and also holds a BA in Psychology.

Additionally, she is certified as a Life Purpose and Career Coach by The Life Purpose Institute. She enjoys coaching because she believes in principles that access intrinsic inspiration and motivational strategies. Additionally, she has been trained in Heart Centered Hypnotherapy, Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (Level II), Masters’ level Reiki Practitioner as well as other Communication modalities, such as Parenting Education.

She has worked in both clinical and non clinical settings with individuals of all ages. She is a free lance writer currently dedicating her time to this passion. She reads and writes metaphysical, transformational, self-help literature. She has co-authored a metaphysical book for both children and adults that has been submitted for publication. She has also written a chapter in PWN’s “The Confident Woman: Tapping Into Your Inner Power” which will be released August 2, 2013.

She may be reached at (732) 754-8681 or Linked In
She is available for free lance writing by appointment