Introvert's Survival Guide

Do you bristle when someone refers to you as shy – or offers to “fix” your little lack-of-a-social life problem? Have someone in your life you’re concerned about because he or she spends just a little too much time alone? Read on!

Understanding and accepting who and what you really are – limitations as well as gifts – is a big part of the puzzle that goes into creating a fulfilling and successful life. Acceptance doesn’t mean complacency toward striving for growth or achieving your Big Goals, but it does tell you what you have to work with – and against – and ultimately will give you a far greater chance of succeeding.

Of course success in life means different things for different people, but that’s a whole other story. One thing that is common to most people's definition of success is the ability to be true to ourselves.

75% OF THE WORLD IS EXTROVERTED!

On the surface, introversion looks a lot like shyness but introversion is actually a personality type - not a condition you can change. It is however something you can learn to work with.

SHY VS INTROVERTED

* Shyness is social anxiety, an extreme lack of self-confidence when one is around people. It is a fear of what others think of you. It may have some genetic roots, but it is usually learned from experiences at school, with friends, and in families.

* Introverts tend to be drained by group social encounters and energized by solitary, often creative pursuits. Their disposition is frequently misconstrued as shyness, but many introverts socialize easily; they just prefer not to. In fact, introverts can be more empathic and interpersonally connected than his or her extrovert counterparts.

Bottom line: An introvert and a shy person might be standing against the wall at a party, but the shy individual feels she has no choice, while the introvert prefers to be there.

A FEW FAMOUS INTROVERTS
Abraham Lincoln * Alfred Hitchock * Michael Jordon * Thomas Edison * Bill Gates * Clint Eastwood * Steve Martin * Harrison Ford

I'M AN INTROVERT. YOU'RE AN EXTROVERT. YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND I LIKE YOU A LOT . . . NOW PLEASE STOP TALKING!

* Extraverts are comfortable thinking as they speak and seek out external stimulation to get their brain juices flowing.

* Introverts prefer slow-paced interactions that allow room for thought. Brainstorming does not work for them. Email does.

* Extraverts often have to discipline themselves for bouts of solitary work, and then they prefer frequent social breaks.

* Introverts are collectors of thoughts, and solitude is where the collection is stored and rearranged to make sense of the present and future. Introverts can tolerate—and enjoy—projects that require long stretches of solitary activity.

Bottom line: Living in an extrovert world, it’s not uncommon for introverts to grow up feeling that something is wrong with them, and always trying to figure out the “right” way to do things.

INTROVERT'S SURVIVAL GUIDE: HARNESSING YOUR ENERGY
It is critical to your well-being as an introvert to have enough downtime – if you feel any of the following sensations you need a time out!

* Anxious, agitated, irritable, and snappish
* Unable to think, concentrate, or make decisions
* Trapped and wondering what the meaning of life is
* Drained, tired, put-upon, and pooped
* Disconnected from yourself

Bottom line: No matter how carefully you construct your life, you will still encounter obstacles, challenges, hurdles and unpleasant feelings, and you need to be able to deal with them.

Achieving your Big Goals will require that from time to time you will have to move out of your comfort zone to make progress. As an introvert you need to remind yourself that though you are burning fuel rapidly when you are “extroverting,” you are also gaining new ideas, relationships and experiences.

Tip: If you’d like to learn more about Introversion, I highly recommend The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Landy, Psy.D