Over the years of working with money matters for my clients (and myself), I have seen how money seems to be a “hot” or volatile topic. It pushes a lot of buttons, especially those of security and survival. I’ve seen it be the source of arguments, hard feelings, unhappiness and withdrawal of affection. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Money is nothing more that a tool. It is a means to an end, providing food and housing for your survival needs, reserves for security and the proverbial rainy day. It can provide a sense of freedom and independence. And it can be a source of conflict between you and your partner.

Everyone has beliefs about money and depending on your personality and soul energies, they will express in different ways. Some people will be frugal, control where the money is spent. Others simply don’t seem to have a clue and purchase as if there was an abundance of it (which there is.) Others spend money as a way to get even or express their unhappiness. Some deny themselves small pleasures, but spend freely on their kids or pets. Others use money for the tool it is- a means to bring enjoyment into life. The negative aspects of money come into play when there is not enough to meet what has been spent or when partners have significantly different perspectives about money.

How do you work your way through the money jungle, keep your sanity and your relationship?

First, look at what money means to you. Is it the vehicle that provides you security or freedom to live the life you want? Explore what money means for you, why you make the purchasing decisions that you do. Explore the meaning of money with your partner.

If you find yourself feeling financially a little short, ask yourself, "What are my beliefs and feelings about my financial situation?" When you feel like you don’t have enough money, you also feel a lot of stress. After all, the reason you want money in your life is not being met. People act out stress in different ways.

Some people blame their partner for not bringing home enough money to provide for their well-being. Others don’t feel understood or go on spending sprees, looking for the thrill of shopping and material things to fill inner needs or to "get even". Then there are more subtle attitudes such as “why should I work when he or she is not working and I am supporting the family.” Whatever the behavior or thoughts, dissatisfaction creeps into daily interactions between the partners. Maybe there are sarcastic remarks; maybe there are full-blown arguments. Either way, intimacy declines and warmth and friendship evaporate.

Instead of putting all your attention on how bad your financial picture is and worrying about how you are going to pay your bills, look for what is going well for you right now. It may be totally unrelated to money. You want to shift your energy out of worrying about money.

Since you are in this together with your partner, what are your thoughts, beliefs and feelings about your partner. Do you feel like he is doing his part? Explore what you expect from him. (Hint: What you expect from your partner is really what you want from yourself!)

Once you are clear about your expectations about your partner, look for something that you like about him. Where has he provided you what you expected, even if it is just a little bit? You want to shift your attitude about him, too. Remember, he is probably just as stressed about this as you, but his behaviors reflect back to you what you are predominantly thinking and feeling both about yourself and him.

Next, Communicate!

Both of you have to acknowledge and accept that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Both of you have to be willing to work on it, together. Look at your financial picture. Go through all your bills, credit card statements, bank statements and other financial documents to get a really good understanding of where you are right now. It is important that you do this together so that each of you can see exactly where you are. Inform your kids, too. Many times, kids are the recipients of a lot of spending. Learning about money management at a young age will also benefit them. And don’t kid yourself, they are watching and learning about how you handle situations in your relationship. You are their primary role model.

Determine what is the right amount of money so that you feel safe and secure or have the freedom to do the things you want.

Together, you, your partner and even your kids can create a plan and budget to resolve your financial dilemma. Maybe it means spending less or producing more income or a combination of both. It is important that you do this together. Money can have a polarizing effect and creating a plan together can be challenging. When you understand the deep seated soul and personality energies that both of you are working with, you are in a better position to guide the conversation into a more productive and harmonious solution.

When times get financially tough life offers you an opportunity to empower yourself and strengthen your relationship. When you take charge of your thoughts and feelings, acknowledge the abundance that you already have all around you and appreciate your partner, you are in a strong position to create a new financial reality and keep love in your relationship.

Author's Bio: 

The gifts we have to offer are often transparent. During the process of working with a business coach, I discovered that I had figured out, after a lot of struggle, how to create for myself a happy and fulfilling relationship. I share this wisdom with others who know there is more to life than struggle, unhappiness or frustration in their lives and relationships.

Accessing other dimensions, soul energies and akashic records is easy for me. It's fun! I love to see how energies interact. I believe that from knowledge comes understanding, acceptance and appreciation and the clarity to craft a relationship that works for you.
I am also a Licensed Massage Therapist, Reiki Master, Breema® Practitioner, Soul Realignment™ Practitioner, and Licensed Tax Consultant

Go to www.elained.com, to learn more about how you can achieve a happy life and relationship. I offer Love Soul to Soul Relationship Readings, Soul Realignment™ clearings and intuitive relationship mentoring/coaching, eBooks and courses.