Is Your Body telling tales On You?

Your words may be saying one thing but your body may bengiving out a completely different message! Most of us are verynfluent in reading body language even if we don’t realise it. The actual words that someone uses only account for about 7%nof the message we receive with over the half the messagenbeing a visual one (that’s one reason why e-mails can be sondisastrous at times; we only get a part of the writer’s intendednmessage). Stand Up for Yourself Have you noticed how we tend to pay more attention to thenperson who is standing? People who are standing usually looknmore powerful than those sitting (this fact has particularnresonance for anyone with a disability). It’s because they arentaking up more space. We often assume, when we see someone standing amongst angroup of people sitting, that they are of higher status. It can alsonmake them look busier and important, as if they have manynmore demands on their time. Sprawl and Be Noticed If you are sitting it is still possible to look powerful by taking upnas much space as you can. Stretch out your legs as far as youncan, have your arms out over your chair, and keep your bodynmovements open and expansive. When you are on the phone and want to feel more powerful andnin control, just try standing up. It will help you sound morenassertive and project a sense of urgency. Read Your Client If your client starts using a lot of hand-to-face movements suchnas scratching their chin, holding their face etc, it most likelynmeans that they are thinking of making a purchase but thatnsomething is holding them back; they have a concern aboutnsomething. If customers are unsure about something they often don’t asknfor clarification but just leave. Reading their body languagencorrectly could help you give them the information they need tonfeel comfortable enough to proceed. Nodding Off In the Western world when we’re listening a lot of us move ournheads or nod, women in particular do this to show that theynunderstand. However, it can look as though we are seekingnapproval from the speaker and be interpreted as a weakness. If you want to look powerful try and keep your head movementsnto a minimum. Mirror, Mirror! We are all attracted to those people who we see as beingnsimilar to ourselves. It can create a sense of harmony ornbelonging if two people are adopting similar poses. Just look atnpeople who are in agreement; they will often be sitting in ansimilar fashion, mirroring each other’s body movements. Sometimes people consciously ape the movements of others innorder to create this sense of harmony but be careful, it’s easy tonmake yourself look ridiculous and simply succeed in irritatingnthe other person! Stop Fiddling And finally, just try and be aware of what gestures and bodynlanguage you adopt when you are not feeling confident. Do younstart to chew your fingernails, or fiddle with your hair? Or maybenyou revert to grooming yourself, like fiddling with your socks ornbrushing down your suit? We tend to do this when we arenuncomfortable or with someone we are unsure of. We startngrooming to make ourselves more presentable or we use thendisplacement type activities like hair fiddling. All dead givenaways of our lack of confidence! Watch and Lear You may be surprised by how much you know about bodynlanguage. The next time you find yourself with a few minutes tonspare just sit and quietly observe the behaviour of peoplenaround you. You will be able to tell a lot from simply watchingntheir body language! But be careful how you are sitting – theynmay be also watching you!nn